Skip to main content

Oh, She Got Pregnant!

Everybody has a story, and everyone can learn from one's story. I like to reveal such truths.


Simonetta Davenport hated children. Her hate was not literal as such, but she loved the luscious shape of her petite body. Bearing children, let alone, raising them - even if one child only, was a threat to her loveable figure. Besides, she thought kids would block her freedom, her lifestyle, her goals, her ambitions, and her life. As they say, "Nobody likes babies." Simonetta followed that by heart.

She was very clear about it all the time, and her husband had known this all along especially before marriage and was fine with her decision. But then people change after marriage, and Jake Davenport - the husband, desperately wanted children. Simonetta did not care. It's not her fault if Jake had had a change of heart. Is it? Let him ache in his newly found wish, she would neither negotiate nor budge.

The thing about Mr. and Mrs. Davenport was that they were sharp and conniving people, they would do anything to get what they wanted. Therefore, they matched one another. Jake framed Simonetta. He tampered with her birth control pills, and then, he would feed the fake pills to Simonetta. He would say, "I know how important your figure is to you, and to me too, so have the pill baby, and let's enjoy till the bed breaks." You should have seen the wicked grin on his face while doing that.

Relieved that Jake had stopped pressuring her and was no longer obsessing for a child, Simonetta was actually turned on. She would eat the fake pill and act high as if she had swallowed a happy pill and would perform excellently on the bed. Jake would flash a wicked grin to that. He was getting all that he liked in bed from her. He was getting good sex, and soon, to his beloved wife's fury, he would get a child.

Simonetta freaked out when she found out. She even planted a very hard slap on Jake's face in the middle of a luncheon that had neighborhood guests present. The slap was so hard that neighbors gathered around and started asking curious questions. Poor Jake didn't feel humiliated. He laughed instead and replied to all, "Oh, She Got Pregnant!"

There were "Aaas" and "Ooos." Everybody knew Simonetta didn't want children. She never entertained theirs.

She could abort, but she could not bring herself to do that. She was in denial though. Maybe, she didn't really want it, so mother nature helped her. She suffered an accident and had a miscarriage. Relieving, ha?

Simonetta pretended she was fine; she laughed and partied and shopped and kept her deceitful husband far away. Jake was furious about two things. First, his passion and romance had been cut out, and second, the miscarriage meant nothing to his smug wife. He called her cold and callous. Hell! He even thought he married a stone.

On one quiet night, tears welled-up in Simonetta's eyes for the grave loss of the baby. A good sign! Pleasing too. She broke down in front of her already sad-and-mad husband and warned him of the disastrous consequences next if he tricked her. Jake wowed not to plot again and pleaded with her never to punish him by refusing love, passion, and sex.

Simonetta concluded motherhood is not in her fate. She said, "It's a tell-sign from GOD that she is not meant to be a mother." That's what she interpreted her mishap as, or was that HER way to trick her partner? An unhappy Jake hesitantly agreed with her on the outside, and, on the inside, desperately prayed to ALMIGHTY to change her heart and do a miracle.

Isn't it strange that two people interpret the same signs differently in the name of God? The lovely pair of Jake and Simonetta have wished, believed, and prayed. Let's find out on whose side God is!

Few years passed. One fine day, Simonetta was partying with her friends Rebecca and Ivan. Jake was there too. Simonetta's friends called her Sam. Ivan who was a gynecologist by profession had already noticed significant changes in Simonetta's body (a tell sign), but he kept quiet being afraid of his friend's temperament. Besides, it's just a hunch and he might be wrong. Moments later, Simonetta first complained of dizziness and then puked. A very sure Ivan then carefully broke the news to Simonetta that she could be pregnant.

Simonetta gave a quick glance to Jake. Somewhat suspicious. Jake immediately defended himself saying, "I didn't do anything." Didn't he? Ivan thought.

Jake could see and sense that there was a chance for the situation to be judged and misunderstood, so he immediately corrected himself saying, " I mean, of course, I was involved, but I swear I didn't plot." Simonetta believed him. He said excitedly, "We can do it, baby. It's a blessing." He also did a little dance.

Rebecca had gone to get beverages, upon returning she smelled tension in the air. She asked what happened? Dismissively waving his hand in the air, Ivan replied, "Oh, She Got Pregnant!" Rebecca's mouth flew open.

There it was, she had heard the news twice from Ivan now. Enraged, Simonetta slapped him hard.

It was becoming a ritual now. Each time she got pregnant, she had to slap someone. God save her victims!

This time it was slightly different. Even though she faced a shock upon hearing the news, time had already softened her. Or, was it the last failure?

Simonetta had to psyche herself up, but she was optimistic throughout her pregnancy, which went absolutely well. The only hiccup was, she delivered a very fat baby that she had troubled to manage most of the time, and her body had disfigured from top to bottom including the face. Wait, that's actually two hiccups. Let's not count the drawbacks here. Otherwise, she will go mad.

This was the story of Simonetta's pregnancy, but it's not the end. Approximately after two years, she got pregnant again. What? Again? Yes! Again.

In the hospital, a frightened Ivan gave the good news to her and bucked away towards safety. Fortunately, Simonetta didn't slap and processed the news better this time. Though shock was still there. She said to herself, "Why does it always have to be like this so unexpected." To which her hubby Jake said, "It's a beautiful and happy surprise." Simonetta was unsure if it was to be called a surprise, but she certainly knew it was beautiful, and also, she was happy.

What kind of mother Simonetta would be is a different tale altogether. It can come up for a big discussion later. For now, let her enjoy being pregnant. But when she is remembered by people, they start the conversation saying, "Oh, She Got Pregnant!"

© 2020 Imran Khan