I am a mom, grandma, wife, and a high school Algebra teacher. I love teaching Algebra, because I like making it understandable.
She was a sheltered girl. A bookish, shy, rose-tinted glasses type of girl. She read the stories that told of happily ever after. She had the perfect plan: Go to college, become a teacher, marry a good, godly man, have children, stay home and be a mom when they were young and work later.
She did well at school, worked hard, went to church and did no partying. She was sheltered in a life where everything was okay in the world. Nothing dreadful happens, nothing dreadful is expected.
Bookworm that she is, she applies for a job at a Christian bookstore. She likes to get lost in Christian fiction. Why not work wherever the books live?
Studying to be a teacher, working at a Christian bookstore, and dreaming of what life would bring her.
Forever Coming True?
While she was working at the Christian bookstore, she met this guy. He laughed at her jokes. He was nerdy like her. He went to church. He said the right stuff. Time went by. He asked her on a date. She accepted. Several dates in, she thinks he might be the one. Life was working out for her.
They were young and seemingly in love. The girl fell in love with him. Her life is now feeling full and hopeful. They began planning their future together. The families came together. The first children married in the two families.
They were married, started having children. The sheltered, bookish girl felt all was not quite right. Some things just were not adding up.
She did not feel that her husband found her attractive. He seemed very unhappy. He belittled and scorned her. She worked hard to make him happy to no avail. He seemed to always be searching for happiness in things, places and friends. He was not content with her. She struggled to feel that she was enough.
They had two, beautiful, children. The man continued to become more distant and more unhappy despite the "picture perfect" life. He turned to any and everything that might offer a glimpse of possible happiness as fleeting as it may have been.
They "had it all" a home of their own, two healthy children, a well paying job, families that loved them, and a wife that was faithful to him.
Still, he was not happy.
Curtain Falls Away
Their daughter was two years old. Their son was eight months old. He calls and tells her he needs to talk to her.
He tells her he used to question if he was straight or gay. He tells her that he had been with men. He tells her he hooked up with a married man. He tells her that he is not who he portrayed himself to be.
Her world falls apart. Her home, the very foundation of her marriage crumbles with the words he shares. She was right. She was not attractive to him. Not because she was ugly, but because he was not attracted to women. He was living a life that was a lie. He stole her innocence. He stole her dreams. He skewed her view of what life could be.
She had trusted him to be who he said he was. She had given herself to him and pledged her life to him. She had done so to an image of a person that he had created. He was not who he pretended to be.
He is not happy with her. She is not what he wants. She is not enough for him. He was an actor. He pretended to be a man that could be her everything. He pretended to be what she envisioned and desired for a life long partner. His act did not hold. His act was done. He was not happy. He would not pretend any longer.
She leaves him.
She is left without a clue as to who or what her value as a person is. Was she so pathetic that he would use her to create a fake life to please his family. A pawn to be played to fulfill a portrait of a life he would never have. Was she a tool to be used and then thrown aside when he did not need to pretend any longer.
How could she believe what she saw ever again. How could she trust. How could she believe that someone was who they say they were. How can she know that a person is true, sincere and honest. How would she even begin to trust again?
© 2022 April McMichael