Fauntleroy and Flossy - The Liberals are Coming! The Liberals are Coming!
“Settle down,” Vader had his hand on Flossy’s … ah, Fauntleroy’s shoulder.
“But the Liberals are coming.”
“We fought them off in Kansas, and Normandy. I mean and we will fight them off in Georgia.”
“We must. THOSE people love trees, and clean air, and drinkable drinking water – like it was their right. Even the most famous president is famous and for what?! Cutting down a tree – see, that proves it, right there, trees – seen one, seen them all. Georgia? Kansas? Montana? Why do we need all these states? I took an oath to Tweet to save this country.”
Vader changing the subject – “Did you read the report that Texas is questioning the wall?”
“My wall? How un-American of them. Don’t they know I am here to protect them? I am the only one that can fix this.”
“Sir, the report did you read it?”
“You know I don’t read. I sent you to fix the Koreans. Did you fix them? Are they in line with our policies now? We need them to help with the money that is coming in.”
“Mr. our President, did you see that there is a report of a video of you promising the Russians that in exchange for them helping rig the election, you would offer concessions. They have played the clips of your speeches where you announced again and again, that the elections were rigged. Well, sir, now they have proof. They are saying, that several of your campaign staff are on record as offering the Russians favorable treatment. Do you know anything about that?”
“I am MR. our president, and cannot be sued over these trivial matters. Besides, I have already retroactively signed pardons for myself and anyone that voted for me. Every single one of them. You must have received yours in the mail by now.”
“Ah, er – yes, my president.” Vader cleared his throat.
“Where are my generals, my military contractors – I pull out the M.O.A.B.’s and what happens? I am countered with the F.O.A.B’s – how do the Russians have the father of all bombs. One of our platforms is that women are inferior to men. It is right there in the G.O.P. Bylaws, which are all written and sworn by, in the secret handshake club. Build me the M.A.T.B.B. Get it, Make America the Biggest Bomb. Hey, I can Tweet that?”
“Yes, Your Highness. I mean Our President.” Vader left the room still wearing his leather jacket with, I went to South Korea and all I got was this stinking jacket, embroidered on the back.
The red phone rang, Fauntleroy picked it up and listened. After a moment he picked up a pencil and wrote down, ‘I pay myself. I paid so much in taxes that, this is a service to you little people.’ “I like that,” he said. “I can use that. Tell Bullcrap MicWeiny that I am going to use that.”
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone elected with aid from the enemy of the United States is purely coincidental. No slander towards Red phones is intended. The facts, only the facts are used in the making of this constitutionally allowed (at the time of the writing) presentation. Citizens of Texas, who may have their land confiscated are asking to revoke their ballots against the wall builders. There is no truth to the rumor that the same Russian company that built the Berlin wall is bidding to build our great wall between the great nation to the north and the great nation to the south.
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