Letter FROM An Ex-Husband

Updated on January 16, 2020
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Margaret Minnicks has been an online writer for many years. She writes articles that are interesting to her readers.

This letter is in response to Letter to An Ex-Husband. Please read that letter first.

My Dearest Ex-Wife,

No, I did not throw your letter in the trash. I read it word for word several times. I wept when I realized how much pain and agony I caused you. I remember having done those things, but when I read them in print, it seems like you were talking about somebody else instead of about you and me.

I did value our marriage vows at the time we made them. Somehow I got off track. I saw how you were advancing in your career even though you were taking care of our two beautiful minor children. I didn't know how you did it all, but you did. Instead of complimenting you for it, I lashed out at you in the most horrible ways I could.

I played with your mind. I tried to confuse you by calling you insecure. That was an insecure act on my part to post all those notes around the house with one big word on them that said INSECURE. You must have been devastated to have found so many of them. I made sure I put them where you would see them. They were all over the house, on the bathroom mirror, in the refrigerator, in the silverware drawer and then in your pillowcase when you laid down at night after a long day.

As far as not helping you the night you fell when we were going to our son's school for a PTA meeting, I am truly sorry. I thought you were faking the fall just so I could touch you and pick you up. When I saw the bandage on your ankle and you had to be out of work for three days, I knew you were not pretending. Forgive me. Your ankle has healed, but I'm sure you will remember how I humiliated you in front of other parents that night.

I am sorry for so many things, things you knew about and some things you will never know about. I now realize I had a good thing then, but I chose to give it all up. Even if we weren't getting along well, I wish now we could have settled it in a much more amicable way.

Forgiveness Requested

I apologize for all the mean things I did to you. I wish now I had spared you all the hurts, pains, shame, and humiliation. I turned our mutual friends against you. I almost turned our children against you. I apologize for the things I did. Please forgive me.

I believe I am being punished for the way I treated you because my second marriage is just the reverse of my first one with you. What I did to you, my wife is now doing to me. I guess it is right that "what goes around comes around." I deserve what I am now getting. I brought this on myself. I feel so horrible inside. I can't get any inner peace.

I need for you to forgive me.
I need for God to forgive me.
And I need to forgive myself.

I am not happy in my second marriage. There is no pleasure in my home; in or out of bed. I think that has a lot to do with the way I treated you.

I see that you didn't remarry. Was it because of the way I treated you? Will you always think in the back of your mind that divorce could happen again? Please know that all men are not like I am. There is one out there for you. Also, know that I didn't divorce you because you didn't love me. I divorced you because you loved me too much. You went out of your way to please me, but I couldn't see it at the time. And as macho as I appeared to be, I didn't know how to handle that type of love. Now I miss it. Oh, how I miss it. We can't turn back the hands of time, but if I had it to do all over again, I would not have been so hasty to give up on you and our marriage. I thought I would get something better. I gambled and lost.

Pray for me that I will be able to find peace. I need to feel peace inside because I am so tormented and haunted by the foolish choice I made.

Your Foolish Ex-Husband


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    • Tricky 63 profile image

      Tricky 63 

      8 years ago

      Dear ex wife

      I really had no choice but to read your letter for I feared if I didn’t you anger, bitterness and resentment may interfere in the minds of our children. Your passive aggressive nature (which had always been the fundamentals in our relationship) in thinking I would not read your letter only added to my relief I did the right thing in divorcing you. Do not think for a second I didn’t think about this long and hard, I didn’t want to leave our children, I didn’t want our children to come from a broken home, however the nature of our marriage was not a healthy environment for our children to grow up in, they were living in a broken home. I had to find the courage to end this farce of a marriage for you thought everything was great. I admired you for your determination in your career and taking care of the children, however you have a short memory when it came to child rearing for I too worked fulltime, shopped, cooked, fed, bathed the children, did my fair share of house work so we could have some much needed time alone I was met with rejection and unappreciation

      I knew I had to end things with you after my childish behaviour was affecting both of us for that I take responsibility, however in my defence do you remember the night before you hurt your ankle if not let me remind you. Laying in our bed I wanted to hold you in my arms to show you my love for you, I was greeted with an elbow to my stomach and told you were to tired to engage in any form of intimacy, prior to this you had spend two hours on face book “chatting” to “friends” about your day. Do you recall when the phone rang a few hours later someone needed your help, you jumped out of bed dressed and fled into the night. I was left in our bed alone rejected me your husband the one you vowed on our wedding day to love, I didn’t feel loved.

      You have to admit after a 15 month battle you did not feel relief it was over and we can get on with our own lives. I will endeavour to be the best father I can possibly be to co parent with you so our children can grow in a healthy environment. I will give you the respect you deserve as the mother of my children, I would appreciate it if you could do likewise. Please do not bring my new wife into your anger and bitterness she was not the cause of the breakdown in our marriage, you know that, I know that. It takes two to make a marriage end we are both at fault, we both lacked communication, we both felt we were not there for each other, it was us not a third person who broke this marriage apart.

      I wish you well in all things you do, you have said your peace now please lets get on with our own lives.

      Your former husband.

    • revmjm profile imageAUTHOR

      Margaret Minnicks 

      8 years ago from Richmond, VA

      mariefontaine, thanks for your detailed response.

    • mariefontaine profile image


      8 years ago from Indianapolis, Indiana

      Karma... she can be so sweet at times, can she not? I LOVE this letter. I guess it's the tendency to still rub my hands together with demonic vengeance gleeming in my eyes with regard to men who cheat on their wives. The very same thing happened to my ex-husband... to an extent. He used to say things about my weight and insult me extensively. He was with this other woman until she called me crying about his cheating. What she wanted from me, I have no clue. I responded with "I told you the day I put him out to come get him, that he was your headache now. I was his wife and birthed a child for him. What on EARTH made you think he wouldn't do it to you?" Karma: He screwed her over financially, she ended up living with him in his mother's trailer where they displayed daily how much they despised her, and she gained approximately 150 pounds...at least. He has lost at least 10 jobs since as well, mostly due to sexual harassment allegations. I can sure pick 'em huh? :) I have enjoyed reading your work...thank you

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Your welcome=]

    • revmjm profile imageAUTHOR

      Margaret Minnicks 

      9 years ago from Richmond, VA

      MegaFox5 and Phoebe Pike, I am gong to consult you the next time I write a series of fictional letters so I can add your great input. Thanks for reading and responding.

    • profile image

      Phoebe Pike 

      9 years ago

      Honestly, if I were the woman, I don't know if I could have ever written anything back except, "I forgive you, but that is all I can give you now, forgiveness." (Judging from the other letter).

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Even though he apologized to you countless times, he still acted pretty awful towards you. Is there room for forgiveness in your heart? In this case, I doubt it because my boyfriend did something so horrible that almost ruined our relationship. To this day, I still sort of hate him but I love him more than hate.


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