My Bowl's Bigger than Your Bowl!


9:00 AM

Little Girl: “Your bowl is not bigger than my bowl!”

Little Boy: “Yes it is. And I get more food too.”

Little Girl: “You do not.”

Little Boy: “I do too.”

Mischief: “What are you two arguing about?”

Little Girl: “Little Boy said his bowl was bigger than my bowl and that he got more food.”

Little Boy: “Well I do and it is.”

Little Girl: “Is not.”

Little Boy: “Is too.”

Mischief: “Stop, stop, stop. I just don’t understand why you two have to argue over such silly things but since I’m the oldest and wisest in the family I’ll help you resolve this situation.”

Little Girl: “I don’t know if I trust you.”

Little Boy: “I don’t either.”

Mischief: “Well look at it this way, it’s either I help you resolve this or mommy gets involved because of your constant bickering.”

Little Girl: “Okay, I’m in.”

Little Boy: “So am I.”

The Arbitrator ?

Mischief: “Now the first step in arbitration is to understand the problem. Right?”

Little Boy: “Yeah.”

Little Girl: “I guess so.”

Mischief: “So the problem is that Little Boy thinks he has a larger food bowl than Little Girl, is that about it?”

Little Girl: “Some of it. He says he gets more food because his bowl is bigger.”

Little Boy: “And because I’m the man of the house.”

Little Girl: “And I’m beautiful with blue eyes.”

Mischief: “Both of you please, get over yourselves. We all know I’m the most beautiful, softest, most clever, and best loved kitty in the house.”

Little Boy: “Do I have to listen to this again?”

Little Girl: “I think I’m going to be sick.”

Mischief: “Are we ready to continue?”

Little Girl: “Sure, go ahead.”

Little Boy: “Yeah.”

Mischief: “Okay, so it’s Little Boy’s position that he has the larger bowl AND gets more food. Since both of you are a bit on the chubby side I’d say no one is coming up short on food.”

Little Boy: “That’s not the point.”

Little Girl: “Who's chubby!”

Mischief: “Okay, we’ll take chubby off the table.”

Little Girl: “Why is chubby on the table? I’m not allowed on the table.”

Little Boy: “Neither am I. How’d chubby get up there and when did we get a kitty named chubby?”

Mischief: “Chubby isn't a kitty, it's just a word and being on or off the table is just a figure of speech. And before either of you confuse the issue any more a figure of speech is something I can use and you don’t need to know anything about. That’s why I’m smarter and more clever than you!”

(Grumble, growl, grumble)

Mischief: “Now that I understand the problem I can come up with a solution. I need some time to think so let’s take a short nap and meet again before we have dinner. I’m sure I’ll have the solution by then.”

3:30 PM

Little Girl: “I’m here.”

Little Boy: “So am I.”

Little Bit: “Hi guys. What are you doing in here so close to dinner time?”

Little Girl: “We’re waiting for Mischief. She’s helping us reach a solution for a problem.”

Little Bit: “Am I the problem?”

Little Girl: “No Little Bit, you’re not the problem.”

Little Boy: “I’d probably say you’re not THIS problem.”


Little Girl: “Now look what you’ve done.”

Little Boy: “I didn’t do anything and even you’ve said Little Bit can be a nuisance.”

Little Girl: “A nuisance isn’t a problem.”

Little Bit: “Why am I a nuisance?”

Little Boy: “Because you’re Little Bit.”

Little Girl: “Don’t listen to him. You’re not a nuisance—most of the time. And the few times you are you’re not a bad one. We all love you Little Bit so don’t cry and don’t worry.”

Little Bit: “Okay. Can I stay here with you while you wait for Mischief?”

Little Boy: “No.”

Little Girl: “Of course you can.”

Little Bit: “What’s Mischief helping with.”

Little Boy: “Nothing that concerns you.”

Little Girl: “Just a disagreement between me and Little Boy.”

Little Bit: “Can I help?”

Little Boy: “No, you’re too young and you wouldn’t understand.”

Mischief: “Why is Little Bit here?”

Little Girl: “She came over to see why we were waiting around here instead of the kitchen this close to dinnertime.”

Mischief: “Why don’t you go on to the kitchen Little Bit. We don’t want mommy to start looking for us.”

Little Bit: “Why can’t I stay?”

Mischief: “This is a very important assignment Little Bit. If you can’t keep mommy from looking for us Little Girl and Little Boy may never be able to eat again.”

Little Boy: “Hey!”

Little Girl: “Wait a minute!”

Little Bit: “Okay. Wow, I have an important assignment. Wow. Does that make me important?”

Mischief: “It sure does. You’ll be the most important kitty in the entire kitchen.”

Little Bit: “Okay, bye!”

The Solution

Mischief: “Now, let’s get down to my solution for your problem.”

Little Girl: “It’s about time.”

Little Boy: “Yeah, it’s almost dinnertime.”

Mischief: “Well, my solution may not be what you want to hear but it will solve the problem and establish once and for all who has the larger bowl and if one has more food than the other.”

Little Boy: “I’m ready.”

Little Girl: “So am I.”

Mischief: “First, let’s tackle the issue of the larger bowl. After careful examination and deliberation I have reached the conclusion that Little Girl has the larger bowl as far as diameter goes. That means that Little Girl’s bowl is bigger around than yours Little Boy.”

Little Girl: “I knew it, I knew it! My bowl is bigger.”

Little Boy: “Rats!”

Mischief: “Hold on, I’m not finished. Little Girl’s bowl is bigger around than Little Boy’s but it’s not as tall so Little Boy’s bowl is taller than Little Girl’s. That means that even though it looks smaller, it really isn’t because it’s deeper.”

Little Boy: “Huh?”

Little Girl: “Couldn’t you just say yes or no?”

Mischief: “Okay, I’ll explain. If mommy takes a spoonful of food and puts it in Little Girl’s bowl it will spread out and look like it fills a lot of the bowl. If she takes that same spoonful of food and puts it in Little Boy’s bowl it won’t spread as far so it looks like less. Once she adds the kibble, you can’t see how far the real food has spread anymore so it’s very possible that both of you are getting the exact same amount of food.”

Little Boy: “Really?”

Little Girl: “I don’t think so.”

Mischief: “Well there’s one last test that we can do to see if one of you is getting more food than the other one.”

Little Girl: “A test?”

Little Boy: “Is it hard?”

Mischief: “It’s a simple test, not hard at all but it might make you uncomfortable for a few hours.”

Little Boy: “I don’t like being uncomfortable.”

Little Girl: “Just tell us and get this over with.”

Mischief: “Okay, here goes. When mommy puts dinner down the two of you just walk away from it.”

Little Boy: “Are you crazy?”

Little Girl: “You must be out of your mind!”

Mischief: “No, I’m not. The test is the first one who gets so hungry they have to come back into the kitchen to eat is the one who usually gets the least amount of food.”

Little Girl: “That makes no sense.”

Mischief: “Sure it does.”

Little Boy: “How so?”

Mischief: “The kitty who gets hungriest fastest is the kitty who usually gets the least amount of food because otherwise they’d still have some left over energy from breakfast and snacky time.”

Little Girl: “So what you’re saying is we don’t eat dinner and sit around waiting to see which one approaches our bowls first.”

Mischief: “Yes, exactly.”

Little Boy: “And this will prove which one of us gets more food.”

Mischief: “Yes, correct.”

Little Girl: “What if we get hungry at the same time?”

Mischief: “Then that proves that you get the same amount of food and since I’ve already explained the bowl size thing then you’ll have the entire solution to your problem and there won’t be any more reason to argue.”

Little Girl: “I guess we could try it.”

Little Boy: “Okay, I’ll try it too.”

Mischief: “Then that’s settled. Go in, look at your bowls,, then leave the kitchen for a while. Now, let’s get in there before she comes to look for us.”

4:00 PM Dinnertime

Little Bit: “Where did Little Girl and Little Boy go?”

Mischief: “They’re in the bedroom waiting to see who gets hungry first.”

Little Bit: “That’s silly. Why wait to get hungry when dinner is right here.”

Mischief: “Yes, they’re silly but now that they’ve decided not to eat their dinner you and I can have extra helpings.”

Little Bit: “Really? A whole extra helping? I don’t know if I can eat a whole extra helping. The kibble is kind of filling.”

Mischief: “Silly Little Bit, don’t bother with the kibble, just eat the good stuff. Let the silly ones eat the kibble.”

4:15 PM The Bedroom

Little Girl: "You hungry yet?"

Little Boy: "No. You?"

Little Girl: "Of course not."

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Comments 2 comments

Cherie 9 days ago

Mischief IS quite clever, I say.....

Cissy1946 profile image

Cissy1946 9 days ago from Eustis, Florida Author

Oh yes, and devious...

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