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The Newest Headliner on the Block

Updated on July 31, 2017

Welcome to the asphalt jungle, you fools

Who believed that you could survive with just your wits

And nothing else that could sustain high cost of living

In a shoe box disguised as an apartment

Fifth floor walk-up that reduces need for gym membership

Hair teased in a beehive of aerosol flavored hairspray

That attracts nothing but bumbling bugs and mobsters

Added too much peroxide to the rock solid concoction

Unable to move in a convertible and a Category 6 hurricane

Gift wrapped in a denim skirt seven inches too short

Black spiked stilettos transformed into a lethal murder weapon

When pushed too far by the cavemen of Times Square

Towered above the usual 5'5" viewpoint of the cityscape

Developed a format of sex kitten with Pat Benatar's aggression

A fantastic formula of making the audience wonder which they'll get

Seduction or foot stomping themes of female empowerment

Even Debbie Harry would be proud of this confounding formula

Entered CBGB with a Mick Jagger type strut when only the opening act

Time to walk up the microphone that suddenly weighed a thousand pounds

Both palms covered in rivers of sweat that could end any drought

Guitars tuned up and drum beats grew more urgent by the second

First verse headed around the corner way too fast

Ready or not, here comes the note that will either be adored or abhorred

Let's hope that it's the former of the two

No chance of going back to regular mediocrity after this moment

Once there's a taste of the bright lights, darkness never the same again

Thank goodness for small favors.

The tools of the trade.
The tools of the trade.
Notes that drive any aspiring singer.
Notes that drive any aspiring singer.

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