Flash Fiction: Good Socks go to Heaven

Updated on January 16, 2018
MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers has been a professional writer/editor for all of her adult life. Before that, she was just a little girl storyteller.

Source

Orphaned socks in the laundry

“Where do those socks go?” Mama said as she glared at the two orphaned socks in her hand.

“Mama, good socks go to heaven.” Six-year-old Lewis piped up. He was standing in the laundry room door.

“Lewis, now where did you get such an idea?” Mama laughed.

“Tompaul told me.” Tompaul was Lewis imaginary friend.

Now Mama scowled. She had discussed Lewis’ imaginary friend, Tompaul, several times with Lewis, but he still maintained that his friend existed and came to play with him in his room every day. Mama had hoped that Lewis would soon outgrow this childish nonsense, and she had decided to play along, “And how many of those friends that I can’t see do you have?”

He had assured Mama that there was only one friend, whose name was Tompaul, and he wondered why Mama couldn’t see him because he could. “He’s a little boy like me, but he has blond curly hair, not red, and blue eyes.”

“They fly right up to heaven, huh, kind of like the Rapture?” Lewis remembered that the preacher said that good souls would be raptured up, leaving their mates behind. "Kind of like that except it’s socks, not people?”

“Exactly,” Lewis smiled enthusiastically. “Tompaul says the sock must be a very good one to go to heaven, so those aren’t good socks in your hand. Just throw those away.”

Big talk from a six-year-old, Mama thought as she placed the stray socks in what she called her “holding bag.” “Hoping bag” was more like it, she thought, because none of the family’s missing socks had ever reappeared. But his silly explanation sounded as reasonable as anything else. Today she had carefully counted five matching pairs as she placed them in the washer. She had reclaimed three matching pairs and two strays. This was getting frustrating. Very frustrating.

Source

Two matching pairs of eyes watched them

Two identical little spirits watched them from the hallway. They carefully stood in the shadows because Lewis would have been able to see them and hear their giggles if they came too close. “We did it up good this time, didn’t we, Tompaul? Smart thing telling the kid that good socks go to Heaven. We upset Mama good!”

“Sure thing, Jonpaul.” Jonpaul was Tompaul’s twin brother, same blond hair. “It was a very good idea for you to hide while I made friends and played with the kid. I can’t wait until next wash day. I heard Mama say that there would be six pairs of socks next week, brand new ones to add to our collection. I can hardly wait. Mama will be so mad!”

"Oh, goody," the brothers laughed.

Why I wrote this story

Okay, so it's a silly piece of childish nonsense, so why did I waste my time writing it? It is based on one of my ridiculous true-life experiences, that's why. I was sitting on the bed sorting and rolling my socks when I discovered two more sock orphans. I keep my socks in a drawer built into the platform beneath my bed. I reached into the drawer and pulled out the handful of orphans I keep in the drawer. Sorting through them, I found to my chagrin that there were no mates there either, although some of them were holdover orphans from last winter and maybe even the winter before.

Frustrated I pouted a silly, "Now where do those socks go? I never find them. It's like they've been raptured up!" Raptured up, socks? How ridiculous is that? Wait, there's a story in there, I thought, and I just had to write it. So I with my muse prodding my posterior with a Mary Poppins' umbrella, you know, the muse who looks like Johnny Depp and talks like Keith Richards, I began to write the conversation using the idea of the imaginary friend. I'm not sure how I had planned to end the story, but half way into the conversation between Lewis and his mother, the idea of the twin brother came tumbling out of the umbrella. Everything flowed like water from there. When I finished and read what I had written, I almost hit the delete button. Then I began to think about making it into a children's story. Maybe I will yet.

I also got to thinking how futile the whole sock situation was to us who do the family laundry. I procured some soft nylon net bags, one for my white athletic socks and one for dark colors, mainly black. Each time I remove a pair of socks, I make sure that both pieces of the pair go into one bag or the other. When it comes time to wash, I place the securely zipped bag in with the appropriate color of laundry. So far I haven't lost a single sock because the bag comes out of the washer and dryer intact with all the socks conveniently packed inside. I just hope that Tompaul and Jonpaul don't catch on. Promise me that you won't tell them.

Questions & Answers

    © 2018 Doris James-MizBejabbers

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      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 6 weeks ago

        That's a good one, Lawrence, I dunno. In flash fiction the author doesn't have the space to analyze and explain. I guess it was because disappearing socks are one of the biggest frustrations of any mother, and they were getting off on her frustration. Does that work? Thanks for the read and comment.

      • lawrence01 profile image

        Lawrence Hebb 6 weeks ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

        MizBejabbers

        Really enjoyed this story, and the explanation of how the story came about, but it got me wondering why the two mischievous spirits wanted to hide the socks?

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 7 weeks ago

        Ih Natalie, glad you enjoyed it. A lot of my stories come from real life experiences. Thanks for commenting.

      • Natalie Frank profile image

        Natalie Frank 7 weeks ago from Chicago, IL

        I love this. Not only the story but also the explanation of where your story ideas come from.

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 2 months ago

        Ha! I'd forgotten about that. Maybe house elves are stealing our socks to buy their freedom!

      • Nell Rose profile image

        Nell Rose 2 months ago from England

        I think its because on Harry Potter there is that little house elf that says, 'Harry gave me a sock, so dobby free!' LOL! well there you go!

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 2 months ago

        That's a very good idea, Zulma. We could stuff pillows with them, too. Sometimes I use my husband's larger ones for dusting mittens.

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 2 months ago

        Nell, glad we have this humor in common. I would swear that I put mine in the washer, but they weren't all there when the clothes came out. Some people used to say that they got washed over the rim in the old top loaders, but I had an old Whirlpool repaired numerous times in the 25+ years I had it, and there were never socks in the body of that machine. I have a front loader now, so that excuse won't hold water anymore. Thanks for stopping by.

      • phoenix2327 profile image

        Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 months ago from United Kingdom

        I used some orphans socks to use as stuffing for a draft excluder I crocheted. It works a treat.

      • Nell Rose profile image

        Nell Rose 2 months ago from England

        LOL! Oh I did laugh! I know! Mine seem to disappear between the dryer, airing cupboard and bedroom drawers! Where oh where do they go?

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 2 months ago

        Hi, Paula, I know what you mean. I gave up on those decades of socks when my favorite red acrylic sock didn't show up anywhere when we moved into our house in 1994, as I'd hoped it would. It was so warm and soft and I loved that pair so much! We had a beautiful little girl kitty that loved to grab a sock and pretend it was her "baby". One day I saw her dragging that one red sock around and crying, so I gave up and gave it to her. After that I go through the orphans every few years and discard them. So far, none have come back home.

        Suggestion for using those old socks: cut them up into strips and make a hooked rug out of them. Wouldn't they make a soft bathmat? I don't know why I did't think of that when my mother was still alive. She would have loved doing it for me. Thanks for your comment, Girlfriend!

      • fpherj48 profile image

        Paula 2 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

        Nothing bugs me more the mystery of missing socks!! I swear, MzB, hard as it may be to believe, I have a huge basket filled with lone socks collected over DECADES! I refuse to give up believing they just HAVE to show up at some point!

        It simply defies logic and common sense.

        I'm not giving up! One day, I'll come up with some fabulous use for all odd socks. Hang in there. I'll keep you posted.

        Your story makes sense to me!!

      • Robert Sacchi profile image

        Robert Sacchi 2 months ago

        You're welcome, now get to it :-)

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 2 months ago

        Thanks, Robert.

      • Robert Sacchi profile image

        Robert Sacchi 2 months ago

        Good luck with both endeavors.

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 2 months ago

        Actually, Robert, I have thought about it. Maybe when I finish the book I'm ghostwriting and editing for someone else.

      • Robert Sacchi profile image

        Robert Sacchi 2 months ago

        Good laundry tip. Lesson 1 of writing; never hit the delete button. Have you considered try to make this story into a children's book?

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 2 months ago

        Chris, ain't that the truth! Where do they go? Thanks for the read and comment. Glad you found it fun.

      • cam8510 profile image

        Chris Mills 2 months ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

        If all my lost socks came back for a visit, I'd have to move out. This is truly one of the great mysteries of the world. Thanks for the fun story.

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 2 months ago

        At least these socks were clean. I'm not the world's best cartoonist, but if someone were to team up with me. My son was a great artist, too bad he's gone. I'll have to give it more serious thought. Thanks.

      • shanmarie profile image

        shanmarie 3 months ago

        I think this sounds like a perfect children's story! Why not? My son just got through reading one called "Sigfried's Smelly Socks." Let me know if you ever publish it as a book, please.

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 3 months ago

        Zulma and Finn, just a quick thanks to you both for reading and commenting. It's about to storm here and I have to shut the computer down. I guess it's as good an explanation as any because I have never found some of them that were lost 25 years ago.

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 3 months ago

        Zulma and Finn, just a quick thanks to you both for reading and commenting. It's about to storm here and I have to shut the computer down. I guess it's as good an explanation as any because I have never found some of them that were lost 25 years ago.

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 3 months ago

        Well, Kari, I didn't expect that. Maybe I should write an article on how to wash and put away socks. LOL As I said this was just a piece of nonsense that came to my mind. I don't expect it to win any accolades. Thanks.

      • wpcooper profile image

        Finn Liam Cooper 3 months ago from Los Angeles

        wow quite amusing....i was always curious as to what happened to those lost socks.

      • phoenix2327 profile image

        Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 3 months ago from United Kingdom

        This is adorable. Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.

      • k@ri profile image

        Kari Poulsen 3 months ago from Ohio

        LOL, I liked the explanation better than the story. I, too, hate those orphaned socks. The bags sound like a good idea.

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 3 months ago

        Manatita, sometimes I let my childish streak come through. glad you found it charming. I was afraid some might find it sacrilegious, but I knew the broad-minded wouldn't. Thanks, my friend.

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 3 months ago

        Larry, only coat hangers breed at my house. Maybe you are the culprit. Your middle name isn't Tompaul, is it? Thank you for reading and your funny comment, my friend.

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 3 months ago

        Jackie, when we used the old agitator washing machines, we used to speculate that they had gone under the agitator or over the top of the tub through the drain. I'm not sure that either is physically possible. I have a front loader now, so good socks going to heaven is my only excuse now. Mice chewed up three of my soft chenille sweaters for a bed in a drawer one year, but they left my socks alone. Glad you came back.

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        Manatita44 3 months ago

        Childlike and charming. Interesting piece.

      • Larry Rankin profile image

        Larry Rankin 3 months ago from Oklahoma

        Fun read:-)

        I don't know what it is about me, but my socks always seem to breed:-) maybe I'm the answer to where all those socks go, lol

      • Jackie Lynnley profile image

        Jackie Lynnley 3 months ago from The Beautiful South

        I suspect mice may be the culprit sometimes. Socks are so lightweight they don't have to chew it up and like the rest of us females they cut every corner they can.

        Glad I cam back for the rest of your story...and it does complete it!

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 3 months ago

        Venkatachari, I always wished that I'd had visitations from an invisible friend when I was a kid. I was able to kill two birds with one stone in this one. Thank you for reading and commenting.

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 3 months ago

        Hi, Bill, I appreciate your saving this until morning when you were awake. Didn't take you very long to read it, though, did it? I'll bet Bev has a few words to say about those orphaned socks, too. Happy cold Hump Day to you, too. It may get up to 30 degrees here today. Let's all pray for the early arrival of spring.

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 3 months ago

        Hi Flourish, we all know about those stubborn socks, don't we? I've found them hiding in pants legs, on skirt tails, and even on the floor behind the washer, but some I've never found. Those were usually my favorites, too. Thank you for reading and commenting on this dilemma.

      • Venkatachari M profile image

        Venkatachari M 3 months ago from Hyderabad, India

        It's very interesting, MizB! A flash fiction with socks, that too orphaned! A great creation with the inclusion of two invisible spirits. Enjoyed it a lot.

      • billybuc profile image

        Bill Holland 3 months ago from Olympia, WA

        I love how your mind works, MizB! Very clever story, well-written, a great way to begin my day. In fact I saved it till this morning when I was awake enough to fully appreciate it.

        Happy Hump Day my friend!

      • FlourishAnyway profile image

        FlourishAnyway 3 months ago from USA

        This was very clever, and I enjoyed it. Sometimes I actually find stray socks inside pant legs that are hanging up or fitted sheets. They hide because some of them are very averse to being stepped and sweated upon. Others are merely lazy or uppity about work.

      • MizBejabbers profile image
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        Doris James-MizBejabbers 3 months ago

        Hi, Jackie, I hit the publish button before I finished. You may want to read why I wrote this story. I do agree that it's hell not to be able to find the mate to my favorite socks, and sometimes I do have to give up and throw them out. Thank you for reading and commenting.

      • Jackie Lynnley profile image

        Jackie Lynnley 3 months ago from The Beautiful South

        Well MizB, sometimes I wonder where the go, but my guess would be in the other direction!

        I have their matches ready to throw out cause I give up looking!

        Fun story!

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