I got up off the floor of my living room and there was blood everywhere. What the hell? I thought. There was blood on my body, blood on the kitchen floor, my bathroom, and all over my daughter's clothes. I was shook as I looked around, uncertain and confused about what had happened. The last thing I remembered was arguing with Tink's father, Tray, but I couldn't remember what it was about. It was as if my memory had been cut off. I couldn't remember anything after that. Shaking like a leaf, I quickly checked to see if any of the blood belonged to me or Tink. Thank God it didn't. Then it hit me. If the blood hadn't come from us, then who? As I walked around the house checking to see if anyone else was present, I was scared to death.
"Did I black out?" I thought aloud to myself."What the hell did I do?"
Tink followed behind me, in her onesie and diaper, screaming and crying, but I was too shook up to pick her up. Where the hell was Tray?
"Tray!" I shouted.
There was no answer. Something told me to call the police, but I was too afraid. How was I going to explain all the blood? Even though I had no recollection of what had happened, I knew in my gut I'd done something so horrible. Tink was still screaming, so I finally tapped into reality and picked her up.
"Shhh baby. Shhh." I tried to calm her. "We gotta find daddy."
Just as I was about to put my phone back down, it rang. I looked to see who it was and it was Camille, my best friend.
"Hello?" I answered quickly.
"Kash, I'm on my way. Don't do it!" She yelled into the phone.
"What?" I asked confused. "Don't do what?"
Right then, I knew I'd done something extremely bad.
"I'm on my way. Stay put!" She said, getting ready to hang up.
"No no no! Wait! Camille!" I shouted into the phone.
She didn't respond.
"Cammy!" I shouted again, before noticing she'd hung up.
Oh my God. I thought, looking around the house again. I was so confused. I couldn't believe there was so much blood. Somehow in the midst of it all, Tink had cried herself to sleep on my shoulder. I laid her down on the couch and continued to search the house. All I wanted to know, was where Tray was. I dialed his number and after a few rings on my end, I heard a vibration coming from somewhere. It had to be his phone. My heart fell into my stomach. As the vibration continued, I realized it was coming from upstairs. When the vibration stopped, I dialed it again.
"Tray!" I said, hoping and praying to get an answer from him, but still, I didn't.
I crept up the stairs, trembling. I didn't know what to expect when I got up there.
"Please let him be okay." I said, reaching the top of the stairs.
I walked in and looked around. Exhaling, I was relieved not to have found Tray lying in a pool of blood. There wasn't even a spec of blood in the room. Tray's phone was just sitting across the bed, unattended. Although, I was somewhat relieved, I was still worried about Tray. I sat on the bed confused and lost. I didn't know what to think. I called Camille back to see if she could tell me anything, but she didn't answer. My fingers went over 9-1-1 a few times, but I couldn't find the strength to press the buttons. I couldn't remember anything and I didn't want to go to jail. Just as I was about to dial my mother's phone, the doorbell rang. It startled me, but I was happy Camille had finally made it to me. I needed her help. I rushed down to look out the peephole. What the fuck? I thought. It wasn't Cammy. It was the police. I quickly and quietly backed away from the door. Grabbing Tink off the couch, I darted for the backdoor. When I got outside, there was a trail of blood leading to the dumpster.
"Oh my God." I murmured.
My gut feeling immediately warned me that Tray was inside of it. Tink was still asleep on my shoulder as I hesitantly approached the dumpster.
"Nooooooo!" I shouted, screaming and crying.
Upon lifting the lid of the dumpster, there he was. His body was chopped in pieces. There were so, so many pieces. I slammed the lid and fell to my knees. I couldn't believe it. Did I do this? I thought. It felt as if my heart fell to the ground and shattered into a million pieces.
"Lord, Jesus, why?!" I cried.
I began hyperventilating, feeling as if I couldn't breathe. I don't know how Tink managed to sleep through it, but I was out of it. I just hugged her until I couldn't anymore. In an instant, a car came swerving down the alleyway, stopping right next to me. It was Camille.
"Bitch, get in!" She shouted. "The police are in front of your house!"
I couldn't move. I just sat there, frozen. She got of the car, grabbing Tink out of my grasp and buckled her in the backseat.
"We gotta get away from here." She said, lifting me up and shoving me in the passenger seat.
She sped off, swerving out of the alley, getting out of dodge.
"I killed him." I said.
"Shhh... everything's going to be alright." She said.
Everything's going to be alright? I thought. Did she not hear me?
"Cammy, I chopped him up and threw him in the dumpster." I continued. "MY CHILD'S FATHER IS IN THE DUMPSTER!"
Every time I envisioned his head in the dumpster, I lost my shit. I couldn't stop screaming and shouting, causing Tink to wake up crying.
"It's okay, Tink." Camille said, looking back at her through the rear view mirror. "Your mommy's okay."
Tink continued to cry. She knew something was wrong with me. Camille couldn't take it. She waited til the coast was clear and pulled over to park the car.
"Kash, you have to calm down." She said.
I calmed down, but I was still in shock.
"Tray is dead, Camille." I said. "We have to go back. We have to tell the police."
"No. We're not going to the police." She replied.
I was so confused and she could see it all over my face.
"Do you not remember anything? Any of it?" She asked.
I shook my head no. She grabbed my hand and looked me dead in the eye.
"If you go back, you're going to be in jail for the rest of your life." She said. "You didn't only kill Tray. You killed his wife and his daughter too."
I didn't understand.
"Wha... what are you talking about?" I stuttered.
"You don't remember calling me and telling me about Tray's family he hid from you?" She asked.
I shook my head no. None of this was making sense.
"You were furious when you called me." She said. "You weren't even sounding like yourself. You kept saying you were going to kill him. Then, you called me again and said the wife and daughter showed up at your house. You were talking crazy, but I didn't think you were capable of murder. When you called me back the last time, you were just crying, telling me you had an ax in your hand, and then you said 'it has to be done' and hung up. That's when I knew I had to get to you, but I was too late."
"No." I cried. "You... You're lying."
"That wasn't just Tray's body in the dumpster, Kash."
I had gone out of my mind. I couldn't believe it. I killed, not only one person, but three? How could I not remember doing this heinous shit? I felt like I was having a heart attack as my heart was beating through my chest.
"I gotta get out of here." I said, opening up my door. "I think I need some air."
"Kash, wait!" Camille shouted, as I stepped out and into traffic.
I must have zoned out because as I was running across the street, a car came smacking dead into me... BANG! Lights out... It was quiet for a moment, and then I could hear someone calling my name. I thought it was Camille.
"Kashmir, wake up! Wake up Kash!"
I woke up to Tray shaking me.
"Baby, you're having a bad dream." He said.
It took me a minute to sit up and realize where I was.
"You were crying in your sleep. You alright?" He asked.
I felt his face to make sure he was real, and then I began to cry hysterically.
"You were in the dumpster!" I cried. "You... You were in the dumpster."
"What?" He asked, holding me. "Nah, baby. I'm right here."
He didn't know what the hell was going on or what to do. He just held me in his arms and rocked me. I couldn't believe I had dreamt it all. As I laid on his chest and watched him drift back off to sleep, I got up to use the bathroom. Walking down the hall, I chuckled to myself, relieved that it was all dream. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the light. Once again, I couldn't believe my eyes.
"Oh my God!" I said.
There was blood everywhere. I pulled back the shower curtain and there it was. A chopped up body in the tub. It was Camille. All I could do was scream.
"No no no! This can't be happening again!"
Dominique Cantin-Meaney from Montreal, Canada on March 06, 2019:
Wow! This is definitely intense! I couldn't stop reading it.