The Me I Seek to Avoid
My #13 for National Poetry Month
the despair that grows in me
does so quietly
buckling down,
nailing in nails,
wrapped in a kind of permanence
that I hate to think about.
it is seldom seen,
preferring
to send up shoots
in the panicked dreams
of my 3 a.m. self,
that self
whose subconscious seems
best resigned to such things.
it rises,
bilious,
etched in the glass of windows
which only seek the night.
i lay my cheek against its coolness
and wonder, whether
it is the peace that i seek.
it is only a moment.
© 2017 Audrey Howitt
Comments
Hi Audrey - Your words flow like tear drops in this piece.
- Author
Thank you Mike--I am grateful to poetry--so very grateful to be able to articulate these thoughts and feelings in a way that sometimes resonates with others--
Wow!
Beautiful. We have much in common in your words here. Blessings.
I like the way you go deep into the psyche and invariably come up with a poem that reaches the despair we all have at times...
Very, very good. It invokes that moment in the night when all is not well but we don't know why.
Vivid! Clever! Strong! Powerful! Continue ...
This is beautiful, truly inspired.
I, too, have awoken in the middle of the night-great imagery, Audrey!
You are a perfect example of the incredible talent floating around out there that hardly anyone will ever hear about....you are a superb poet!
Happy Easter my friend!
Although many of us can relate to this feeling, you have put it more beautifully.
I can relate to "a kind of permanence that I hate to think about." Your expressions are so meaningful.
This is a very effective description of despair, Audrey.
I think many of us relate to these words. A constant longing for some kind of personal identity and freedom, but we don't know exactly how to seek it. Wonderful poem, Audrey!
Oh, Audrey..this is perfect! I am behind in commenting, and just getting caught up with various hubs and hubbers. April is poetry month; how blessed we are to read and experience your singular, beautiful artistry. Thank you! Happy Easter. :-)
Good words, if a little sad.
Loved this.
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Thank you Ksnja and Lori--I appreciate your kind words!
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