Flash Fiction: Who Is This Nearly Naked Adonis?
Now That's a Sight for Sore Eyes!
He walks fast down Markham Street from the direction of the Salvation Army headquarters. You know, where the homeless eat and sometimes sleep. His bright orange Nikes could be a sign of the homeless, given to him by a charitable organization, but his buzz cut sun-bleached hair says he is not. The homeless can’t afford buzz cuts. Their shaggy unkempt hair usually gives them away. There’s some other stuff about him that adds to his being out of place.
His posture is proudly erect, and his naked tan muscular shoulders almost rival Arnie in his heyday. He wears light beige Bermudas that show his lean tanned legs, and on his back he carries a camouflage backpack. He is stylishly sock-less. Nope, he ain’t no homeless, and it is unlikely that he blew into town on a train. There's no gym around, so he can't be headed there.
This is one helluva looker, if you ladies know what I mean. Hollywood, eat your heart out!
The Amtrack Station is at the dead end of the street in the direction at his back. It’s highly unlikely that he came in on a train shirtless. In fact, he looks as cool and fresh on this 88 degree morning as if he just stepped out of an air conditioned car. Now I’m really curious. Let’s follow him and see if we can find out where he is going.
John Wayne Can't Hold a Candle to Our Guy!
He keeps up the fast pace for a couple more blocks; this isn’t easy going keepin’ up with him, you know. He turns into an alley. Hmmm, let’s enter cautiously now. Driving slowly. Very suspicious like, our subject approaches an old car, a faded dark blue sedan with a few dents. Wait, he is unlocking it. He slips off his bermudas to reveal short red swim trunks. He gets in and drives off. Glad I didn’t get out of my car to follow him. I take off behind him, staying just a few cars behind.
Gotta make the traffic lights and don’t lose him. Whew, success! Now we’re driving down Interstate 30. After a couple of miles, he turns to the left and merges onto Interstate 40. I drop back farther behind so as not to be suspicious. Four more miles, and he’s doing 70 in a 65 mph zone. Now he’s taking the Crystal Hill Exit. Hey, that’s the exit to my house, I’m sure gonna follow him now to see what he’s up to in my neighborhood.
I don’t get very far because he pulls his car in behind the Exxon station on the left side of the road. Naked except for his red swim shorts and orange sneakers, he gets out of the car carrying the camouflage backpack and walks out to the knoll beside the overpass. By now I’m parked in the lot of that station behind a Crape Myrtle. I observe him put down his pack and kneel beside it. He pulls out a super-sized plastic cup from Sonic.
I’m expecting him to bring out a canteen and pour himself a drink, but whaaat! He pulls out a black handgun and hides it in the cup. Then he stands up leaving his pack on the ground, looking every inch a hitchhiker. A hitchhiker who points his cup with the gun in it at the first approaching car.
OMG, I get it now! I’ve seen his kind before. Watch out for him, he’s dangerous! Try your best to avoid Cpl. Bill Williams, distinguished Afghanistan war veteran and present radar gunner for the state police. Adonis disguised as a hitchhiker, he’ll get you. You will pay!
Except This Wasn't No Chick in Shorts!
What Would You think?
If you saw a guy in short red swim trunks on the side of the road pointing a cup at cars.
© 2018 Doris James MizBejabbers