How the Grynch Stole Everything!

Updated on September 23, 2016
Larry Rankin profile image

Larry Rankin is among the millions of hardworking denizens of the world disillusioned by the abuses of the ultra-wealthy.


Every Not

Down in Not-ville

Liked living a lot…


But the Grynch,

As to the Not’s living,

Did NOT!

The Grynch found Not-ville and the whole Not-ville reason

Of helping no matter the season displeasing.

It could be that his brains were battered and broke.

It could be, maybe, that his breath smelled when he spoke.

But no, that wasn’t the reason to call.

The problem, you see, is he had no heart at all.



Regardless the reason,

His heart or his breath,

He stood on his stoop thinking of torture and death.

Staring down from his mansion with a grimace and growl

At the meek life of the Nots in their little town.

For he knew every Not down in Not-ville below

Was busy being happy with little at all.

“And just look at them grabbing their food stamps!” he lashed.

“They are looking for handouts, stealing my cash!

“To waste on food and clothes, it just isn’t funny!

“There simply MUST be some way to take ALL the money!”


If he didn’t, he knew…


…All the Not children from Timbukone to Timbuktu

Would grow up feeling just like they MATTERED, too,

And then oh how fate would whirl and twirl!

They might elect a NEGRO, or even worse, a GIRL!


Then the Nots, young and old, would sit down in peace.

Not scared in the least!

And there’d be PEACE!




Calm people don’t buy things to keep rich folks wealthy.

They don’t shoot each other. It just isn’t healthy!


And THEN he imagined

There’d be a thing

That just wasn’t right!

Every Not down in Not-ville, the dark and light,

Would decide they were equally worthy of caring,

And kill precious money by all just sharing!

They’d share! And they’d share!


And the more the Grynch thought of this Not-love-fest,

The more the Grynch thought, “I simply MUST stop this!

Why for twelve generations my family’s been rich!

For all remembrance it’s been our ass you kiss!

…But what happens when rich isn’t RICH?”


Then the Grynch had a thought!

A terrible thought!




“Here’s what I’ll do!” He screeched as he expelled some gas.

“I’ll just stroll down the hill dressed in faux worker class.

“And convince the Nots their neighbor’s sloth is to blame

For all of life’s injustice, frustration, and pain.”


“I’ll need a hard hat,” Thought the Grynch.

“And some Godly line…?

“‘People who help one another hate God!’ Yes, divine!”

Though actually a phrase

That didn’t work a bit,

He’d say it and say it until that dumb slogan fit!

He’d put it on coasters and toasters and guns!

He would even slip it into Cosby reruns!



He loaded tubs

With free stuff sporting his brand,

And for some bizarre reason,

Some books by Ayn Rand!

Then the Grynch jumped in

His behemoth Range Rover,

And down he sped

To see how his scheme would go over.


The Nots were skeptics, and said as much aloud,

But they were outdone by the plants in the crowd

Who were paid each a shilling to back the Grynch proud.

With deep pockets and a cross around his neck,

The Grynch thought to himself, “This job should be quick.”


And while the Nots began to hate all their neighbors,

The Grynch bought Congress with hookers and party favors.

Slowed only once by a Senator with virtue true,

Until that sly Grynch exposed this man as a Jew.

“My taxes will go first,” the Grynch said with a laugh.

And now when the levees break folks just takes a bath.


No healthcare, schools, or good roads, what a problem to spin,

But the Grynch swayed the people it was their fault again.

And the Nots went hungry while the Grynch was sated.

So the Nots robbed each other. They killed and berated

For silly things like beliefs and orientation,

While the Grynch just watched on in anticipation.


He watched as neighbors died of third world diseases!

He laughed as he heard their wheezes and sneezes!

He took all that comprised Not civility and ease.

Why, that Grynch even disposed of their government cheese!


He took that for which the Nots had struggled and strived.

“And NOW!” the Grynch howled, “They’ll wish they were not alive!”


It was at a foreclosure, a thing the Grynch loved,

When he was startled by the gentle voice of a dove.

He turned around fast, to a child sickly and weak.

It was Niecy-Know Not, just old enough to speak.

The Grynch grinned to see this Not family’s daughter,

As he readied himself to go for the slaughter.

And in a hollow voice, she said, “But Grynch, sir, why,

Why did you let my whole family die? WHY?”


But you know that Grynch, so slithery and cunning,

He thought up a meanness that struck him as funny!

“Why is it my fault your folks were lazy and dumb?

“Why is it my fault your little fingers are numb?

“Your parents died because they didn’t love you enough

“To do all the things so you would have enough stuff!”

And little Niecy-Know Not,

sick with lice on her head,

Went and lay by her family to share their deathbed.

And the Grynch, often too busy to enjoy such things,

Watched Niecy drift away with her parents and siblings.


Then the Grynch sighed,

“If only I could take their souls!”

HE imagined gathering them all up into a bowl,

To eat with a side of port and a yeasty yeast roll.

And leaving that house,

Still in a wonderful cheer,

He thought, “Why, I must be Businessman of the Year!”



He did the same thing

To other Not houses

Leaving the dead

As food

For all the Not mouses!


And at just past light…

All Nots far too hungry for bed,

All Nots were instead quietly

Counting their dead,

While the Grynch counted his coins! His cash! His house keys!

And of course he counted his government cheese!


The Grynch watched his profits soar up! Up like a bird,

But underneath there was resistance to be heard!

A grumbling from those not quite yet starved out

Who still had the courage and strength left to doubt

“I hear them whining!” the Grynch said with a fright.

“I hear them blaming me in groups of the Night!

“Some Nots down in Not-ville are still BURNING BRIGHT!”


“That’s a noise,” growled the Grynch,

“That I MUST investigate!

“That I MUST stop before it is simply too late!”

And he used all his influence and money, you see,

To find out just where their peaceful protest would be…


The Grynch found out where!

Why, how this made him merry!

Then he hired

The whole Not Military!

He stared down at the Not-protest!

His eyes scanned the scene!

The Grynch gave a signal!

And the crowd, oh how they screamed!


Every Not in Not-protest, the bony and weak,

Were riddled with bullets before they could speak.

The Nots COULDN’T stop the Grynch, no not at all!


And somehow he had conquered them, one and all!


And a tired, lonely Not, cast out in the cold

Would wonder not long, because he wouldn’t grow old.

“How did the Grynch take our freedom? Our good will?

“How’d he take all our money while we paid the bill?”

And he wondered for hours, till his wonderer was broke.

Then he had one final laugh at this big cosmic joke!

“The Grynch,” he thought, “is the nastiest thing you’ll ever see.

“And as a result, he’ll always beat you and me!”


And what happened then…?

Well…in Not-ville they say

That the Grynch’s ego

Grew ten sizes that day!

And as soon as his head didn’t feel quite so light,

He found himself a crown and a robe purple, bright

And declared himself king of the NORTH, SOUTH, WEST, and EAST!

And the people…



All hail the Grynch! All hail the beast!


Do you feel like your voice is heard?

See results

Questions & Answers


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      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        12 months ago from Oklahoma

        Did everything myself, including the art. Was the most difficult think I ever did. Makes me happy when people get some enjoyment out of it.

      • profile image

        Linda Robinson 

        12 months ago

        Good Morning Larry. I really enjoyed the cartoon and all the interesting fun content. Very different, I loved it, so well done. Did you also do all the drawings? A terrific and informative read. Take care.

      • johnmariow profile image

        John Gentile 

        15 months ago from Connecticut

        Not the ending I was hoping for. Yet it was a very entertaining. Great Poetry!

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        17 months ago from Oklahoma

        Matty: glad you enjoyed it:-)

      • Matty Fernandez profile image

        Matty Fernandez 

        17 months ago from Passaic, NJ

        Loved it!

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        23 months ago from Oklahoma

        Jo: Me too. Didn't want to be prophetic.

        Thanks so much for your viewership.

      • jo miller profile image

        Jo Miller 

        23 months ago from Tennessee

        I would have thought this brilliant, funny a few weeks ago. But the election happened. Now I just find it depressing.

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        2 years ago from Oklahoma

        Cynthia: thanks for such a kind write up:-)

      • cclitgirl profile image

        Cynthia Calhoun 

        2 years ago from Western NC

        What an amazing, brilliant piece! And to think, all those fables we heard as kids - we're illustrating exactly what not to do. I love how you pull in all the themes from current events and weave them into a tale that we all need to read as a bedtime story to remember our humanity....

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        2 years ago from Oklahoma

        Jo Lim: thanks for the feedback.

      • Jo Lim profile image

        Jo Lim 

        2 years ago

        Great illustration and nice tale. Thumbs up for the hard work. Be crazy at least once in your lifetime, so you will never regret =)

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        2 years ago from Oklahoma

        I try to do something. I hope I'm crazy.

      • UnnamedHarald profile image

        David Hunt 

        2 years ago from Cedar Rapids, Iowa

        Wow. I know things looked bad when you first published this, but the national and global situations keep getting worse. Terrific, thought-provoking and plenty of clever poetry.

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        2 years ago from Oklahoma

        Thanks so much for the kind words.

      • Rabadi profile image

        2 years ago from New York

        Fun illustrations that's what got me! And the Grinch has always been one of my favorite characters, I enjoyed this hub :) Keep them coming!


      • Gcrhoads64 profile image

        Gable Rhoads 

        2 years ago from North Dakota


        I was going to ask if you had made an e-book, but others beat me to it.

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        2 years ago from Oklahoma

        Kylyssa: I love your review. So kind. Too kined. Thank you:-)

      • Kylyssa profile image

        Kylyssa Shay 

        2 years ago from Overlooking a meadow near Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA

        I love the satire mixed with Seussian rhyme. You've captured that children's storybook feel with the illustrations, which makes the whole thing more dark and sinister. Well done.

      • Nadine May profile image

        Nadine May 

        2 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

        You do have a gift with words Larry

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        2 years ago from Oklahoma

        Road Monkey: thanks so much for chiming in. Glad you found it of interest.

      • RoadMonkey profile image


        2 years ago

        Very good satire. I enjoyed it, unfortunately.

        I just hope there are not enough left to buy his "stuff"

        and then that old grynch will no longer have enough!

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        2 years ago from Oklahoma

        Peony: thanks so much for the positive feedback. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

      • P FOR PEONY profile image


        2 years ago

        I loved this from start to finish, wonderfully sardonic. Aaand I also like the illustrations (I majored in Illustration at art school, ha!), I personally find the sketchy style actually complimentary of the writing!

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        2 years ago from Oklahoma

        Reynold: thanks so much for the feedback.

      • Reynold Jay profile image

        Reynold Jay 

        2 years ago from Saginaw, Michigan

        You did a lot of work with the art too, Larry. It is a great way to put across your message. I have a Dr. Seuss 3D movie that surprised me that it was full of messages ( like yours) Well done.

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Gilbert: thanks so much for the kind words and the follow.

      • rebelogilbert profile image

        Gilbert Arevalo 

        3 years ago from Hacienda Heights, California

        I loved your wonderful illustrations and your take on the Grinch is hilarious.

      • sujaya venkatesh profile image

        sujaya venkatesh 

        3 years ago

        what pics for Grynch

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Joan: I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

      • Joan King profile image

        Joan King 

        3 years ago

        I enjoyed reading your take on the Grinch and the beautiful illustrations

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Flourish Anyway: thanks for the thoughtful comments.

      • FlourishAnyway profile image


        3 years ago from USA

        Wow! From those references to Ayn Rand to the horror of electing a girl, this is outta this world creative!

      • peachpurple profile image


        3 years ago from Home Sweet Home

        i love your drawings very artistic

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Rebecca: So glad you enjoyed it.

      • rebeccamealey profile image

        Rebecca Mealey 

        3 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

        How creative! A great piece of work. I am sure Theodor Seuss Geisel would approve wholeheartedly!

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Bobby: would Animal Farm be a better book with a happy ending?;-)

        Thanks for dropping by. I'm always glad to hear from you.

      • the rawspirit profile image

        Robert Morgan 

        3 years ago from Hutchinson Island, FL - Myrtle Beach, SC - Scottsdale AZ

        Hi, Larry, Ok, what happened to the happy ending? Maybe you could write another version with a happy ending, lol. I love your graphics, and you are an excellent storyteller and excellent hub. Best to you, Bobby.

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Deb: it would have been a good idea to make him look like the Donald, and he would have been easy to caricature, especially with that ridiculous "hair."

        How do I say this? My official stance is the same as Hollywood's: any resemblance between my character and peoples living or deceased is purely coincidental.

        On an unrelated not, There are people that are even worse than Donald Trump that a person might do a composite caricature of in a story like this.

        On another unrelated note, it is a fairly common practice in satire to leave clues as to who you are satirizing in the artwork, rather than come out and say who they are.

      • aviannovice profile image

        Deb Hirt 

        3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

        This will be reality if Donald Trump becomes President. Perhaps you should make your Grynch look like him.

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Jackie: thanks. You're too kind.

      • Jackie Lynnley profile image

        Jackie Lynnley 

        3 years ago from The Beautiful South

        I agree with John; a wonderful story and as an artist you top it right off!

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Say Yes to Life: thanks for the kind words.

      • Say Yes To Life profile image

        Yoleen Lucas 

        3 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

        Very clever!

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Just the Messenger: thanks for the thoughtful comments.

      • justthemessenger profile image

        James C Moore 

        3 years ago from The Great Midwest

        This should be required reading for all those who blame their problems on everyone who don't look like or think like them.

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Alicia: thanks so much for the positive feedback. It is always such a pleasure when you drop by.

      • AliciaC profile image

        Linda Crampton 

        3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

        This is an awesome hub, Larry! I love the poem and the art. I agree with Bill - this is my favourite hub of yours out of all the ones that I've read so far. You are very creative and have put a lot of work into this hub. I'll share it on Facebook.

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Shyron: thanks so much for the kind words. I'm always glad to help any way I can.

      • Shyron E Shenko profile image

        Shyron E Shenko 

        3 years ago from Texas

        Larry, I love your book, I will be back, you have given me an idea for drawing a child’s book for my great grand kids. I wish you could draw me some time to work on it.

        Voted up, UABI and shared

        Blessings my friend

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Mel: thanks so much for the positive feedback. I always value your opinion.

      • Mel Carriere profile image

        Mel Carriere 

        3 years ago from San Diego California

        You just condensed the entire history of the United States in this brilliant little parody of the Grinch, but without a happy ending. No happy Whos holding hands and singing on Christmas morning. I applaud you for your great poem and brilliant artwork. Great hub!

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Temptor: wonderful comment.

        I don't want people to think I believe things have to turn out badly. In the long run the people actually always win. But things can sure get ugly before we do. I would like to avoid that.

      • profile image


        3 years ago

        What a beautiful parody, and your illustrations are awesome!

        Though we look for happy endings, the truth is that the bad guys win far too often. Our society is ruled by the pseudo-psychos who create chaos to benefit from it. Great writing!

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Miz Bejabbers: I always appreciate your comments. The healthcare issue is a great example of a thing the masses are duped into being scared of. I get so disgusted with people only supporting things that help them at the moment. Affordable healthcare programs have worked in pretty much every country they've been implemented in, but certain powers do everything they can to try to make it look like they won't work here.

      • MizBejabbers profile image

        Doris James-MizBejabbers 

        3 years ago from Beautiful South

        Larry, this is a great parody of today's society. It is funny, but the underlying tale is not funny. Our society is being herded like sheep into Not-ville. I see sheeple saying daily in our newspaper about how horrible our government is because it is trying to help people (especially the Affordable Care Act). These same people who are benefiting from the handouts are biting the hand that is feeding them. What will they do when they've bitten the hand off?

        Your illustrations are great, and I agree with the other commentators about this piece. You wouldn't want the illustrations perfect. Voted up++

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Dr. BJ: thanks so much for the positive feedback.

      • drbj profile image

        drbj and sherry 

        3 years ago from south Florida

        Extraordinarily creative piece, Larry, which tragically may reflect today's world. This one had to take a lotta time and effort. Your illustration (#2) of the Grynch is great.

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Art Diva: thanks so much for the kind words.

        I would love to publish, and it would take collaboration. I hope my artwork is fun and entertaining, but I don't even pretend to be a professional. Would be fun to see how an actual artist could improve and extend my artistic interpretations of the story.

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Bill: I'm glad you thought a lot of it. It was way more of an undertaking than I thought it would be. It started as an idea to satirize the the wealthy elite in a parody of Dr. Seuss's Grinch tale. It ended a few months later having driven myself half insane trying to get all the details right:-)

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Mary: such a wonderful compliment. Whenever you can catch people's attention enough to get them to read more than once, it is a good feeling.

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Fat Boy Thin: thanks so much for the feedback.

      • profile image


        3 years ago

        Larry, This is so wonderfully creative, and so well versed. You should look into publication, collaborate with an illustrator, sometimes matched up by the publisher.

      • billybuc profile image

        Bill Holland 

        3 years ago from Olympia, WA

        This is a thing of beauty, Larry! Your best work to date and a joy to read. This is what writing is all about.

      • mary615 profile image

        Mary Hyatt 

        3 years ago from Florida

        I am just speechless at your masterpiece!! I read it three times from start to finish. Will share here and other places, too.

        Voted UP, etc. What talent you have; not only for the drawings, but for the moral of the whole story. Thanks!

      • FatBoyThin profile image

        Colin Garrow 

        3 years ago from Kinneff, Scotland

        Wonderfully Not-funny, Not-witty and especially Not-clever. What I'd call a Not-Great Hub.

        But seriously:

        Well done, Mr L

        A fun-loving tale

        Of Not-folk and Grinches

        And a moral - all hail!

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Buildreps: thanks for the positive feedback.

      • Buildreps profile image


        3 years ago from Europe

        A true masterpiece, Larry! You certainly have talents. Maybe the bad guy can turn into a good guy again? To make a happy ending?

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Jodah: thanks for the information.

      • Jodah profile image

        John Hansen 

        3 years ago from Queensland Australia

        I am sure the story would do very well. It could be worth your while to investigate hiring an artist to illustrate it. Check out "fiverr , you may be surprised at the price you can get one for there. I can draw but Illustrating a whole story book is just a bit beyond my scope. Good luck.

      • Larry Rankin profile imageAUTHOR

        Larry Rankin 

        3 years ago from Oklahoma

        Jodah: I put it together in picture book form, but no, it hasn't been published. Put a lot of time into it. I'm not an artist, so even getting things to look somewhat passable was a great struggle.

        I'm glad you enjoyed it. I went with the sad ending, because the bad guys so often seem to win.

        Thanks so much for the thoughtful comments.

      • Jodah profile image

        John Hansen 

        3 years ago from Queensland Australia

        Wow what a great tale Larry. I was waiting for a happy ending where the "nots" overcame the Grynch but it didn't happen. There is sadly a close comparison with our society today and we need to all take a stand so our voices will be heard by our Governments. Voted up. Have you published this as a book?


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