He loves to write. It is his passion. It is also his time of reflection and a time to discover more about life.
The wind knows where to blow. The sea knows where to wave. The sun knows where to rise and to set. But here I am I do not know where I am heading.
Today was a blast!
I was stressed. I felt stuffy. I felt lost. I was floating. But why?
It was a strange state but, not new. I remembered it happened to me once and this made me realize I do not know:
- I do not know if it is still me.
- I do not know if it is the right thing.
- I do not know if I can do this.
I Do Not Know If It Is Still Me
Yes, we do change. We think more differently than before, but it is a better way of understanding things for sure. We react more differently than before, but it is more sophisticated and appropriate response. We have more complaints than before. But it makes us proactive now. Now, my question is what have I become?
I will not bother answer. Instead, I would be on guard on every choice I am going to make; I would be cautious about every action I am going to take; and, I am going to be wary on every word I am going to speak. Love creates me; so I am going to live for love.
"Be discreet in words but bold in actions."
I Do Not Know If It Is a Good Thing
Now that I am the author of my judgment, it is not easy to give a verdict. Mind and heart must be in unison but in times of differences, to arbitrate is a battle. And, it shatters me. People around could give their opinions. They could affirm or oppose you. But, in the end, it is solely your option. It is your heart and mind in agreement. People may not have to know. You may not opt to follow them too. Be discreet in words but bold in actions. But take those good actions which show love.
I Do Not Know if I Can Do This
It is a process. It is a journey. There are choices to be made. It is tricky. It is a test. To know if I can do this, I have to keep going. I may fall. I may fail. But, it is not the end.
Can I do this?
If I take courage, then I can! If I learn to see what is waiting for me ahead, then I can! If I hold on to my faith, then I can! If I know I can, then I can!
It is a matter of choice. It is a matter of self-conditioning. It is a matter of trust. It is of faith. Just believe.
Enjoy the journey. Feel every emotion. Live every breath.
So, if today was a blast, then let it be a boom! Boom! Boom!
Enjoy the journey. A shortstop is not bad. Just do not forget to move forward.
© 2018 Jason Behm
Jason Behm (author) from Cebu, Philippines on December 18, 2018:
That you so much for the insightful comment!
Peace be with you as well bro.
Elijah A Alexander Jr from Washington DC on December 17, 2018:
Jason, You asked three profound questions that have one answer that depends on what your "faith" is in. Is it in yourself or the divine?
All actual religions subscribe to the concept that "we are one with the divine" which is within us. Being one with the "I AM" or divine then we know we are able to achieve whatever task is before us although our minds may not recognize it.
What the lack of us consciously knowing we can achieve our task is the fact that there is a missing link between us and the divine within ourselves that needs to be repaired. When the Christ prayed before beginning on his "death march" he set the example for us, "go into our secret chamber and mend the separation causing us to doubt of our ability to do it with the source of our abilitiy."
After my spiritual conception I told the divine within "I am going to consider everything I know to be in error and want you to teach me." Then when I walked away from "the submitting to the world's induced way of life" almost three years later I told the divine to take control of "every fiber of my being" and use me as you see fit. That is what Christ did in his prayer by saying "not my (separate) will but your will be done".
Thus, I have found that when I I'm in a state of questioning I recommit my will to the divine's and find peace of mind.
Jason Behm (author) from Cebu, Philippines on October 21, 2018:
Hi Ms. Aesta1,
I am always grateful for your comment. It always inspires me. After being so dormant for months, I never thought you would be very consistent in giving comments to mh write-ups. Thank you Ms. :) May God bless you!!!
Mary Norton from Ontario, Canada on October 21, 2018:
Courage is the Word. Yes, it takes courage to live fully.