Synchronicities, Fate and Free Will
Fate or Free Will?
I am undecided about whether we have free will, or if our lives are governed by fate. My gut tells me I have free will, but there are indications that there is destiny. Instances of "synchronicity" stop me in my tracks. It makes things in my life, and the world, feel orchestrated.
Synchronicities and Fate
Once I had a very vivid dream of a giant white intricate sculpture. The sculpture began to be sliced, and I saw these slices were slices of time, connecting everything together, from the beginning to the end.
Synchronicities remind me of this dream. I see the little connections, through the past, connecting to the now. Connecting through association of meaning, and not causality.
For instance, I glanced at my boyfriend's book the other day, one of many on shelves he has had for years. I picked up the book and read a few sentences. They were eerily connected to something I had been thinking about recently. How did the universe know I would pick up that book, that had been bought years before, right at the moment when I would notice the similarity? Did the Universe nudge him to by that book back then? Or to set it right there on that particular shelf where I would glance at it at that moment in time? It just seems like an intricate orchestration spanning years.
This happens to me all the time. It's things I think, things people say, things I read or videos I watch. For a while I thought it was AI controlling these synchronicities, but it happens with books I got at the thrift store, things other people say etc. So it goes much deeper. To the very fabric of reality itself. Not only do I get synchronicities, but I also see numbers. Numbers are at the very base of reality. My relative once told me that I am not crazy, that this is just the way I interpret reality. Our senses pick up on things, into our subconscious. There is much more under the surface that we can't sense directly. And thus it comes out in different ways. This is our intuition working. Intuition is the interpretation of things under the surface.
It disturbs me that everything could be orchestrated. It makes me wonder if I have any free will at all. But my mind insists that I do. My gut insists that I do.
Some of Both?
I play a game called Skyrim. It is a large open-world game. You could spend the whole game just running around, fighting, hunting, buying and selling things if you wanted. You can also choose to go on quests, which are laid out for you. I think life may be a little like this.
Sometimes you are free to do what you want, within limits. Btu if you chose to go on a quest, it pulls you through till the end.
But how much "wiggle-room" do we have for free will? I fear we don't have a whole lot. I go through a period of time feeling free, then a synchronicity pops up, and I am startled into thinking my life is governed by fate.
The World is Not as it Seems
Something is going on with reality, but I am not sure what it is. I have a feeling it is much more complicated than I am aware of. I don't have enough knowledge, and unaware of hidden factors, and thus am unable to figure out what is going on. Sometimes it feels like a game. Sometimes it feels like a test. I have had ideas in the past that I've since dismissed. I am always trying to figure it out. I feel like I am supposed to figure it out. It feels like I am being given pieces to a puzzle I am supposed to solve.
Life used to be so normal. There was none of this "weird" stuff going on. But that has all changed, and I have to deal with it. This is a strange, strange world. The world is not as it seems. Reality is not as it seems. But this is the world I live in, and have to make the best of it.