Updated date:

The Suicide Note

This Story is the Sequel to Ten Seconds of Silence. I just felt I could have done more with that brief Flash Fiction.. so here it... Hope you enjoy.. Come to think about it.. It could be a Prequel.. hmmmm..

the-suicide-note

Dr. Ariel Rivera was reading the last sentence to the suicide note and Bill Curtis tried to explain how it would be easy for his family to understand. He had written the suicide note with passion. It almost felt like lyrics to a good-bye song. He was careful and deliberate. He showed high emotions and loneliness. He wanted his family to fully understand why he had to pull the trigger and end his life.


The doctor read how Curtis felt lonely and he wanted someone to talk to. He found that someone In Debra, and he was living again even though the ghosts of loneliness still haunted him. He really couldn't do anything about it because they were his ghosts. He had to live with them. He explained to his family that whenever Debra called those very ghosts were locked away. Gone for the duration of the week. That's how powerful companionship could be.


Curtis expressed sadness so plainly that a flood of depression rushed through the doctor. She had to hold the suicide note down for a moment so that she could gather strength. Prepare herself for more misery.

He explained in words that he wanted his last night to be memorable. He put on some Frank Sinatra swing songs and danced with the broom. He pretended that the broom was his late wife Emily. He would dance and spin and hold the broom tightly. It was a fantasy that felt so true he wanted to stay in it forever.

He would laugh and throw his head back like he forgot that Emily had died twenty years ago. He kissed the broom and he pushed the imaginary hair out of Emily's face which was sweaty from the dancing. He would kiss a face that was not there and expected sweat, but instead got the taste of cinnamon. He remembered how Emily enjoyed making cinnamon bread and while baking he'd grab her and hold her tight.
The doctor didn't read the suicide note out loud, but the words kept banging in her ears like drums. The sadness was designed to wound, and she felt wounded.


When the clock struck midnight, Bill Curtis shouted and screamed at a picture of his family. Cursing them for not being with him in his time of need. He wrote that clearly in his suicide note.


His intentions were to get his family to feel again. Hold each others hearts and pull it close so that they could feel the beats.


He ended the suicide note by saying he thought about it so many times. He saw his face change every morning when he looked into the bathroom mirror. He admitted that he was scared and the prospect of taking ones own life made him even more terrified. But he had to do it. He had to crawl across the bridge of depression and meet Emily, Debra and all his brothers and sisters on the other side.


Dr. Ariel Rivera dropped the suicide note and lowered her hand all in one motion. She wondered if the road to happiness came to be for Bill Curtis. Did he find the car load filled with his lost loved ones. Or was the road he chose empty as a night sky without star-lights.

© 2017 Frank Atanacio

Comments

Frank Atanacio (author) from Shelton on March 27, 2018:

thank you for reading my suicide note vocalcoach..:)

Audrey Hunt from Idyllwild Ca. on March 26, 2018:

Poor Bill. I actually felt his feelings of loneliness and desperation. Your writing reflects your creativity and the human spirit. I wonder how many of us have at one time or another felt a sense of hopelessness?

I wrote a hub some years back about one of my music students who had planned his own suicide. As it turned out, my words of encouragement were all he needed to change his mind. We never know how our words may affect someone else.

Thankyou, Frank.

Frank Atanacio (author) from Shelton on January 20, 2018:

Peggy thanks for stopping by.. :)

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on January 19, 2018:

It is a sad thing indeed to read a suicide note and the person writing it has to be in so much pain. People who commit suicide obviously see no better future for themselves. Hopefully they find peace in the next life.

Frank Atanacio (author) from Shelton on January 05, 2018:

thank you Shyron hope your holiday was festive bless you

Shyron E Shenko from Texas on January 04, 2018:

Frank, this is powerful and anyone who ever thought of taking their own life can relate to this story of loneliness

if they have lost all.

Hope you had a great Christmas and New Year.

Frank Atanacio (author) from Shelton on December 23, 2017:

Okay Genna East... I'll buy it.. Thanks for reading and happy Christmas to you and yours :) Frank

Genna East from Massachusetts, USA on December 23, 2017:

"To be or not to be...that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind..." Hamlet's soliloquy came to mind while reading this powerful short, Frank, and the Shakespearean undertones. And how Ariel wondered if Curtis found what he was looking for when he took his own life. ("What dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil...") We can't know what awaits us on the other side. Well done, my friend.

Frank Atanacio (author) from Shelton on December 19, 2017:

Thank you Bishop and MsDora for reading my note:

Rebecca from USA on December 19, 2017:

I think at times we can all relate to Bill. Well sadly I can at times. Very moving. Full of emotion. Well done Frank.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on December 17, 2017:

I sense Bill's loneliness and sadness at the core of my being. Good writing! Those who choose another option than suicide are to be commended, but we must all grieve for those who don't.

Frank Atanacio (author) from Shelton on December 16, 2017:

thank you so much Peg Cole

Peg Cole from North Dallas, Texas on December 16, 2017:

This slice of realism plays through the minds of those whose loneliness and heartache overcomes their desire to go on. It's understandable, yet so terribly sad. You've captured it well.

Frank Atanacio (author) from Shelton on December 15, 2017:

Eric thank you so much for visiting bless you

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on December 15, 2017:

Very gripping. That just strange notion of there but for the grace of God go I just kept gnawing at me here. You do well to pull my spirit aside.

Frank Atanacio (author) from Shelton on December 15, 2017:

thanks for stopping by manatita

manatita44 from london on December 15, 2017:

Nice one. Questions at the end, always questions. Yes, a prequel indeed!! Carry on, Bro.

Frank Atanacio (author) from Shelton on December 15, 2017:

yep....

Clive Williams from Jamaica on December 15, 2017:

Poor old Bill....oh well.

Frank Atanacio (author) from Shelton on December 15, 2017:

thank you Flourish for the comment

FlourishAnyway from USA on December 15, 2017:

Every suicide is different and sad in its own way. Thank you for sharing this bittersweet story.

Frank Atanacio (author) from Shelton on December 15, 2017:

Nikki thank you so much, you are too good to my writing bless you :) Frank

Nikki Khan from London on December 15, 2017:

Wow,, what an amazing suicide note.I hope the happiness came to him in form of his loved ones as soul is free after death.

Hopefully he’d be having good time now with his wife and others.

Very sad and inspiring story,,you wrote it very well Frank.

Many Blessings.

Related Articles