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Rome: A City Built on Murder

Surely most of us know of Romulus and Remus, right? The boy twins were left to die by their uncle after their mother, a Vestal Virgin, gave birth to them. They were then raised by a she-wolf, and they went on to found the city of Rome, while the she-wolf went on to become a hit song by South American pop star Shakira.

What's the rest of the story?

There's much more to it. Romulus and Remus were eventually found by a farmer who raised them. When they were growing up, no one told the boys that they were royalty so that they wouldn't complain about the state of their living space.

"If the company of animals is good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for you two."

"If the company of animals is good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for you two."

Eventually the boys got kind of famous for their natural leadership abilities. So much so, that they would get involved in a city dispute, which just so happened to be about their uncle, who just so happened to be the king. Remus would be captured, and Romulus formulated a plan to bust his brother out of jail.

Meanwhile, Remus was in the palace, where the king and his brother (the twins' grandfather) thought that maybe, somehow, Remus was not just a farmer boy, but a farmer boy with royal blood flowing through his veins. Romulus then rescued his brother and they learned their true identities. They helped their grandfather reclaim the throne and killed their wicked uncle. This, however, is not the murder that started Rome.

"We're only getting started!"

"We're only getting started!"

R & R then came to the conclusion that having your own city was pretty neat, so they decided to build one. Problem was, they could not decide where to build their city. In a plot of land with 7 hills, the lads could not decide which hill to build the city on. They decided to let the gods settle it.

They stood on the hills they wanted and waited for a divine sign. Remus saw 6 eagles, which was a good omen, so he ran to Romulus to tell him to suck it. Romulus, however, told Remus to suck it, as he had just seen 12 eagles. He claimed he won, and Remus went off to sulk.

A few days later, Romulus was building the wall to his soon-to-be city. Remus walked up and laughed at the wall, saying it was too small to keep out invaders. To prove his point, he jumped over the wall. Romulus then proceeded to smack him with a shovel until he was dead. That's right. He murdered his own brother. With a shovel.

This little murder is why the Eternal City is called Rome, and not something stupid like Reme.