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Not a Christmas Story


Patrick has been working as a freelance writer on fiverr for the past 2 years.

I wake up in my tiny, dimly lit bedroom- Lit by the sun peeping through the curtain, I should mention. It must be 11 something in the morning; I usually wake up around this time. But the day is a little different from other days. It is the 25th of December which means that a good majority of people are spending the day with their families and friends, cooking and making merry as they look forward to a new year: A blank slate for some to start afresh or continue with the current year's goals for others. Either way, there are wide smiles or loud laughs for a good many this time of the year.



My routine

This is not the case for me. As I lie here on my very old bed, old sheets and covered by a single old blanket; I cannot help but think of the many goals and resolutions I've had over the past few years. None of them ever really came to fruition, not really. This, however, is not to say that I am sad. I am not sad or disappointed, not really.

I am finally over my reminiscences; so it's time to get to it. Back to the routines; back to working on past years' goals and resolutions. I don't have a life partner, no kids, no one to really get that close to. I am free, unlike most of my few friends and most of my age mates. So I have nothing really holding me back; so I tell myself. My little truth, my little lie. Keep at it, buddy. You'll get there.

Waking to my workplace now. My little store I opened a few years ago. The streets are not as congested as they normally are. But no matter, the store must remain open. There are people to serve. No matter how few they are today. Have to keep at it. Keep working on the goals and resolutions. So that I can smile and laugh like others the same day next year. How else did they get to smile and laugh as they are today? They kept at it. So I tell myself.

It's been a few hours at the store. Not many people to serve today. It's been a slow one. But I realized something; much like has been the case over the years on this particular day. Most of those coming to the store are coming in pairs or groups composed of a few individuals; joy written all over their faces. It must be happiness glowing from within. They talk while smiling and laughing; even with those strange to them. It must be happiness they exude. No one can fake it. The eyes would give it away. You can always tell by looking at the eyes. I know this to be true; my last relationship taught me a lot.

It's all good


Home sweet home

Time to close now. It's still early but I don't think anyone else will be coming. None of the other stores in my vicinity opened today. That means there's no one to tell goodnight and see you tomorrow. There was no one to say good morning to either. My favorite, cheap restaurant is closed today, same as many other restaurants I would get a decent meal in the area. This means I have to pick some groceries and cook for myself tonight. I am never really in a hurry to get to my place. But it seems I'll be there early today; it’s nothing to look forward to if I am being honest.

Home sweet home, finally. I can see their lights and hear their cheers. To me, it's almost annoying. But it has nothing to do with me. I have to live my own life. Keep at it; so that I can smile and laugh as they do the same day next year.

My meal is ready now; noodles, eggs, and some greens. They'll do while I watch one of my all-time favorite TV shows. It's a new one that just went into its second season. Can't wait to see the direction they go with this one in the coming years. Just a minute! I have to shut down the windows to minimize the noise from their cheers, songs, and laughs. Then I can watch my favorite TV show; in my tiny, dimly lit living room- All in silence.



Goodnight and merry Christmas

I am a little disappointed with today's episode if I'm to be honest. But we'll see how it goes with the next one seven days from today. I'll do the dishes in the morning; I have to get some sleep for now. I put on my nice and comfortable grey pajamas and jump to bed. My very old bed, old bed sheets, and an old blanket. Back in my tiny, dimly lit bedroom and back to my earlier thoughts. Goals and resolutions that need to be achieved. This day next year will be different. I will smile and laugh as they do. Cook and make merry as they do. Hold someone's hand and make them smile. It will be different next year. It should be; so I tell myself.

I should have gone home this Christmas!

© 2018 Patrick