My Foreign Queen, In Response to Bill's Challenge Prompt 4

Updated on February 29, 2020
manatita44 profile image

Manatita is an esteemed author living in London, UK. He writes spiritual books, flash fiction and esoteric poetry, his favourite genre.

Rules or no rules

According to Bill, there are no significant rules. A Flash Fiction or story of about 500 words or 2,000 for the short story, if you like. Bill and I are similar. We don't adhere strictly to rules. Nevertheless, I have included the one photo prompt for this piece.

Reading Bill's Hub with link below, will tell you all about the value of prompts for those who need this. Peace.

My Queen



We met on the internet and I was immediately captivated! That enchanting smile, as pure as the radiant moon … those deep brown alluring eyes, as if scanning into my joyful heart for affinity. I listened, she chatting away from behind the screens, telling me of her hopes, her visions of tomorrow … a life with us together … boy! Did my blood rush!

Her voice was sweet, charming, eloquent … scholarly, but with a sweet simplicity of dress, yet fitting for a Queen. She wore a Dhuku Gele head-wrap, ebony eyes gleaming like the sun, surrounded by trees in the National Park, where her video was made. She wore a pink blouse, neatly tied at waistline, flowing in symmetry with her extended colourful skirt, laced with Caribbean flora and coconut palms.

Sebeena kept giggling; I could feel a sweet naiveite and burst of emotions, as our spirits merged, even with me just sitting in front of my computer screen … she, in a distant land. I was immersed in love, with this stunning and charismatic beauty.



The Story

It all happened by chance one year ago. She was looking for a guy and I was looking for a girl. She was twenty-five, with me just turning thirty. A perfect match in age, I thought. We were introduced by online friends, who had studied both our works and felt that we would be suited to each other.

Two passionate writers, we shared much in common and she would often tell me of her dreams and aspirations, how she saw life, her moral values; sense of adventure and creativity. Time passed and we were like the moon and stars, sharing our lustre, finding space for each other … playing with our closeness and warmth, with great fervour and zest.

It was inevitable that we would meet someday … we both knew that this was only a matter of time. So here I am, standing outside a train station in Dacca, Delhi, awaiting my beloved one.



The train was exactly as she described it. Green front with a beige top, light green on the sides. Not fancy, but safe, sturdy, reliable. It was bang on at 1500 hrs. I first heard the hooting sound, then the bounding metallic roll and screeching halt, as the brakes were applied. I saw the bellow of smoke at the rear and the beautiful scenery, like forest trees, paying silent homage from the background.

I saw the inspector up front, casually patrolling the line with his smart navy-blue uniform, to include his military-looking cap. Hands in pocket, he strolled calmly forward and all seemed well. Across the tracks and to the left of the train, was a pink carriage, probably a combination of fuel, food, men and maintenance, but I was eager and too busy looking for my Sebeena to notice much.

Suddenly she appeared, like a royal princess, wearing her head-wrap like a Queen would wear a tiara, sweet neck decorated with ornaments and draped in clothing of the finest silk. I rushed forward, unto the gravel track, as she opened the carriage compartment and leapt straight into my arms.

Manatita, The Lantern Carrier. 29th February, 2020

Writing prompts

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© 2020 manatita44


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  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london

    Thanks me Dear.

    Too true. Appreciated!

  • MsDora profile image

    Dora Weithers 

    4 months ago from The Caribbean

    You reveal your romantic heart whether your write poetry or prose. Beautiful story. Beautiful photos. Good read!

  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london

    Ah John.

    I actually knew one from school.

    Back to your sentiment. So charming ... so sweet. Welcome here. Much gratitude

  • John18Brown profile image

    John Brown 

    4 months ago

    It is such a captivating love story. I love every bit of it.

  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london

    Thank you, my Didi Ji.

    I was thinking of you a.m. Not sure why. Perhaps I'll remember later. Peace!

    P.S You will like my last Hub.

  • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

    Chitrangada Sharan 

    4 months ago from New Delhi, India

    Beautiful and romantic love story. A great response to the picture prompt.

    Your description of Sebenna is beautiful.

    And they lived happily, ever after—-. I like happy endings.

    Thanks for sharing.

  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london


    Another romantic? I suppose you have to be, with such an eye for the aesthetic and ethereal.

    That is part of my background, but we discussed 'time' a moment ago, didn't we? (Chuckle) What I wish to do before Grace takes this body, is a Magnum Opus of Poetry and to tell spirituality in a simple way, using our Christian scriptures. I'm nearly done and have been nearly done for 4 years! As is with the poems. I have 800, enough for 4 books! I need to leave a divine legacy.

    "MY Supreme, my Supreme, my Supreme,

    Do give me, 48 hours a day, to accomplish,

    Everything thing that I need to accomplish,

    Every single day." - Sri Chinmoy

  • Peggy W profile image

    Peggy Woods 

    4 months ago from Houston, Texas

    You took Bill's photo prompt and ran with it creating a beautiful love story. Well done, Manatita! You should do more like this!

  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london

    Hi Miz,

    Once started, it flowed too perfect for any other ending. Haha. Thank you so much.

    Hi Chris,

    You mean you would have killed the buzz? Aah! Thank you so much!


    Verlie, happy endings can be very beautiful sometimes. Thank you so much!

  • MizBejabbers profile image

    Doris James MizBejabbers 

    4 months ago from Beautiful South

    You did a wonderful job, Manatita. That was a nice ending because so many online romances end up in disappointment. The photos you added were very beautiful, too.

  • cam8510 profile image

    Chris Mills 

    4 months ago from Green Bay, Wisconsin...for now

    Oh, I am so glad you are not me. I think we both know how this story might have ended if I were driving. Beautiful—beautifully written every step of the way. You did not disappoint.

  • snakeslane profile image

    Verlie Burroughs 

    4 months ago from Canada

    Vivid story telling Manitita. I like your approach. And the happy ending!

  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london

    My forte also, Pamela.

    I grew up as a short story and poetry writer.

    Your sentiment is heartfelt and loving. Thank you so much!

  • Pamela99 profile image

    Pamela Oglesby 

    4 months ago from Sunny Florida

    This is a beautiful love story, Manatita. Sebeena was described as such a beautiful woman and I hope their love lasts forever. This was such a beautiful love story to be told in such a few words. You surely met the challenge and then some.

  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london

    Ah Donna

    So you are a romantic too? Awesome! Thank you so much!

  • Donna-Rayne profile image

    Donna Rayne 

    4 months ago from Greenwood, In

    Manatita, this is such a beautiful love story and at the end when you were waiting for her to get off the train, I was hoping she would come out soon rather than not show up at all!

    Love it!

    Donna Rayne

  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london


    There is always something sweet and special, as well as intriguing and adventurous about these relationships. Eric seems to be saying he met his wife on line. They can work.

    Thank you so much. You sweet romantic soul!

  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london

    Well Lorna,

    I grew up as a Creative Writer and both Language and Literature, are my best subjects. Thank you for your wonderful sentiment. Highly appreciated.

    You know in Theatres, we have scrub nurses, surgeons, anaesthetists ... so speciality is great too.

  • Lorna Lamon profile image

    Lorna Lamon 

    4 months ago

    Romance is still alive Manatita and how well you capture its beauty. A lovely story captivating in its telling and accompanied by beautiful photos. I envy the ability to write stories, something I have never been good at. I shall have to stick to poems. An enjoyable read and I love a happy ending. Well done.

  • bravewarrior profile image

    Shauna L Bowling 

    4 months ago from Central Florida

    Manatita, this is such a beautiful love story. I hope their love continues to grow and nurture each other.

    I once met someone online. We had a brief, but very hot relationship once we met in person. We even lived together for a while. Turns out, though he was a raging alcoholic. I ended the relationship knowing it was not healthy for me or my young (at the time) son.

    Your story is enlightening and bright with promise.

    Great job!

  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london

    Thank you My Bhaia Ji. Are you going to try? Appreciate your fine sentiment. Hare Krishna

  • Venkatachari M profile image

    Venkatachari M 

    4 months ago from Hyderabad, India

    A very beautiful and natural touch to the scenery. I enjoyed your story a lot, Manatita. Your narrations are excellent appealing to the heart.

  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london

    Thanks John.

    I gave this one a light touch. Appreciations.


    I wanted to stay romantic for Love's sake. Lol. Thank you so much!

  • always exploring profile image

    Ruby Jean Richert 

    4 months ago from Southern Illinois

    Such a romantic! Lovely story with a happy ending. I enjoyed reading your story. Happy trails to you...

  • Jodah profile image

    John Hansen 

    4 months ago from Queensland Australia

    A very pleasant story with a happy ending manatita. Nice photos too, and I loved the song African Queen.

  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london


    Didn't you get my mail? Let me know.

    Thanks for the lovely sentiment. Om Shanti!

  • surovi99 profile image

    Rosina S Khan 

    4 months ago

    Cute story with a happy ending. I loved it. Thank you for contributing a piece of lovely fiction, Manatita.

  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london

    Haha. Bill,

    I did it without the photo. It is actually different but the photo helps. My mind is filled with fertile imaginations. Lol. Thank you so much!

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 

    4 months ago from Olympia, WA

    Absolutely beautiful! Your description of Sebeena is perfect. Without the photo I could still picture here. Well done my poetic friend. You crossed over into prose, but it is still poetic.

    blessings always

  • manatita44 profile imageAUTHOR


    4 months ago from london


    Sweet Chuckle. Yes, I understand, Bro. I almost ended it with marriage, but one aspect of the Flash is to leave you guessing. Ha ha. Thank you and especially as you can identify from experience. Not me though. Just Flash! Haha.

  • Ericdierker profile image

    Eric Dierker 

    4 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

    Well this is wonderful. I met my wife and then left across the Pacific. We courted through the Internet. 20 years later our marriage is safe.

    Of course I loved the ending.


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