I decided to try moving outside my comfort zone of poetry.
I have made an attempt at flash fiction. All critique welcome to let me know if I am on the right track
Charlie woke up and looked at his surroundings. “Oh, not again!”he said under his breath, as he realised he was in a police cell. Charlies problems with alcohol had been going on for more years than he cared to remember, but wakening up in a police cell was becoming a more regular occurrence. His drinking had been escalating and the horrors of blackouts and not remembering where you had been or what you had done had become the norm.
This time was different, they had taken his clothes, he was wearing a disposable coverall and his hands were covered in blood. Oh my god what have I done? He thought as he broke into a cold sweat. He could be a pest when drunk but had never been violent. His mind is racing with all sort of crazy thoughts as he tries hard to remember, but everything was blank, all he can remember is being in his usual bar and then waking up in this cell. He starts to sob uncontrollably please god let there be some simple explanation and I promise I will never drink again.
The police officer opened his cell door Charlie looks at him with a tear stained face. “Have I done something really bad”? He asked. “You’re a lucky boy Charlie,” the officer said. “We thought we were arresting you on suspicion of committing a serious offence when we found you covered in blood, but it turns out you are a hero. The paramedics told our officers at the scene that an old paramedic colleague had helped save the man’s life by putting pressure on his wound until they arrived and had then staggered off.
Charlie has not had a drink since that day.
Charlie Halliday (author) from Scotland on December 18, 2019:
Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on December 18, 2019:
Nice job, moving out of your comfort zone. I have never tried flash fiction. Maybe I'm too verbose for it. :)
Charlie Halliday (author) from Scotland on December 11, 2019:
Thank you Brenda
BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on December 10, 2019:
I agree with John. It is great to try new things.
I loved the ending too...so glad you were the hero.
Charlie Halliday (author) from Scotland on December 07, 2019:
Thanks John. I had planned to write my message on the dangers of alcohol blackouts in a poem but thought this story might paint a better picture.
John Hansen from Queensland Australia on December 06, 2019:
It’s great to see you branching out and trying your hand at flash fiction, Charlie. Good story and love how the ending turned out.