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The Music Was Soft...


The phone rang and she picked it up, it felt heavy in her hand because she got so use to the cell phones. It was Heidi, her daughter, and her voice rushed like water, wanting to know what had happened.

She brushed the sweaty hair away from her face as she wanted to choose only the right words to express what had actually happened. There was an odd peace in her heart and that's what she really wanted to start with. She wanted to talk about the good times. She wanted to speak of memories that she hoped to cherish, she wanted to talk about how loving Heidi's father was. She wanted the phone call to be nothing but a happy conversation.

The phone she held in her hand brought back memories of her past that she so dearly missed. She remember the late night chats with her husband when they first were married. The banter, the small talk, even empty words that meant so much. The distraction from reality was what she needed at the moment. She talked to Heidi about the many times she'd kick while in her stomach. The times when she told her daughter she must have been wearing high heels in her womb, because some of the kicks were sharp and direct.

She couldn't help but to notice that the receiver smelled like furniture polish. It was the brand she bought twenty years ago, because it was on sale at Walgreen. She never used another product since, and that smell brought a warm sensation to her heart.

The man she married had dark brown hair and deep brown eyes, and he became the silver haired, round belly pain in the ass she loved right up to the day he died and beyond.

She tried to explain to her daughter, that she had a wonderful life, and she'd do it over again if she could live it all over.

Her daughter tried to tell her she needed her and she tried to bridge the distance between life and death.

She wished her daughter a good life and she hung up the phone. She looked at the photos above the fireplace and smiled. Her family watched her from the picture frames as she drew a bath. She filled the water with a lavender scented bath oil. Her husband loved it when she had that Lavender scent on her body. She then walked over to the closet and took out a toaster she got as a wedding present. They had it for more than forty years and never took it out the box. She even forgot who gave it to her. It was brand new and she would use it for the first time.

The music was soft as the voice of her favorite crooner bellowed out a song titled I'm going to sit right down and write myself a letter.

She loved singing that song to Heidi when she was still in the womb. Her daughter would kick up a storm when she stopped. Those memories would never leave her heart, and she knew it.

The Lavender scent dominated the hallway when she opened the bathroom door. It was almost intoxicating. It made her even forget about the doctor's report that clearly indicated that her tumor was too close to the heart, and it caused the cancer to spread throughout her body. The report did not suggest treatment. It only prescribed pain killers in which she refused. 30 days was the most she'd get out of life to settle her affairs. It only took 3 days and everything was settled. Almost everything.

I'm going to sit right down and write myself a letter, and make believe it came from you, write words so sweet, knock me off my feet, put kisses on the bottom...

Frank Sinatra's voice was drowning out every sound with his swing music and the scent of lavender was dominated by the smell of electricity and smoke.


© 2018 Frank Atanacio

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