Letter TO the Other Woman
This letter is in response to a Letter FROM the Other Woman. Please read it first before reading this one.
Dear "Other Woman,"
In response to your recent letter, I must say I feel sorrier for you than for me. I was not the one who had been cheated out of the joys of life. It was you! You admitted my husband never took you any place but kept you behind closed doors away from the world. How sad!
After reading your letter, I was angry and bitter and wanted revenge. The bitterness came from the hurt, the vengeance came from the anger. My husband and I have always been able to communicate. After your affair, we have been communicating even more. We have come to realize that we are the lucky ones because this has made our marriage stronger. We had two choices. We could either let it destroy us or let it bring us closer together. I am happy to inform you that it was the latter. I have forgiven him, but this by no means indicates that I condoned his (or your) behavior. I realize what he did was morally wrong, but I admire him for finding the inner strength to break the addiction from your charade of a relationship.
Your affair probably started when he gave you the old age line of "not being satisfied at home." Your affair developed because you were trying to win his love and attention despite the fact that he is married. Didn't it bother you to be number two? Didn't you feel that you were the one who was deprived of the fulfillment of a real relationship? You must have put your life on hold for the last three years, waiting for him to call or to see you. You probably had to alter your daily activities to be available for him on the spur of the moment when he had a block of time.
The loser is definitely "the other woman." You are the one bruised by the affair. The married man usually doesn't divorce his wife for "the other woman." And in the event he does get a divorce, it is not "the other woman" he chooses for his second wife. So you would have lost even if he hadn't come back to me.
I am sure you are on an emotional roller coaster that has left you depressed. Having an affair with my husband has retarded your life; not mine. You settled for less for so long. I hope you can pick up the pieces and get on with your life. The three years you spent with my husband can never be recaptured. Perhaps if you had been spending time with someone of your own, you would be married yourself by now. Since that was not the case, I truly hope you will not repeat the pattern of having another affair with another woman's husband.
Because of my husband's infidelity, we are working hard at our marriage. We have to get on with our tomorrows and not look back on the yesterdays of the last three years. I have learned a lot from this ordeal. Because my husband had an affair with you does not indicate that he is not a good husband to me or a good father to our five minor children. The affair has not jeopardized our marriage. Instead, it has enhanced a union that will continue to exist. So do not, for a moment think you are a home wrecker. You did not wreck our home. My husband found himself in time. He has promised to put forth an extra effort to make our marriage work. And I believe him.
Perhaps you have learned several things from this ordeal. The most important lesson you should have learned is that no matter how exciting an affair with a married man is, or how perfect the relationship seems be. . . it rarely lasts!
A Forgiving Wife
P.S. Don't hold your breath waiting for me to let my husband go. I meant my marriage vows when I said them!