Skip to main content

I Have to Be a Good Doctor

Doctor, Please save him! I am his only family. I couldn't breathe as I tried speaking to the doctor. My mind went blank.


Chapter 1

Doctor, Please save him! I am his only family. I couldn’t breathe as I tried speaking to the doctor. My mind went blank. I was just moving hither and thither madly with my hands and clothes all stained in blood. I was feeling choked up, beads of sweat tickled down my forehead. I couldn’t control my emotions anymore. I was about to burst. But I had to control myself. I felt numb at that moment. I was helpless. Images of that accident played in front of my eyes, like a movie. It was scary as hell. I was crestfallen. I ran again towards doctor and asked him,” Please save him at any cost. He is my best friend. It is all my fault. No! No! He can’t die like this. He has to live doctor! He has to see his best friend being a footballer.” Doctor tried to calm me down. But the fear of losing him got into my head so badly, I got fainted.

When I opened my eyes, I was in a bed. Where is Ryan? Doctor is he fine? I need to see him. Why did you keep me here? I can’t leave him alone, Doctor. He must be scared. I tried to move out from there. A Nurse stopped me. Listen Sam! No Nurse, I have to go, I have to go, I have to! Sam! Sam! No more speaking Sam! Listen to me! Ryan is no more.

Chapter 2

Ryan is no more. These words shattered my world. I couldn’t hold on my emotions. I bursted, and sobbed out loudly. Nurse handled me, but I couldn’t bear the pain. On seeing his body laid out, others were ululating while I didn’t know when I blacked out.

Ryan and I, were neighbors, and best friends. We grew up together, in Kathmandu. Our parents were best friends. We were a family. We were very mischievous from our childhood. We used to leave house early morning at 8 and then return at around 2/3 in the noon. Both of us would blame each other and then escape the scoldings. We did this always. Maybe our parents acted they didn’t know this. But they knew the truth. We would get elated on lying. And our parents would get gladdened on we smiling.

One early morning, Ryan and I went out as usual. Ryan’s parents had some works. So, they had to leave him to us. As usual, we returned home late. The scenes out there were completely different. Ryan’s parents’ dead bodies laid there. While others stood helpless. I immediately hold Ryan. By that time, we were already at our 18s. We understood things. Ryan didn’t cry. He knew his parents were fighters. His parents didn’t like tears on his eyes. Ryan saluted his parents on getting martyred. He was proud of his parents. He had no one else, and I couldn’t leave him alone. Nor could my parents. Ryan started living with us.

Days passed by, Ryan and I were in Bachelors. I had a Duke Bike. And Ryan had his own. But that day, I opted to just ride mine. Ryan agreed to that after I promised him a lunch that day from my pocket money.

At that moment of time
Ryan: Where are we going?
Me: Just hold me tight. We are leaving for Nagarkot.
Ryan: We could have brought my bike too.
Me: No; We have to leave one, in case this gets broken. We can ride that. I laughed.
Ryan: What are you talking of?
Me: I am taking you to your college, Ryan. You must have missed it.
Ryan: NAIHS, why didn’t you tell me earlier?
Me: I wanted to surprise you.

Just as I was about to make a turn, a car hit us.
I blacked out for a moment. On waking up, I saw Ryan all in blood. Ryan, Ryan, I shouted. But my Ryan, who would never say no to me didn’t speak up. I pleaded out there for help! A tall, bearded man helped me. He helped me take Ryan to Hospital.

At T.U. Hospital,
Nurses hurried as Ryan laid in a stretcher. I was begging Please God! Grant his Life. And punish me, instead . Its all my fault. I had a hope doctors would save him. He often talked of doctors. He was studying MBBS from NAIHS. So, I had confidence of getting Ryan back. I numbed.

Wake up! Wake up! Sam! You need to sign the papers. On hearing this, I got back to my senses. With a heavy heart, I signed papers.

I had lost my best friend. He had dreams to pursue. He had dreams to build a house on his own, have his own family. He had dreams to make his and my parents proud. He had dream to see me play for National Team, sign contract papers with the Team. But there I signed his Death Certificate. Thinking all this, I fell asleep in my mother’s lap. I was murmuring…..

Chapter 3

I was murmuring Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. I found peace momentarily when I fell asleep in my mom’s lap. When I opened my eyes, we were already in a cremation House. They slowly brought his body out. There laid many bodies, some children, some teenagers, some adults, some mid aged ones and some old aged ones. Ryan, with whom I spent my entire childhood, with whom I shared my feelings, my lunch, everything ; was no more. I felt really helpless. Had it been possible I would have shared death too. I would have died with him. Sorry! Ryan, I couldn’t share death with you. I cried my heart out. But I had to be strong, I somehow stood upon my feet and I had to be the one to perform his rituals. I maybe wasn’t related to Ryan by bloodline. But does it even matter? He was, is and will always be my brother.

I tried moving. But my feet jammed, my hands were trembling as I hold a burning wood. Many thoughts came across my mind; memories hit me hard. I remembered the times when we danced to the off beats, when we dined together, when we read together, when we fought, when we went to long drive, when we apologized to parents, when we stayed late nights for football matches; everything. But one thing hit me hard. It struck me. I saw many dead bodies cremated. I thought of those dreams they had, the desire to do something, that burned with them. I could think of nothing but faces of those parents, brothers, sisters, friends, relatives, who stood there. My heart ached on that as I looked at Ryan for the final time.

I laid down the burning wood. And in moments, Ryan turned to ashes. As I walked up, I spoke to his ashes; Farewell brother! I will live your dream. I will be a doctor; a good doctor. I vowed to not let any more Ryan to die that way. I promised to myself I will not let a parent get deprived of his children, a brother/ sister deprived of their brother/ sister, a child of his parents.

10 years Later,

The same exact place, I saw a guy pleading for help. It struck me hard. I couldn’t let another Ryan die. I called ambulance and hurried him to T.U. Hospital as soon as I could.

At T.U. Hospital,
I was praying as doctors operated in Operation Theatres.

At Operation Theatre,
Doctors, nurses hurried. Nurse gave doctor scissors, and necessary equipments to perform the operation. Blood spilled all over his apron, his face ; but it didn’t matter to him. Beads of sweat tickling all over his face, cheeks, tiresome hands, legs; yet Nurse aided doctor and doctor performed his duty. They had only one thing in mind; They had to save a Life.

After Operation,
The red light turned off. Doctors and Nurses came out. I could see the tired faces yet happy ones. Doctor gently came up to me and said,” Relax Dr! He is fine.”

I felt relieved. I couldn’t even explain how much happy I was. I just smiled at his friend waiting outside for him.

As I moved out, I felt proud of every doctors and nurses dedicated to their profession. I had one thing in mind ,"I have to be a good Doctor."

© 2020 Samip Katwal

Related Articles