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Fauntleroy and Flossy - The Liberals are Coming! The Liberals are Coming!

Updated on April 19, 2017

“Settle down,” Vader had his hand on Flossy’s … ah, Fauntleroy’s shoulder.

“But the Liberals are coming.”

“We fought them off in Kansas, and Normandy. I mean and we will fight them off in Georgia.”

“We must. THOSE people love trees, and clean air, and drinkable drinking water – like it was their right. Even the most famous president is famous and for what?! Cutting down a tree – see, that proves it, right there, trees – seen one, seen them all. Georgia? Kansas? Montana? Why do we need all these states? I took an oath to Tweet to save this country.”

Vader changing the subject – “Did you read the report that Texas is questioning the wall?”

“My wall? How un-American of them. Don’t they know I am here to protect them? I am the only one that can fix this.”

“Sir, the report did you read it?”

“You know I don’t read. I sent you to fix the Koreans. Did you fix them? Are they in line with our policies now? We need them to help with the money that is coming in.”

“Mr. our President, did you see that there is a report of a video of you promising the Russians that in exchange for them helping rig the election, you would offer concessions. They have played the clips of your speeches where you announced again and again, that the elections were rigged. Well, sir, now they have proof. They are saying, that several of your campaign staff are on record as offering the Russians favorable treatment. Do you know anything about that?”

“I am MR. our president, and cannot be sued over these trivial matters. Besides, I have already retroactively signed pardons for myself and anyone that voted for me. Every single one of them. You must have received yours in the mail by now.”

“Ah, er – yes, my president.” Vader cleared his throat.

“Where are my generals, my military contractors – I pull out the M.O.A.B.’s and what happens? I am countered with the F.O.A.B’s – how do the Russians have the father of all bombs. One of our platforms is that women are inferior to men. It is right there in the G.O.P. Bylaws, which are all written and sworn by, in the secret handshake club. Build me the M.A.T.B.B. Get it, Make America the Biggest Bomb. Hey, I can Tweet that?”

“Yes, Your Highness. I mean Our President.” Vader left the room still wearing his leather jacket with, I went to South Korea and all I got was this stinking jacket, embroidered on the back.

The red phone rang, Fauntleroy picked it up and listened. After a moment he picked up a pencil and wrote down, ‘I pay myself. I paid so much in taxes that, this is a service to you little people.’ “I like that,” he said. “I can use that. Tell Bullcrap MicWeiny that I am going to use that.”

Disclaimer


This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone elected with aid from the enemy of the United States is purely coincidental. No slander towards Red phones is intended. The facts, only the facts are used in the making of this constitutionally allowed (at the time of the writing) presentation. Citizens of Texas, who may have their land confiscated are asking to revoke their ballots against the wall builders. There is no truth to the rumor that the same Russian company that built the Berlin wall is bidding to build our great wall between the great nation to the north and the great nation to the south.

Materials are copyrighted and are protected by copyright laws worldwide. Any reproduction, reduction, or deduction, may not be modified, published, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way, without the advance fictitious writer’s written approval notarized by legal authority in neighboring corresponding States, Regions, or territories.

First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Get extra ammunition up in the watchtowers, and pull up the drawbridge. Once those damned Liberals infest an area, no one is safe. LOL This country would be much better off if we only had a one party system called Trumpicans!

    • asajanarif profile image

      jana ojana 2 months ago from bogra

      best

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 months ago from Southern Illinois

      OMG you had me laughing before I read this funny and scary piece. " The liberals are coming. " Is music to my ear's. I watched The View this morning and actually stood up and yelled. Elizabeth Warren was on and talked about the importance of people voting in the coming elections in every state. Trump's people rule the house and senate. We must bring sanity back to our government..Keep writing my friend. Laughing is good medicine.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Bill - Yes, fortify the watchtowers and don't react until you see the insanity in their eyes. LOL So many people wanted the pot stirred, and now the pot is stirred.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      jana ojana - Thank you. I appreciate your visit.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Ruby - You hit the nail on the head. This issue is simple to solve, we just have to vote and we all have to give up thinking these races are local they are all National. The republicans know this, they are organized and rich. We are many.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 2 months ago from Jeffersonville PA

      You rascal, Mike - you got me thinking it's Friday with this funky number by S.O.U.L.

      And 'you made me so very happy' with this BST number - thanks for the smiles and the music - it helps. Hugs, mar

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello mar - I guess all this political diet has left me in a funky mood. Once again the news out of the capitol was enough to create a few words from out sponsor. The DNC sure has it's work cut out for it. I read an article the other day that says the Democrats are irrelevant. That is a tough notion. But as we saw in Georgia there is no fire in the party.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 2 months ago from Texas

      The Liberals are coming he better beware

      With his dossier in hand

      His secrets we’ll share

      Making him want to pull out his make believe phony hair

      *

      *

      Mike, I think like all the others, this is my favorite.

      Blessings as always

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Shy – You have said a mouthful. The dossier, seems to be coming true, line by line. It is not a flattering picture of the man how would be king. The country was stirred into madness, and now we have arrived.

      The country will be auctioned off to the highest bidder and collapse into history and for what? Some big bank accounts, with nothing to buy.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 2 months ago from South Africa

      The more I read about Fauntleroy, the more he reminds me of a con artist gospel preacher I've met many moons ago - a narcissist who was so full of himself, and so convinced that he was the only one who had the correct divine info and therefore the only one able to save souls. In the meantime he was a brilliant actor, but a pathetic liar. Sickening! We must listen to our gut feeling. Sadly, con artists make us feel like a little white mouse locked up in the cage of a hungry snake.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Martie - Fauntleroy is not a good guy. His followers will forgive him anything, until some action he initiates hits them right between the eyes. That I foresee will happen soon. It will either be their healthcare or some freedom they hold dear. His only concern is for the wealthy. Nothing news worthy. Thanks for the visit.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 2 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Hi Mike. Sorry I'm late but I needed to take a bit of a break from all things Trump. Great parody. And I loved all of the inferences. Took part in the March for Science on the Common today in Boston. Wet and nippy, but remarkable! A number of participants protested Trump's proposed rollback of environmental regs, budget cutbacks to research funding, etc. "Climate change is not a hoax." The major thrust was awareness-responsibility-education-unity. I'm assuming Trump will tweet that we were "all paid Liberals." What a Twinkie.

      Happy weekend! :-)

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna – Marching for Science is a much better use of your time than reading Fauntleroy and Flossy. It is great to hear that you joined in this most important event. It seems like people in the street are the only thing that gets the attention of the administration. With Miami sinking, I don’t understand how the climate-change-deniers can even make a statement with a straight face. Yes, our tweeter-in-chief sets quite the example for us all. Happy weekend to you also.

    • profile image

      Genna East 2 months ago

      Hi Mike. I think this series is important -- not only in its brilliant presentation but underlying message as well. Happy Sunday.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna - Thank you for your kind comment. Happy Sunday to you also. You are inspired to join in the resistance and that inspires me.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 2 months ago from California

      I am one of them darn liberals I am afraid--Bill is right--pull up the drawbridge!

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 2 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      One fantastic write. Great choice of music.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Audrey - All of our lives we have heard we are the richest country in the world. The first thing(s) this group has done is attack the poorest among us. They pressed their thumbs down on the old, the sick, and turned their backs on young women during their darkest hours. Then they golf .

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Gypsy - Thank you. That is very kind of you.

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