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The Cub You Left Behind

Amani is a university student who loves writing. I have been writing since I was twelve. I love writing.

Sometimes I can't make out who to be mad at. Am not sure if it should be me am mad at or be mad at you. Have been lost since you left. The place I used to call my safehouse is just filled with tears. It's safety left when I had to be it alone.
.. Am not the person who used to have a smile even when am mad. The smile left my face when you left. Am not the strong guy you left behind, my strength faded when I had nothing to fight for..
Am not the cub you left behind, am a loner lion.

And what hurts it's that it's all fresh. I relive everyday . It all seems like it happened yesterday.. It all seems like its been happening just some moments ago. ..
You pushing me on a tricycle,You teaching me to ride a bike..... .
And then you just gone. Gone. Like a cloud in the sky. You just disappeared.

I wish you'd seen me grow up. Make you proud like you'd have wished me to. I wish you were still around to see your cub grow up... I wish you were still around cause I still need you....

Sometimes am just mad at you. I have lost my way and become someone am not proud of. And am not sure if I should blame myself or blame you for not being here to watch me. I can't make it if it's my mistake or your mistake.... Am confused.

Am a disappointment . The person I am, is not who I wanted to be. Am not who you wanted me to be. Am a different person.
.....
The truth is that I haven't been able to accept that you're gone. Am not the kind to just move on. The truth is that you left with a very big piece of me that I might never get back.The truth is that I miss you more every single day. I just want to be your cub just once. Even if it's for a day. ..
I just want to be the me I knew just once more...
...
Dear daddy I hope you don't see me crying everyday from wherever you are.. I hope you just hug me sometimes even if I don't see you or feel you.. I hope you forgive me for straying.... I hope you still see me as your little cub.

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