The Suicide Note

Updated on January 1, 2018

This Story is the Sequel to Ten Seconds of Silence. I just felt I could have done more with that brief Flash Fiction.. so here it... Hope you enjoy.. Come to think about it.. It could be a Prequel.. hmmmm..

Dr. Ariel Rivera was reading the last sentence to the suicide note and Bill Curtis tried to explain how it would be easy for his family to understand. He had written the suicide note with passion. It almost felt like lyrics to a good-bye song. He was careful and deliberate. He showed high emotions and loneliness. He wanted his family to fully understand why he had to pull the trigger and end his life.

The doctor read how Curtis felt lonely and he wanted someone to talk to. He found that someone In Debra, and he was living again even though the ghosts of loneliness still haunted him. He really couldn't do anything about it because they were his ghosts. He had to live with them. He explained to his family that whenever Debra called those very ghosts were locked away. Gone for the duration of the week. That's how powerful companionship could be.

Curtis expressed sadness so plainly that a flood of depression rushed through the doctor. She had to hold the suicide note down for a moment so that she could gather strength. Prepare herself for more misery.

He explained in words that he wanted his last night to be memorable. He put on some Frank Sinatra swing songs and danced with the broom. He pretended that the broom was his late wife Emily. He would dance and spin and hold the broom tightly. It was a fantasy that felt so true he wanted to stay in it forever.

He would laugh and throw his head back like he forgot that Emily had died twenty years ago. He kissed the broom and he pushed the imaginary hair out of Emily's face which was sweaty from the dancing. He would kiss a face that was not there and expected sweat, but instead got the taste of cinnamon. He remembered how Emily enjoyed making cinnamon bread and while baking he'd grab her and hold her tight.
The doctor didn't read the suicide note out loud, but the words kept banging in her ears like drums. The sadness was designed to wound, and she felt wounded.

When the clock struck midnight, Bill Curtis shouted and screamed at a picture of his family. Cursing them for not being with him in his time of need. He wrote that clearly in his suicide note.

His intentions were to get his family to feel again. Hold each others hearts and pull it close so that they could feel the beats.

He ended the suicide note by saying he thought about it so many times. He saw his face change every morning when he looked into the bathroom mirror. He admitted that he was scared and the prospect of taking ones own life made him even more terrified. But he had to do it. He had to crawl across the bridge of depression and meet Emily, Debra and all his brothers and sisters on the other side.

Dr. Ariel Rivera dropped the suicide note and lowered her hand all in one motion. She wondered if the road to happiness came to be for Bill Curtis. Did he find the car load filled with his lost loved ones. Or was the road he chose empty as a night sky without star-lights.

© 2017 Frank Atanacio


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    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 19 hours ago from Houston, Texas

      It is a sad thing indeed to read a suicide note and the person writing it has to be in so much pain. People who commit suicide obviously see no better future for themselves. Hopefully they find peace in the next life.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 2 weeks ago from Shelton

      thank you Shyron hope your holiday was festive bless you

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 2 weeks ago from Texas

      Frank, this is powerful and anyone who ever thought of taking their own life can relate to this story of loneliness

      if they have lost all.

      Hope you had a great Christmas and New Year.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 3 weeks ago from Shelton

      Okay Genna East... I'll buy it.. Thanks for reading and happy Christmas to you and yours :) Frank

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 4 weeks ago from Massachusetts, USA

      "To be or not to be...that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind..." Hamlet's soliloquy came to mind while reading this powerful short, Frank, and the Shakespearean undertones. And how Ariel wondered if Curtis found what he was looking for when he took his own life. ("What dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil...") We can't know what awaits us on the other side. Well done, my friend.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 4 weeks ago from Shelton

      Thank you Bishop and MsDora for reading my note:

    • Bishop55 profile image

      Rebecca 4 weeks ago from USA

      I think at times we can all relate to Bill. Well sadly I can at times. Very moving. Full of emotion. Well done Frank.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 4 weeks ago from The Caribbean

      I sense Bill's loneliness and sadness at the core of my being. Good writing! Those who choose another option than suicide are to be commended, but we must all grieve for those who don't.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 4 weeks ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Peg Cole

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 4 weeks ago from Dallas, Texas

      This slice of realism plays through the minds of those whose loneliness and heartache overcomes their desire to go on. It's understandable, yet so terribly sad. You've captured it well.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 5 weeks ago from Shelton

      Eric thank you so much for visiting bless you

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 5 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Very gripping. That just strange notion of there but for the grace of God go I just kept gnawing at me here. You do well to pull my spirit aside.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 5 weeks ago from Shelton

      thanks for stopping by manatita

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 5 weeks ago from london

      Nice one. Questions at the end, always questions. Yes, a prequel indeed!! Carry on, Bro.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 5 weeks ago from Shelton


    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 5 weeks ago from Jamaica

      Poor old Bill....oh well.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 5 weeks ago from Shelton

      thank you Flourish for the comment

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 5 weeks ago from USA

      Every suicide is different and sad in its own way. Thank you for sharing this bittersweet story.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 5 weeks ago from Shelton

      Nikki thank you so much, you are too good to my writing bless you :) Frank

    • nikkikhan10 profile image

      Nikki Khan 5 weeks ago from London

      Wow,, what an amazing suicide note.I hope the happiness came to him in form of his loved ones as soul is free after death.

      Hopefully he’d be having good time now with his wife and others.

      Very sad and inspiring story,,you wrote it very well Frank.

      Many Blessings.