BeckyTP formally known as Rebecca Moraa is a student at Moi University Main Campus Kenya. My passion in poetry grew in primary school.
Love, an illusion of human minds
From the genesis of man, the mind has been a sea of imaginations and virtual creations. The globe has been tremendously transformed by these mirage-like thoughts that have harbored in each man’s head. Across centuries, generations have been involved in various developments, both psychologically, physically and emotionally. World over, there’s much history and tales recorded, unrecorded and of which exists rich networks of what man has been able to make, rather invent for a beneficial use. There has always been a notion of “leave the place better than you’ve find it” and frankly and proudly, man has done it in greater scales. Throughout man’s existence, there has been a million plus mysteries. There are more mysteries than puzzles since puzzles get to be solved but mysteries can never be, no matter a million forces are put into work. Only speculations can be gathered and a promise of a future look into is raised to keep the mystery at bay. Feelings have been a great wonder to the human mind and that has raised concern to different minds below the earth ceilings. Love being at the forefront, represents the big question about feelings.
“Love”, a four lettered word but which twitches a certain “feeling” if at all it’s a feeling whenever it is mentioned to both young and old, male and female or to anyone who has ever have “a taste of it” as they say. Among the populations, everyone has a tale or two of love, whether in praise of its sweetness or in cursing its merciless deadly pangs. What surprises or raises the mind’s antennas high: what is love? What is this thing contained in love? How does it exist? How does it live inside us? When does it rise and when does it set? What does one mean when they say “I love you?” what does one feel when they utter these three “magical” words as most put them? What is the motive when one utters these words? Has it occur that one knows what these words mean? What does one speculates as the response whenever these words are mentioned? Where do these words come from? Is it the heart, the soul, the spirit or the mind? What does one feel when s/he falls in love? Do people feel the same towards each other when they whisper love confessions? Do people really love each other? Does love really exist? Why do people complain about their “lovers?” Why do people become annoyed or get angry at each other because of love? Why do people commit suicide or murder their lovers for their fallbacks in love? Is this love real or an illusion of our minds? The questions are endless but they offer an insight into what love is: an illusion created by the human mind.
Philosophers, poets, psychologists, theologists, novelists, musicians, essayists, playwrights and all sorts of professionals have documented a thing about love in various different ways. Each of them has tried to create an argument or dispense an explanation that seems fit to unravel the love mystery. Most studies have been done in an attempt to capture it all but in most; no suitable explanation has ever filled the gap on this mystery. But why? Isn’t love experienced by all these people? Why should they miss an explanation to it? Why should their explanations contradict with each other if love is what they speak about? To make it simpler, no one can explain what love is. It remains an abyss of darkness in the sea of imaginations of our minds. In most definitions, rather the basic definition in our modern times, love is stated as a strong feeling of deep affection for somebody or something. In this light, love is a “feeling” of “deep affection.” The definition specifies and pins down the meaning to be of a deep nature. “Deep and strong” is there any measurements that can be done to determine that the feeling is strong and deep? Which criterion is used in determining the depth and strength of feelings, in this case, of love? Most individuals will say a big “yes” and would say it quickly. According to our advancements, one will be quick to point different techniques used by various professionals and institutions in conducting cognitive studies, but a fact remain that denies the quick yes a win: all techniques are prone to errors and that data gathered is not always correct. A feeling can never be measured in anyway, and if it can, it’s never a feeling. If love is said to be a feeling, then it can’t be established in a basis of strength and depth, and if it can be scaled such to be determined, it’s never a felling.
With time, humans have been able to breakdown the larger love into categories. There are different types of love; existential love, erotic/romantic love, spiritual love, fulfilling love and some more but the main type which shouts louder above all: romantic love. It’s what our society drifts to when love is ever mentioned. It’s what most humans seem interested in, crave for and can easily die for if their illusioned expectations are thrown to the winds. Naturally, humans adore and crown what derives pleasure to them, and love is largely one of them, the main one for most of them. Ironically, our mind cheats us into bowing to illusions that forcefully chains our lives to them.
Love comes from the society, from pour previous generations and we can never tell who invented the idea of it, who named it and who made it be part of us, what s/he felt about it. Obviously, most of us have never taken time and question the things that our society imposes into us. Most times, we accept the things around us and drag them into our lives and everything about them is normal to us and comfortable in our midst, that’s our mistake with what we call love. There’s no one around us who can confidently tell what love is. We were born and found the phrase in use, and we’ve acquired it and use it daily. Most humans interact with these words in movies, films, magazines, online sites and articles but yet we’ve never known their meaning. We can’t express what we feel when these words fly out of our lips. The other person can’t understand what s/he feels when the phrase is projected to them, or can’t explain what it means to be in love. Everyone says they fall in love, but it doesn’t ring a bell when asked what they mean. It’s never the heart, the soul, or the spirit that makes us utter these words. It’s about our illusions and illusion-driven speculations that make us harbor love in our midst.
Humans have a nature of knowing themselves. When a human knows who s/he is, there are desires that awaken in him/her. These desires drives one into a state of exploration, where s/he allows or needs a fellow human whom will both connect and share their desires with. The connection is an interest that grows between people, which makes each want to know each other and associate the other as someone who reflects their desires to themselves. This is never love. What is termed as love doesn’t match this connection. In our scriptures, love is entitled with qualities that can’t be found in a human being. It’s only in a supernatural being that such possession of these qualities about love can be found. Love isn’t romance, love isn’t promises, love isn’t company, love isn’t sex, love isn’t cohabitation, love is not need, and love is not feelings. Love isn’t all what we picture it to be. We all grasp a different mental picture about love and yet we can’t explain what we feel about love because it never exists at first place. Then we ask ourselves, what is this love? Love is an illusion created by our minds in the place of our desires.
© 2018 BeckyTP
dashingscorpio from Chicago on April 21, 2018:
"Love, an illusion of human minds." - Not exactly
No one can convince a mother her love for her child is an "illusion".
Ultimately to love someone means you care deeply about their welfare. The only difference between paternal, friendship, sibling, and "romantic love" is our desire to be physically intimate and affectionate with our romantic love. Attraction, chemistry, and compatibility also play a role.
The "illusion aspect" of love related to the "triggers" one's culture and society teaches them about romantic love gestures and expectations.
Little girls and women are taught to appreciate receiving flowers, balloons, candy, and cards from boys and men. We see this in romance novels and Hollywood movies so much that when it happens in someone's actually life it tugs at their heartstrings.
Breakups and makeups are also portrayed as the most romantic road to living happily ever after. You speculated why some people kill those they claim to love. The reason why this happens is because they don't want this person to love anyone else or be happy with anyone else. Romantic love can be selfish/obsessive.
A lot of people believe their life isn't worth living if they can't be with a specific person. Once a breakup occurs they simply can't let go.
"Love is an illusion created by our minds in the place of our desires."
To believe this to be true one most also believe it's an illusion to (care) deeply about the welfare of another person period.
That's a big part of love. We can't simply say love is an "illusion" without nullifying our feelings for our parents, grand-parents, siblings, friends, and our children. If it's possible to "love"/care deeply about the welfare of those folks it must also be possible to have the same feelings for a mate, spouse, or unrelated person.