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I'd Be Fine

Amani is a university student who loves writing. I have been writing since I was twelve. I love writing.

id-be-fine

Lately I hate the way things don't work out the way I want them to.
I hate it when I have to watch someone leave while in my heart I really want them to stick around a little bit longer.

I hate it even more when the start not noticing my presence. I hate it when they find new friends that make them forget all about me..

. I hate it when I try to remind them about the good old times when we were inseparable, but it don't ring to them anymore... I hate it when we just not clicking like we used to.

I hate it when I realise am no longer important like I used to be...
.
.
Am really jealous when it comes to friends.
I simply don't wanna see you smile if it's not because of me.
I don't wanna see you laugh unless it's something funny or stupid have said.
I don't wanna see you hold hands with someone else because that really breaks my heart.
But I wanna see you happy, having the time of your life even if am not in it.
.
Am okay if these new friends are funnier than I ever was, am okay if they hold your hand tighter, am okay if they hug you better. Am okay if they make you happier, am okay if they take you out more often than I did.. Am okay if it's fine by you.. Am okay
Am okay if it's what you want..
..Am okay.
.
But I'd be fine if you check up on me every once in a while. I'd be fine if you just pass by and hug me at least once in a day.. I'd be fine if you held my hand once in a while and told me that you haven't completely forgotten the crazy things that defined us.
I'd be okay if you tell me that my portion in your heart is still intact...
I'd be fine if you text me everyday tell me you miss me.
I'd be fine.
.
I'd be fine if you say to me that am not completely forgotten...
...
I'd be fine if we still get time to hang out, even if it's not as much as we used to.

I'd be fine if we could just start all over and pretend we just met for the first time.
...
.

© 2019 Amani Utembu

Comments

Amani Utembu (author) from Nairobi -Kenya on April 22, 2019:

Thanks Brenda...

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on April 21, 2019:

Wanting to have her heart again just like the first time you met...awesome work