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The Suicide Note

This Story is the Sequel to Ten Seconds of Silence. I just felt I could have done more with that brief Flash Fiction.. so here it... Hope you enjoy.. Come to think about it.. It could be a Prequel.. hmmmm..


Dr. Ariel Rivera was reading the last sentence to the suicide note and Bill Curtis tried to explain how it would be easy for his family to understand. He had written the suicide note with passion. It almost felt like lyrics to a good-bye song. He was careful and deliberate. He showed high emotions and loneliness. He wanted his family to fully understand why he had to pull the trigger and end his life.

The doctor read how Curtis felt lonely and he wanted someone to talk to. He found that someone In Debra, and he was living again even though the ghosts of loneliness still haunted him. He really couldn't do anything about it because they were his ghosts. He had to live with them. He explained to his family that whenever Debra called those very ghosts were locked away. Gone for the duration of the week. That's how powerful companionship could be.

Curtis expressed sadness so plainly that a flood of depression rushed through the doctor. She had to hold the suicide note down for a moment so that she could gather strength. Prepare herself for more misery.

He explained in words that he wanted his last night to be memorable. He put on some Frank Sinatra swing songs and danced with the broom. He pretended that the broom was his late wife Emily. He would dance and spin and hold the broom tightly. It was a fantasy that felt so true he wanted to stay in it forever.

He would laugh and throw his head back like he forgot that Emily had died twenty years ago. He kissed the broom and he pushed the imaginary hair out of Emily's face which was sweaty from the dancing. He would kiss a face that was not there and expected sweat, but instead got the taste of cinnamon. He remembered how Emily enjoyed making cinnamon bread and while baking he'd grab her and hold her tight.
The doctor didn't read the suicide note out loud, but the words kept banging in her ears like drums. The sadness was designed to wound, and she felt wounded.

When the clock struck midnight, Bill Curtis shouted and screamed at a picture of his family. Cursing them for not being with him in his time of need. He wrote that clearly in his suicide note.

His intentions were to get his family to feel again. Hold each others hearts and pull it close so that they could feel the beats.

He ended the suicide note by saying he thought about it so many times. He saw his face change every morning when he looked into the bathroom mirror. He admitted that he was scared and the prospect of taking ones own life made him even more terrified. But he had to do it. He had to crawl across the bridge of depression and meet Emily, Debra and all his brothers and sisters on the other side.

Dr. Ariel Rivera dropped the suicide note and lowered her hand all in one motion. She wondered if the road to happiness came to be for Bill Curtis. Did he find the car load filled with his lost loved ones. Or was the road he chose empty as a night sky without star-lights.

© 2017 Frank Atanacio