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Me, Elizabeth and Our Sick Sense (Part 1)

My childhood friends used to name their cats, dogs, fish and dolls. When I became a bit younger, my girlfriend started calling me by different adorable names. But I never did such stupid things. I love to name ghosts.

It’s hard to tell on whom this story is about, Elizabeth or me. We were so close to each other. Let’s get started with my side of the story. Eli will automatically make her appearance.


Am I crazy thinking about striptease in the local train? All I managed to do is sing my favourite song in the rain. And then one day I visited a crematorium to see how close I am to the end. I have also written a poem for my first love. After our break up I found the first two lines of the poem written on the wall of a public toilet.

In 1990, four other kids with the speciality of reading minds were born along with me. I brush and floss once a week, sometimes twice. I wonder if people do more or less. No! You can’t always read others even if you have special ability. I have never won a PUBG game. I am too tired to fight, too depressed to survive. But that’s okay. At the day’s end, we all get what we deserve, chicken dinner or bullets.

I have five songs on my phone, one in dragon language. But now they are all deleted. Sometimes I wish to buy all the white tees on earth, sometimes I feel like swallowing billions of painkillers at a time. Human ears are more unique than fingerprints, but our government thinks differently. You can still use them for listening music. It’s the best natural coping mechanism. If you are still stressed or anxious then just open your eyes and find someone with pretty vibes.

After my college, I met Eli. She came into my life like a nontheistic prayer that brings peace of mind. She filled me like Baphomet has filled the holy grail with infected sperm. Finally, I was so happy as if a voodooist had found his doll.


Nothing lasts forever, let that be love or orgasm. Even the Myrrhbearers found the empty tomb of Christ on the very next day. I had an uncle with mental disabilities. But they said he’s unique in a different way. I was not born with an open heart. But I never found it difficult to share my parents’ love with him. One day he died keeping his head on my mother’s lap. It was the bluest day of my life.

After the death of the body, the soul leaves the world. But they are not obligated to do so. I still feel my uncle inside me. Perhaps the grim reaper was busy when uncle died, or he never wanted to go. I have never seen a therapist for my identity disorder because I am confident with my characters.

Have you ever been at a lesbian wedding? Confess to a stone? Tried meth with your girlfriend? And left her alone?


I work in an office which is not affected by global warming. But things get changed during the power cut. When there’s no light, I feel more comfortable. It seems like there’s no one. But I can still hear and smell them. That’s really disturbing. Listening, hearing and smelling must be controlled by the different parts of the brain. I have to learn the way to control them all from the same node.

It’s hard to deal with spiritual struggle. Getting multiple orgasms is even harder. Kurt Cobain says god is gay. But Mahatma Gandhi has different opinions. Life is full of confusions, but death is inevitable. Male corpses often get erections. Perhaps they find death more appealing than women. Sometimes I wish there were two of me. Bipolarity is in my vein. Ma buys cold cream in June and leather shoes in rain.


Ma is a Kirtan singer. She expresses devotion to deities with her group. We often share spiritual thoughts and find god where ever we go. The emotive states of ma have a profound effect on me. She says god is everywhere. There are 33 million in Hinduism, one in Islam. One God exists in Three Persons, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Still, it’s hard to find one but serving him is within your power.

One day Eli came back with a crown on her head. But some relationships just go in vain. Sleeping with the same girl don’t make guys friend.


Some people can see what’s happening with their body when they are unconscious. It’s called near death experience. With NDE you are neither living nor dead. Starting the journey is easy but coming back is not. When our body cuts off oxygen to the brain, it starts booting the overdrive, knocking for information to operate the organs. Due to this reason, all the life scenes start playing at once. Everything you have ever experienced, felt or believed starts passing in the blink of an eye. As a result, many people see their life flashing before their eyes right before death.

A teardrop shining like diamond bringing the memory of us

Don’t ask your man for apples, don’t be the angel of thirst

She was pretty, prettier than I deserve

But later I realised she was full of fake stuff

Plastic, silicone, arsenic and cyanide

Few of those things that made her mesmerise

The only thing natural I ever found in her

Were the radioactive hormones that caused holocaust

Love that doesn’t true turns into faithful hate

Tell him not to be surprised if he finds scars between your legs

Hosanna let’s get together when we still have time

We both need someone to pay for our crimes

Hosanna forgets those sins that we have committed in past

Just give me a wound that will bleed till the eternity pass

You shall kiss that wound if it makes you happy, or do it out of spite

Darling wishful snakes don’t afraid to bite

Hosanna call my name one last time

Now love me and die


© 2019 Abir Kumar Das

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