Love Murdered by Society
She was sitting with her mother, trying not to cry. Her face was red and eyes were teary yet she managed to compose it. She inhaled deep and looked at her mother, begging eyes, and trembling hands. Her mother averted her face and threw the cold stones of her words at her.
“Stop looking at me. Your father will be here at any moment. He’s going to ask you about the proposal, which we have selected for you, and you are supposed to say a YES, Okay? And don’t you dare to tell him about that boy. Don’t put disgrace your family.”
Ammi please, He is a good boy. Why don’t you understand? Please, let me talk to Abbu, I know he would listen to me. Please ammi…
Amina, stop it. Are you out of your mind? What would you tell your father? That you crossed your limits? That you broke our trust and started loving a boy?
Ammi, how can you say that I broke your trust? Did I ever cheat you? I never dated him, I never talked to him. It’s just he is my class fellow and he came with his proposal. He didn’t ask for my friendship, my love. He simply said that he wants to send his proposal. Is this what you call BREAKING YOUR TRUST?
Stop arguing Amina. Her mother tone was harsh.
“He is not of our caste. And what do you want? We should marry you there and then we will be the one facing the laugh of people. What will we tell people? That our daughter liked that boy, that’s why we got her married out of our caste?”
Ammi! Does caste matters? You always taught me that everyone is equal. We should not discriminate others. You always asked me to be a good Muslim. Ammi does a good Muslim does so?
Amina. Stop teaching me. I am your mother. Understand? And now stop it. We have selected the boy of our choice. And I am your mother. How can I do something bad for you? I have selected the best for you. He will keep you happy.
A tear dropped from Amina’s eye and touched her cheek.
When her father came in, she said YES and then she sealed her lips.
Her eyes were dried yet so full of tears. She looked at everything with a sad smiled and sighed.
“I have only one fault, I am a DAUGHTER.”
It was a worst night for her. She cried and yet her heart was so full of pain. She never thought that her parents will do it to her. She always thought that they will prefer her happiness over society but she was wrong. Just like all other daughters, she was wrong.
She remembered how her teacher told them about that incident that how Hazrat Muhammad S.A.W asked Hazrat Fatima R.A, when Hazrat Ali R.A asked for her proposal. Didn’t He S.A.W know that what Hazrat Fatima R.A would say? Then why did He SAW asked from her? Because He SAW wanted to set an example for His Ummah. To let people know that ask your daughters before choosing the one for her. To make people understand that marry your daughter if she is willing, otherwise don’t force her.
She put her hand at her mouth and cried. Her heart was getting cold and empty… and she was feeling as if she has lost everything.
Sitting with her on the same bench of the University, where I proposed her. I turned towards her, but she was not looking at me. It broke my heart. It never happened that I am with her and she will avert her gaze.
She was so quiet and looking at her feet. And I felt as if the whole world is mourning at her quietness. Even the sky was not happy with her sad face and it covered its face with clouds.
So you’re going to be happy? I asked in a low voice.
She looked at me and smiled with her sad, empty eyes. ‘Yes, I will be happy. My parents have chosen the best for me.’
I averted my gaze and put my hand at my chest. Something was shattering there, and I felt as if the whole pain of this world is making its way to my heart.
I looked at my palms and my eyes started to fill with tears but I controlled it. I was there just for her, to make her feel that I am happy in her happiness and all I want is her happiness and I knew if she saw me crying, she will never be able to accept the new life she is going to start.
We kept quiet for so long and the trees around us looked at us with pity, they looked at me and asked me to stop her, to tell her that I love her and want her, to tell her that my heart is breaking and I can’t see her with someone else but I sealed my lips with her love. I can’t be selfish. If her parents are not willing for this then how can I encourage her to disrespect her parents?
I looked up at the clouds and I sighed. They were so dark, and I felt as if every inch of my body is getting dark too, black and gloomy. Now I will be mourning this for the rest of my life, that how society snatched my love from me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
I wanted to cry, so loud, to tell her that I will never be able to forget her. I can’t live without her. I wanted to put my head in her lap and cry till I take my last breath there. How can I give my whole life to someone else? My soul was wailing and shouting at me to stop her, but how could I? I am not the one who is in her destiny.
I muster my courage and put a fake smile at my lips and looked at her.
‘I am happy for you, and I will always pray for you.’
She looked at me with same fake smile and teary eyes.
‘I know, thank you.’
I guess I should leave now. She looked at me as if she was looking at me for the last time and bid her last good-bye to me. I felt so numb, I couldn’t say anything and she left.
I was left alone on the bench, I rested my head at the back of bench and a tear rolled down from my eyes, and suddenly the sky started crying too. It started rain and I cried with the saddest rain ever.
And I made a grave there. Near that bench. I buried all of the memories there but I wasn’t able to bury my heart there. It was another grave in the history of love but it has the same tombstone.
‘Love murdered by Society.’
© 2017 Syeda Sabah