Ten Seconds of Silence

Updated on December 5, 2017


Bill Curtis took care of everything he had to do for his friend Debra. It was exhausting but it needed to get done. He had dinner alone and then sat in his bed room looking out the window at the streetlight.

He didn't like being alone, or feeling alone, but nevertheless he was alone. He felt empty and insignificant. Later in his life when all his friends past away, when he lost his wife and his children moved to other states, he became lonely. Desperately lonely and Debra was the cure for that. Her massive heart attack ended that cure and he couldn't move on. In fact Bill Curtis did not want to move on.

The emotive crest of a man contemplating suicide came in cold moments. Curtis had a pistol on the dresser with only one bullet in the chamber. It was all he needed.

Before he open his mouth and places the pistol inside and takes the out, he made sure the letter to his children could be found in a place where it wouldn't get any blood on it.

He felt the brooding holding him tight and that too was exhausting. It just watered the depression and he felt it grow inside him.

He picked up the pistol and looked at for a moment. His eyes glazed, his jaw slacked, his body felt like a bag of cement weighing him down.

Just before a man could give up his life he had to ask God for forgiveness. If God was truly a forgiving entity he would have understood Curtis's need for an out. If not, fuck him.

Curtis couldn't close his eyes because his nerves were biting at him like mosquitoes. His stomach started to take on a life of its own. He held it tightly with his left hand as though he was experiencing digestive problems. Then he actually vomited.

Bill Curtis didn't even wipe his mouth as he placed the pistol in gently. Trying to get his mind back on track. At the critical moment he needed to tell himself that he was not sick, only sick of being alone and sick of hiding his depression. He'd only feel the relief after he pulled the trigger. That's what he tried to convince his mind to think. He needed that type of thought process.

Amazingly enough , his mind bought it. His mind accepted everything he was selling. He was able to close his eyes as he sat there and listened to ten seconds of silence.

© 2017 Frank Atanacio

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    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 months ago from Shelton

      thank you Erik.. for visiting my page

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      Erik Boyd 4 months ago

      My goodness, I never seen such dramatics in such a few words. I love the laugh paragraph

      : Amazingly enough , his mind bought it. His mind accepted everything he was selling. He was able to close his eyes as he sat there and listened to ten seconds of silence.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 4 months ago from Shelton

      bless you MsDora, thanks for stopping by

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      Dora Weithers 4 months ago from The Caribbean

      Read the sequel so I had to find this. You have done a great job in capturing the dilemma of those who find it hard to accept the dilemma of losing loved ones. My heart goes out to many who relive their loss during this festive time of year.

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      Frank Atanacio 4 months ago from Shelton

      I feel the pain in the silence too Patricia.. bless you

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 months ago from sunny Florida

      There it is again...that silence...I only wonder if my loved one knew that silence before he in fact did pull the trigger. It has taken many many many hours of silence to reconcile what he did ...I understand on the one hand but on the other hand..not so much....your writing keeps me reading to the end...and that is what I look for when I am searching for something to read. Angels are on the way to you and yours this morning ps

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      Frank Atanacio 4 months ago from Shelton

      Very good comment Peg Cole thank you

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      Peg Cole 4 months ago from Dallas, Texas

      As the holiday season moves forward, so many lonely folks like Bill Curtis are out there, despondent. One of my former boyfriends took his own life. I'll never understand why. It seemed like he had everything going for him.

      The way you told this story was captivating and compelled me to keep reading, knowing what was about to happen, helpless to stop it. Powerfully told and a good reminder to us all to be kind.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 4 months ago from Shelton

      Oh, I do agree Flourish about wondering what crosses the minds of jumpers et al

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 4 months ago from Shelton

      flourish thank you for commenting

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 4 months ago from USA

      This was vivid. I often wonder what a person thinks about, for example, between the time they jump off a bridge or ledge and the time they hit the water or pavement below. In this case it was a gun.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 4 months ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Hari..

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      Hari Prasad S 4 months ago from Bangalore

      A very intriguing fictional insight to a depressed mind about to blow itself up.

      - hari

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 4 months ago from Shelton

      thanks manatita for stopping by and checking out my silence

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      manatita44 4 months ago from london

      Awesome, Bro.

      You made it walk the walk, milking it or milking us all the way, like a forensic expect. I expected him to pull the trigger at any time. Oh you're so good, Bro. way to go!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 4 months ago from Shelton

      thanks Ralph

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      Ralph Schwartz 4 months ago from Idaho Falls, Idaho

      This piece really pulls you in and covers so many different thoughts that might pass through someone's head as they are nearing their final moments - well done!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 4 months ago from Shelton

      Tell that to Chris Mills..LOL only joking... Thanks Bill

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      Bill Holland 4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      "The emotive crest of a man contemplating suicide came in cold moments."....one of the best lines I've read in weeks. Yes sir, you are a writer!

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