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The Nixon Trump Interview

Updated on May 21, 2017

Nixon and Trump sat down together. This is how the event unfolded.

Nixon: “Before we get started, I must tell you, that 'as we speak' a Marine Corp lieutenant is in a firefight with the enemy in Vietnam. He is going to lose some men, and he is going to pledge to those men that he will fight for his country and the men he lost until his dying breath. That was forty-five years ago, your time. Now, the first question. To address your concerns, ‘Is the other side bugging us?’”

Trump: ‘That’s what I have been saying. The very words that I speak are reported so quickly to the press. The leaks are the problem. I brought my own staff in. My own security, I don’t need the government to protect me. I can afford my own protection.”

Nixon: You can thank the Bush administration for your leaks. The NSA records every word that every American utters. There are banks of Super Computers that run day and night recording all that is said. They don’t have to listen in. When they want something on somebody, they can isolate those people from the hum and distill their every spoken thought.”

Trump: “How is one supposed to run a country and an International corporation under such circumstances? There is confidential information to be passed through channels. I have many employees and my employees love me by the way.”

Nixon: “I was worried about how history would view me. So, as you know, I taped the conversations in the White House. I spent the last year of my Presidency defending myself against what was heard on those tapes. The people forget we are just humans trying the best we can to enrich ourselves at the expense of others. Now, I have another question. Why did you bring your family into this?”

Trump: “It is a question of loyalty. I wanted people who pledged themselves to me above all others. People that are super rich like me that never experienced want or even work for that matter. I wanted people without empathy around me. What the people of this country needs is a good dose of humility.”

Nixon adjusted the jacket of his suit.

Nixon: “Had you studied just a bit of history, you would know that many of my White House aides, went to jail for their parts in my political scandal. By the time it was over my Chief White House counsel was jailed along with the Attorney General. Even my Security Director was thrown in jail. Many careers of splendid people were ruined. Though one did become a best selling author. Are you prepared to have your children implicated and face possible imprisonment?”

Trump: “I made promises. Many promises. And it is my duty to the people who supported me, no matter what country they come from to keep those promises. This is my dynasty, my time, I am building my place in history. I can stonewall this until the fury dies down. Once I am back to my agenda to commercialize every aspect of life, me and my billionaire friends around the world will have won. Besides, I plan to sign pardons and have them on file.”

Nixon: “You will find that there are people around you, mortally wounding you. The closer the dogs snap at your heals, the more vulnerable you become to deceit and guile.”

Trump: “I have offered clemency in advance for those closest to me. They are completely loyal. Everyone of them is willing to take a spear for me.”

Nixon: “I thought that. When the noose begins to tighten people begin to question their loyalties.”

Trump: “I fired the head of the F.B.I. that should have made the snooping into my business stop. The fake press howled like I stepped on their bare toes. All the talk about the constitution is just so much blather. People without power and money are always talking about the constitution, like it was the only document that mattered. Besides my motives were not corrupt. Of course I told the people I financed my campaign. But it cost so much money. When the offer came for funds for TV time purchased from the Left Liberal Media, you think they give that time away; of course I took it. Many others also took funds from our ‘like thinking brethren’ – of course we did.”

Nixon: “Once arrested men are likely to say anything. You must be aware of that. A prison cell is a long way from the penthouse or the Hamptons.”

Trump: “Should I start asking for resignations? There is some low hanging fruit, that are doing a bad job. I can bring in fresh faces. What do you think?”

Nixon: “Many of my staff resigned, that was the least of their sacrifices and they were tried and sent to prison because of the cover up. Not the crime mind you the cover up.”

Trump: “I have hired a team of lawyers, they will begin coaching all those involved and likely brought in front of a grand jury. I don’t think any of them know enough on their own. Monies were moved quietly through back channels. Much of it spent directly from accounts at the RNC. Maybe I can keep the damages low and the prosecutors at arm's length.”

Nixon: “I floated many modified, limited versions of the truth. Once these dogs of hell are unleashed it is much easier to make a misstep or fall from grace. You might try cutting your losses. Butcher your team, throw some fresh meat to slow down the hounds.”

Trump: “Sometimes I pray I won’t wake up in the mornings.”

Nixon: “I know the feeling. You are not alone in those prayers. But we awaken and we face the music.”

Trump: “All my beautiful subterranean agenda is in jeopardy. I am caught up in all these nonsensical legalisms.”

Nixon: “You will see that in the end your deepest wounds will come from letting your friends, your government and the youth of this nation down.”

Trump: “I won. Why can’t I just enjoy my victory?”

Nixon: “One last thing. I went back to San Clemente and wore a cloak of disgrace for the rest of my life. Pat stopped talking to me. San Clemente became my mausoleum. Not even Kissinger called to see how I was doing. Before you leave the White House make sure you have a signed pardon in your breast pocket. Start negotiating that right now.”

I hope you enjoyed my parody of a fictionalized interview between two presidents.

The video, Green Day - American Idiot [OFFICIAL VIDEO] came with a recommendation. It is pretty awful music. 79 million people have stopped by to view this video on Youtube. You rock and roll lovers are not going to enjoy it. I could not bring myself to feature it.

Buffalo Springfield - For What It's Worth 1967

Elvis Presley - Jailhouse Rock (Music Video)

© 2017 mckbirdbks

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    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 7 days ago from California

      Amen!

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 7 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Audrey - Thank you. What a mess.

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 7 days ago from Taos, NM

      Brilliant!

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 7 days ago from SW England

      This got me smiling but the worry is still there. It's the truth of it all that makes me wonder what will happen. Hope reigns supreme! Ever the optimist.

      Ann

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 7 days ago from Olympia, WA

      I would pay good money to watch those two sit down and chat. It would beat the hell out of any reality tv now on the boob tube. :) It appears the nightmare is beginning to unravel. Let's hope so.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 7 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Suzette - Thank you. It seemed like a natural.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 7 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Ann - The U.S. is a big country. I don't think the majority of us can be fooled all at one time. (There may be historical exceptions.) The turmoil is temporary; people are starting to wake up to the fact that the administration is incapable of the truth. You have every reason to be the optimist.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 7 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Bill - The motive of both men was political power. Their goal was that nothing, least which the law, would stand in their way. Nixon is a footnote in history. Trump will be an asterisk.

      This morning while walking the dogs, I considered a Bush-Trump interview. There is plenty there for those two to share.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 7 days ago from Queensland Australia

      Great interview, Mike. Sorry, you didn't think American Idiot was appropriate to feature but I know it is very different to the type of music you like. It is however a very popular and controversial song. Are those Alfred Hitchcock silhouettes with hair drawn on to represent Nixon and Trump :)?

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 7 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello John - I did see how popular the song is. The music is far outside of my limited taste in music. The blame is mine, no doubt about it. Yes, that is the Alfred Hitchcock image. It seems appropriate for this subject matter. Thanks for the visit and the recommendation. I have received word that others in our circle do like the music/message, so there you go.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 7 days ago from Jeffersonville PA

      I am slow as summer in commenting and this gave me a great excuse to re-read and check out the comments, which are interesting in and of themselves.

      OK, I am in the majority, along with John, in liking American Idiot - for the 'record', the song...not a reasonable facsimile.

      Your muse will not be caged. Brava - I can hardly wait to see what comes next.

      Hoping you have a peaceful weekend. Hugs, mar

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 6 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello mar - I have already admitted of a limited knowledge of music. My range has always been limited. 79 million people can't be wrong. Oh wait. There is evidence that millions of people can be fooled. At least politically.

      I will relay your comment to the muse. ha

      Hope you enjoy your weekend also.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 5 days ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Hi Mike...

      Nixon to Frost during interview: "When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal."

      These two fellows were/are so much on the same page of history/persona in certain ways which you have captured so well. The irony is that now Trump has traversed into far more dangerous territory because of the way he has reacted to and is handling the Russian investigation. He has no one else to blame but himself. (Talk about a fait accompli.) I don't know why certain individuals are surprised. Donald Trump is just being Donald Trump. What did they think was going to happen? In my naiveté, I'm still hoping for an epiphany or miracle.

      Happy weekend, everyone

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 5 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna - An Alexander the Great complex must come with the job. I have run across many 'Little Emperors' in my day. Look at almost any gangster movie and you see this 'unstoppable' demeanor.

      Many storms whirl around the leader and current administration. Most often they have sailed straight into the squall. If they capsize it will be of their own doing. The opposition team is too fractured to assist.

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 5 days ago from Dallas, Texas

      Your wit and writing skill continues to amaze me.

      I can only hope that 79 million people were not mistaken when they made a choice between the candidates available on the ballot. I pray for our leaders as they certainly need all the help they can get.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 5 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Peg - Thank you for the nice comment. Pray for all of us. We are going to need it more than ever. Happy Sunday.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 days ago from Riga, Latvia

      With all the stuff and nonsense in Trump's head I wouldn't be surprised if he really got an interview with Nixon in spirit of course. Great imagination here.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 3 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Gypsy - The leader here is getting very bad advice form those that are getting his ear. He is cozy with the Russians and that goes against everything we have been taught for the last fifty years. Strong men are now lining up in his way, so we will see how it all works out. Thanks for the nice comment.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 3 days ago from Texas

      Great Mike, I can hear Nixon saying those things and trump agonizing over who could have leaked information, and the pot thickens as his favorite son-in-law rolls over on him.

      Blessings as usual

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 3 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Shy - Time for you to start writing the biography. "His Months as President" With any luck at all the title will apply. The issue is deeper than the headpiece. There are real so and so's at the helm in our capitol.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 3 days ago from Texas

      Ohooo Mike, I know next to nothing about writing a bio, but if you have some helpful hints I will sure give it a shot!

      Blessings as always

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 3 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Shy - Perhaps we should leave the biography to the professionals. They must have a stronger stomach than either of us.

      Thanks for the blessings.

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