“I can’t believe she had a nose job done! She doesn’t look prettier now. What do you think? Oh, have you heard about Harry? He is traveling in Copenhagen now. Whew! It must be the only relief he knows after his breakup. Oh, look at this! Myrna snatched the promotion! I wondered how many asses she had kissed in order to grab the prize! Hmm, which comes to my mind – when are you going to release those projects? Do you…”, her anxious colleague blabbered endlessly.
“I have my own timeline. I’m not even sure if you will be the first one to know. Oh, here’s my spot. Bye for now!”, she answered with a queasy scorn.
She strided with glee, almost catching herself jumping in the air, not even feeling her shoes touching the pavement. It was such a relief that she was meters away from her toxic colleague.
“How in a world did I ever learn to put up with her? She drains the life force out of me whenever she spews rubbish out of her mouth. In an era when you can do so much with your time, how can she manage to waste another minute magnifying and obsessing those petty “outsider” details of other people’s lives, those she doesn’t completely know about?”, she mumbled disgustingly.
Kreeeen… She finally opened the door to her apartment. What a cozy way to end an uneventful day!
The clock jazzed a cheery tone. It was 7’o clock. She grinned in a mirthful way. It was a mindful signal that she has reached home and that, it was time for a lukewarm night bath which she adored.
She prepped the tub with a rose-scented body soak with drops of rose oil. She has always loved the velvety scent of rose that was just enough to indulge and soothe her quiet time.
Door shut. Candles lighted. Lights off. It was a relaxing time with herself as she dipped herself into the tub. Oh, how she revered silence! It was in silence that she could hear herself more.
“My colleague should have nights like these so she could strip out layers of her insecurities, fear or anger and see herself at the center stage of it all.”, she vaunted merrily.
“Every time she attacks people through her ill-humored mockery, she reveals her inner wounds that have been festering her self because they were left unattended. They were left uncured. I guess, I should be more compassionate with her then. She is a wounded soul on a lose, desperate to wound anyone to make her feel good under the guise of her own self-proclaimed perfection”, she pondered silently.
“I wish I can show her my Matryoshka. She will learn a lot from my Russian Doll!”, she smiled as she peered to her Matryoshka who was gazing at her at a distant corner of her bathroom.
The Matryoshka smiled blissfully to her surprise.
It leaped open to unravel all the other dolls inside her. They circled her at the edge of the tub as though they were dancing with so much delight and celebrating with her for everything that she is.
They whispered in soft yet warm audible voices.
Be brave to ask.
Be brave to ask yourself.”
And then, they asked in harmony while dancing joyously.
“Why do you even try to please people too much,
Overly-extending, overly-stretching your limits, breaking down your self-boundaries,
Them – whom you don’t even like
Them – who only care about what you can do for them?”
“Why do you remove parts of yourself
That are meant to make you whole?”
“Why do you drown out your voice
In exchange of the voices of those people
Who don’t even know everything about you
And yet they braggingly pretend to be?”
“Why do you slaughter your own dreams,
So their dreams can live or relive?”
“If our similarities to other people can make us happy to share those with them,
And our sheer differences can make us special – then, why do you surrender your Special-ness in order to be happy in the illusion of being universally-liked?”
“Why do you have so much faith in others
And yet, you lose it for the one who deserves it the most – YOU?”
The clock chimed 9’o clock. She must have fallen asleep. It was a weird dream. She enjoyed the rose-infused bath so much that it led her in a la-la-land of her dearly loved Matryoshka.
“You’ve done it again, Babushka (Grandmother in Russian). I’ve learned my lessons well. No need to worry”, she professed while glancing at her Matryoshka Doll fondly.
She stepped out of her tub and quickly got her towel to dry. She looked with a quiet respect at the image she saw in the mirror and whispered endearingly,
“Don’t be afraid to look deep into yourself and ask serious questions because life in itself is an ongoing process of becoming.”, she smiled ever more sweetly.
“I can navigate all the changing tides of my life because I have worked on myself more in becoming WHOLE and FREE.
Thank you, Matryoshka.”
Dianna Mendez on December 19, 2017: