A very inspiring story of a boy who was looking for real God.
Victor's Early Days
Once the rain drops were like volcano erupted drops, once the sun rays were like sharp needles, once the dust particles were like evil spirits. Victor who once avoided those volcano erupted drops, escaped those sharp needles and evil spirits as if former were creating endless cuts on his body, was now lying on the ground with dust on all his body and his flesh dark red due to heat.
The only words he was uttering, “I will rather die but I will not bow before you.”
A mysterious voice came,” Throw him to the river or even better tie him up with a tree in the forest for he will suffer more when wild beasts will carve flesh from his body. Let him suffer and let his rational mind suffer which has always questioned.”
“I am the god,” The voice continued, “And whoever questions my authority will bear my wrath.”
Everybody instantly before the mysterious god Xemon. People worshiped him, sometimes they even slaughtered their siblings to please the mysterious god. How can someone create such a fear in the minds of people that they are ready to sacrifice their children for the sake of their own?
These were the exact words of god, “I am never to be questioned otherwise you will bear my wrath.”
At the age of fourteen Victor questioned his father, “Why do we worship Xemon?”
His father shocked, looked instantly around as if assuring that no one has listened the words replied slowly,” you are not supposed to call his name. How many times have I told you?” Victor asked again, ” Why do we worship such god who looks like us, like all other human beings. Wouldn’t it be better if we worship sun or moon?
“He can adapt any shape and he has come to us in human form because of certain reasons”, his father replied.”But father. . . . . . “Victor was asking again when his father shouted,” Enough of this. We will not discuss it anymore.” ” He is not our god and I will find the real one.” Victor said as he left the room.
” And then let me know too.” Said his father making fun of his son.
Victor inquired about Xemon
After that Victor questioned everybody, his friends, his relatives and unknown persons whether xemon was real god or the fake one. Everybody replied with astonishing silence touching both their ears with both their hands as if Victor had committed a blasphemy.
“May xemon keep us away from his wrath”, replied everybody.
Victor often thought, “What could possibly be the wrath of that so called god that people are that much afraid of him. He can possibly kill someone; torture someone with his black magic, or possibly kill someone whole family. But what can he do more? Can he turn a day into night even with his black magic?
Victor was brought up with so much care and affection. He always got whatever he wanted from his parents as he was their only son. His parents would often send him to an old man for his education. He never went to that old man with the desire of seeking knowledge. He was always forced to go.
At the age of 12 years he would often tell his mother, “I don’t want to go, Mother. it’s very hot out there and I don’t like the heat. I don’t even like the idea of going out there at this time of day when sun is at its peak and its rays are so severe. I even don’t like the dust and the paths which I have to take in order to reach to the hut of that old man, my feet get dirty.”
At other times he would tell his mother, it is going to rain today and I will not go to that old man. Even the tiny drops of rain make me uncomfortable.”
His mother would ask in astonishment, “you don’t like heat, you don’t like rain and you don’t want to go out because of the dust. Then what do you want?
”I like to be at home all day. I don’t like to go outside”, he would always reply.
Those days were long past and he was 16 years old now. He would go to that old man now with great fervor. Now he started going there even in the rain.
A desire was nourishing in his heart, a desire to know the truth and a desire to know the real God. Only one person could reveal that mysterious truth to him, the old man who had knowledge.
He went to that old man for months. After some time Victor realized that the old man was nothing. but the paid servant of Xemon who was creating fear in the nourishing minds of young boys. The idea was to plant the seed of fear in the minds of young boys and it will remain there forever until they die. He had now realized why his parents sent him to that old man. They were afraid that someday their son will raise questions against Xemon. That old man was the last hope of creating terror in the mind of Victor, But he failed too.
The day Victor found the real nature and purpose of that old man and the intensions of his parents, he found himself so alone and so helpless that he found himself oscillating in the endless space between the moon and the earth, the moon at which he was staring at that time. He stared and stared at the moon. He stared at the trees around him. He stared at the river passing by. He kept staring whole night. As he was thinking as staring he became unconscious of the surroundings and a thought came to his mind,
Knowledge And God
“Whoever created this whole universe must be the God and God must have all the knowledge. So from now on I will not believe in any man of knowledge because the man of knowledge always manipulates the facts. There is knowledge in everything that God has created. From now on I will absorb only that knowledge which God will show me. I will absorb only that knowledge which nature will present to me. And from that knowledge I will find the God.”
When he again came into senses he found that the fountains of hope were again rushing through his veins. His eyes were sparkling. He found that an ocean of knowledge was waiting for him. The trees, the birds, the waves of river, the moon and the stars were all sources of knowledge.
It was as if something was revealed to Victor by the God himself. He who wanted to know the truth was blessed by the knowledge itself. He who struggled to break the shackles was provided with the strength itself. He who wanted to think was provided with the reason itself. He who no longer could bear the restrictions, the false rituals and the repressions was gifted with the freedom itself.
He said to his inner self, “From now on I will learn from the nature. I will learn from the sun. I will learn from the moon and the stars. I will learn from the trees. I will learn from the river. And I will learn from those things which in my whole life I have been afraid of, the rain, the heat and the dust.”
All night lost in his thoughts he went to home in the morning where his parents were waiting for him, So afraid of the fact that something had happened to their son, started weeping as they saw him. Victor didn’t utter a single word. He was still lost in his thoughts. He slept. He woke up an hour before
the sunset. His mind was fresh and his courage was at its peak. He came out of the room and looked at the sun.
He said to his inner self, “There is no life without the sun; we will all die without its heat. The purpose of sun is to serve the humanity without demanding anything. One must be like the sun serving all the humanity.”
Soon the sun set and there appeared the moon and the stars. He looked at them and thought, “The purpose of the sun is same as the moon then why God has created two things for the same purpose?
He thought for a while and realized,” There is a limit for everything. No one can cross the limit. The sum and the moon are in their limits. The intensities of the heat of the sun and the moon are different. How will we sleep in the blazing heat if the sun remains all day and all night? Both sun and the moon provide us comfort in their own limits.
Another aspect he noted was the distance of the sun, the moon and the stars. They were far away that no one could harm them.
Victor thought, “How can one live like these mighty creatures, the sun, the moon and the moon and the stars that every power of the world is unable to harm you, except God himself?
Lessons and beginning
He thought and thought but couldn’t get any answer. He decided to go home. His mind was covered with all those things which he had learnt in his first lesson, a great lesson, a great lesson though but this was just the beginning. He had sipped at the ocean of knowledge and there was so much addiction in it that he saw knowledge everywhere even in the tiniest particles of the sand.
His life was changed now. He wandered here and there all day in the quest for knowledge. Everything towards which he was attracted revealed hidden mysteries to him. One day as he was wandering as he daily wandered, he no longer cared for the sunrays and the dust, and it started raining. He observed the rain that how rain has affected the nature. How it has erased all the pollution. It seemed to him that everything, the trees, the grass and the bushes were created this moment as fresh as a newly born baby.
That day he realized the rain drops were not actually the volcano erupted drops. The sun rays were not a actually the sharp needles. The dust was not actually the evil spirit. These were part of the nature. Victor was always deceived by appearances but then he strived to find the inner self of everything. This was a very great lesson indeed.
One day Victor visited the river. It was so calm. Other times when Victor had been visiting the river. It was so full of roars and waves and crests and troughs and anger and harshness.
He thought,” How is it possible that one thing has two completely different attributes which are on their opposite extremes. Calmness and restlessness are both present in the river. It is plain as well as emerging.”
He could not understand what the lesson in it was.”The two extremes at the same time”, he thought “ is it possible?
He waited and waited for an answer, an answer from the divine authority, an answer from the nature actually which had always provided him the answer
As he sat there he saw a lioness so calm with her little cubs that were still blind. The lioness started roaring instantly and kept roaring. When Victor observed closely he saw the lioness fighting with the snake. The snake who wanted to swallow the little cub was forbidden to do so. The lioness struggled.
That was it . That was the answer. Nature again had provided him the answer. The anger which he associated with the river was the struggle actually. It was a great lesson indeed.
He learned calmness and struggle from the river. Struggle actually against the difficulties of life, against the false beliefs, against the cruel clutches of humanity and calmness of the inner self, of the mind, of the mind, of the heart.
This lesson was proved in future the biggest lesson of his life. He always remained restless but now he was feeling a serene calm in his body and in his soul.
As he kept saturating his soul with the knowledge he also made many enemies, the ones who were in favor of Xemon. Victor often thought about the wrath of Xemon . He often thought about his own destiny.
“Will this knowledge be redemptive that I have gained? He often thought.
He waited for the answer because it was beyond his approach to prophesize his destiny.
Victor And Xemon
The month was approaching, in which people gathered to worship Xemon. They also offered their sacrifices in this month. Soon the month came and people gathered on the appointed day. People were offering their sacrifices. Victor was also present there. When his turn came he stood silent in front of the Xemon empty handed. Everyone was so surprised. A wave of terror came to his mind that the god was so surprised. A wave of terror came to his mind that the god was never to be questioned.
Approaching towards Xemon he asked, “Have you created the sun, the moon and the stars?”
“indeed”, Replied Xemon, “I have created these things.””The God who has created the sun, the moon and the stars must be free from the physical realities. He must be free from any harm to his power, his dignity and his status”, said Victor, “Since you are not in that position you are not the God.
“Bow before me and I will forgive you otherwise you are in endless ruin.”
“No, I will not bow before you since you are nothing but walking flesh like all of us. I will rather die.”
“No, you will not die unless I want you to die, but you foolish boy! Someone else will die so that you suffer. So that you bear my wrath”, Said Xemon, “Bring his father and mother and I will cut their throats by myself”
Victor’s eyes sparkled. The streams didn’t started although a few drops came from his seeing bowls, of the most precious liquid of the world, for more the thing is, less its value is. All the lessons which he had learnt, now was the time to do them practically, for what good the lessons were if he just stuck to the ideas not the action.
The calmness, the struggle and the courage which he had learnt from the river were also practically demonstrated by him, for he stood with courage in front of Xemon and yet with so much calmness. His father and mother were brought and their throats were slit by the Xemon himself with such a very less sharp knife, so that the pain could be crated and fear could be concreted in the hearts of people who were witnessing the very act of terror, but Victor remained calm and still like a mighty mountain.
The history was repeating itself, siblings were sacrificed by their parents earlier but now a child sacrificed his parents. The earlier deeds were due to fear but the happening one was due to dignity. Fear and dignity these two things, either the first dominated the other or the other dominated the first. There was a fine line between these two. Victor had entered the boundaries of dignity, it was impossible for the clutches of fear to make him any harm. In all people standing there fear was at its peak, they were in the boundaries of fear. That’s why they were being ruled. While the man of knowledge was standing there with his head high. His parents’ was nothing as compared to the dignity he had achieved through knowledge. Knowledge was the way, knowledge was the medium and knowledge was the rhythm to awake from the sound slumber. The wrath was not actually the wrath unless anyone thought it so.
At this point when he had sacrificed the most precious assets of his life, standing there he got the answer of his last question, the question which was still to be answered.
“How can we live like the sun, the moon and the stars that no one can harm us?”
“To obey the nature or God, whatever we call it. When we obey single, the real source and the driven source we are free from all the fears of the world. We are free from the restrictions of humanity. No one can harm us then. People like Xemon, they can beat us they can torture us and most of all they can kill us, but they can’t do any of it unless we want so. They can’t harm us unless we want so.”The blood stopped flowing from the throats, for most of the blood was sucked by the fear in their whole lifetimes and whatever was left in their body was sucked by the earth.
His father’s eyes yet open were looking at his son and asking infinite questions “Have you not found the real God yet? If you have found then why haven’t you told us. We were stuck by fear our whole lifetime, but you tried, at least you did that. Farewell.”
And few more precious drops came from the eyes of Victor.
“Beat this stubborn cold hearted boy until he bows before me”, Said Xemon to his armed servants.
He was beaten and beaten until he was no longer able to stand up. He was now lying on the ground with dust on all his body and his flesh dark red due to heat.
He was tied with a tree in the middle of the forest as a feast for the wild beasts. When he came into senses he found himself tied with a tress, just few steps away from the river. The river was not calm. The was roaring, roaring like a mad man as if trying to save his son, as if trying to save itself. The clouds were grudging. The wind so fast that even the trees stumbled. The birds were flying all over the sky. Soon it started raining and it washed everything. It seemed that everything was like a newly born baby.
Victor looked and he was fascinated by the sight. He was fascinated by the fact that he was going to breathe his last in the surroundings where he had learnt so much.
The question was again rising in his mind, “Is knowledge redemptive?” “yes indeed”, He thought, “Is it not better to die rather than live in fear. There is no dignity in bowing before the mortals. Dignity lies within the knowledge, awareness and in serving the real God, the benefactor. I feel pity for the people who bow before the Xemon. And I feel pity for myself that I was unable to defend my parents and all those people who are still suffering, and who will live in fear their whole life. If I would’ve told them about my knowledge and bout nature they wouldn’t believe me, for knowledge is only worth having when you earn it. If you by force assert your knowledge you disgrace your knowledge.
Victor Meets Truth
It was near evening now. The sun slowly started to set. Voices of wolves arose everywhere. Lions roared distantly. It seemed the jungle’s king was approaching towards the feast.
Victor kept on talking with the trees, with the river, with the birds and with the fields when he stopped a few drops but streams of that precious liquid. He stopped a moment and started weeping. Now there were not only the few drops but streams of that precious liquid. He wept and wept in joy, it seemed. What could possibly be the joy of that miserable man who was at the edge of death?
“I strived to find one and one thing only which I have found now”
It seemed he had found the God. Yes, he actually found the God. He looked at the trees, the river and the stars one last time.
The nature, who was his teacher always.
The nature, who was God himself.
The nature, which was eternity itself.
© 2020 shahid mahmood
shahid mahmood (author) from multan on April 06, 2020:
Thanks Brenda your appreciation is valuable for me, i am new writer on hub pages or any online place. i am looking for your constructive criticism.
BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on April 05, 2020:
Wow! What a story of great strength and dignity.
The courage of a little boy to find faith.
But it is so sad.
I did enjoy reading it. You created the picture in my mind as I followed his journey.
Note: i tried to leave you fan mail but it didn't work.