Fauntleroy and Flossy – It Was the Night before Dismissed

Updated on November 30, 2018
It Was the Night before Dismissed
And all though the House
Republicans were packing
no time to delouse


They carefully folded
their thoughts and prayers
and tucked them away
in their dungeons downstairs



They took what they could;
they knew people forget
And they were secretly glad
to escape Mueller’s dragnet

Bring up the lights

Fauntleroy had just returned from a rally, his first meeting of the day started at 3 p.m.

Around him sat his remaining trusted advisors. He began, “I suppose you are wondering why I called this meeting. Well, I am going to tell you, I got off the phone an hour ago with Cambridge Animosity. They told me in two States our voting machines that are programmed to switch every third vote for a Democrat to the republican candidate have been found out.” He paused, “We might have a Beto in the Senate,” he raised his voice, “a Beto.” He looked around trying to remember the good old days when Conherway and Banshee attended the meetings.

VP Vader spoke up. “I predict we hold the House and gain many Senate seats.” He put his hands together in prayer. A female staffer walked in with diet soft drinks and cheesy puff on a tray for Fauntleroy. VP Vader lowered his eyes, not wanting to lose his virginity.

Fauntleroy snapped his fingers, “You, I have forgotten your name, what do you think?”

“You put me in charge of putting children in cages. I can report there are more children in cages under your administration than any time since World War II. You sir will make this the great country it once was. Maybe it will be even greater than ever before. After all Flossy racked up a $95,000 for one night stay in a Cairo hotel. The cash back offer on her Maggot credit card travel points will pay for her next trip.”

The red phone in his right pocket rang. He reached for it, the screen indicated low battery. “Yes… yes.” The rest of the room could hear a voice at the other end of the line, “we’re melting.” The phone went silent.

“I don’t understand,” Fauntleroy began. “We told them, just yesterday, that we all stood behind their preexisting conditions. We even told the democrats. We told them guns don’t kill people, and we're always quick to offer thoughts and prayers after each massacre.”

“Conherway,” he called. There was no answer. “Banshee, where are you?” Again there was no answer.

The camouflage phone in is sock rang. Fauntleroy grabbed it, “Putt-Baby how is winter going there in that Godforsaken country of yours. I was just down in Miami, thinking of you. Once we get these midterms behind us, we can begin to rebuild Moscow next to Miami, you will be so happy here.” He listened to the voice for what seemed like hours. “Resistance, they are just people in the streets, practically homeless. We have the voting machine manufacturers in our pocket. We have polling places located in cow pastures in those diseased areas where people think they can help other people. We have our message. What do you think of our new slogan, “A body slam is as good as a vote?”

The phone on the table in front of Fauntleroy rang, “Yeah.” The voice on the line was Model T’s.

“Listen, everything is ready. Flossy has secured passage for Grasshopper, Mini-T, Red B., and I on Marine One. If things get too bad, we will hop a flight to Gomorrah-Logo and then down to Honduras. Joorel thinks in a few years we may be able to join a caravan and slip back into the country.”

The group heard a crisp knock at the door, then it opened and a four star general walked in. “Sir, we have the situation room ready. We will all watch the election results there. Here is the pen you asked for, encase you want to write an executive order overriding the election results.”

Fade the lights, Disclaimer:

Fauntleroy and Flossy is not for everyone. In fourteen states, they have been determined to be a preexisting condition and not covered under any medical plan. Voting is a prescription available to those enlightened enough to let your wishes be known.

Contact your physician immediately if a Texas senator wins reelection as bleeding from eyes can occur. And remember kids, as Smoky says; only you can prevent ‘Bold Faced Liars.”

First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

The rats were all snuggled
in their best friends wife’s bed
Knowing the morning light
would confirm their careers dead

In the voting lines
the democrats chattered
Knowing that voting this time
was all that mattered

The votes they kept tally;
all day and all night.
Happy Election to all,
keep up the good fight.

Fauntleroy, this ones for you

Questions & Answers

    Comments

      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment
      • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR

        mckbirdbks 

        6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

        Hello Martie - That hotel bill is just more theft. I am guessing a hefty kickback is involved. I don't think I will around for that, 'best' you mentioned. Thanks for the visit.

      • MartieCoetser profile image

        Martie Coetser 

        6 months ago from South Africa

        Well, politics is still the best reality show. E-v-e-n-t-u-a-l-l-y everything will turn out for the best, although we will not be around to see it.

        $95,000 for one night stay in a Cairo hotel? WTH?

      • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR

        mckbirdbks 

        6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

        Hi Patty - You have had a varied career.That federal employees are rewarded for keeping people away from the various programs is very disheartening news. I did not think of those that could not afford Medicare Part B and can see were that would limit their access. When I went through the issues with my heart a few years ago, I was copied on two bills submitted by the facilities. Both bills were in the $100,000 range. Without insurance, we would have lost everything and still be in debt. And that is the whole problem with the system in the U.S. I once did some research on medical operations. In countries like India, an operation may cost 25% of what is charged here in the States. It would pay handsomely to 'book' any major planned operation to take place elsewhere. The corporate mentality that runs America, will ruin us all.

      • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

        Patty Inglish MS 

        6 months ago from USA and Asgardia, the First Space Nation

        Hi Mike - "House broken" is a great phrase.

        During the Clinton and Bush43 administrations I worked for nonprofits connected to county combined unemployment/"welfare"/Medicaid/Food stamps services, state Workers Comp, Social Security Disability and related agencies. I learned that some federal officials and some in the governor's office put pressure on caseworkers to reduce caseloads by denying new applicants and terminating current ones however they could --

        Some caseworkers were clients and patients of mine who reported that they were paid bonuses based on how many folks they could prevent from entering or staying on the rolls of their agencies. Kind of indirect involvement of the state in some federal programs. I was startled by this.

        Next, Workers Comp and SSD began requiring many recipients to attend classes and make significant progress in GED or adult high school classes if they had not already graduated. I don't know if this is still the case.

        And I wish Medicare were a better program so more Seniors might afford healthcare. I know many who cannot pay for Part B. I hope things get better for us all.

      • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR

        mckbirdbks 

        6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

        Hello Genna – As you know, I have not been writing. When the line came to me, “It was the night before dismissed,” that sparked the episode. I too would rather laugh than cry. Now we will have a battle, where the democrats are also carrying parliamentary weapons. Closer to a fair fight, rather than what we have been witnessing.

        I tweeted this morning, “Now we will see if the president can be House broken.”

        Hope all is well. Hugs

      • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR

        mckbirdbks 

        6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

        Hello Patty – We will see if a restoration in the balance of power brings some of the madness the country has experienced these last two years to a stop. Or maybe just decreases it. It is beyond my comprehension how anyone not a democrat could have won a seat at the table in 2018. As a group, the opposition, were salivating to take away healthcare from millions of Americans. Just that issue should have disqualified them from office. An Americans remaining silent about putting children in cages makes us a global disgrace.

        The life situation you describe causes me pain. Healthcare should not bankrupt anyone. I don’t see how a Governor can step in and run interference in Federal programs. Though, admittedly I am not an expert in any field. When I went on Medicare many of the co-pays went up. When I refused to pay, and therefore did not receive service, the providers wanted to know why. Apparently, I don’t follow the path that is laid out for me very well. (This could explain everything.)

      • Genna East profile image

        Genna East 

        6 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

        "VP Vader lowered his eyes, not wanting to lose his virginity." Lol at this and other bon mots peppered throughout this gem. You are soooo bad. And I just love it! When faced with times with which we have to either laugh or cry about what is happening inside the Beltway, I'd much rather laugh. :-) Hugs.

      • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

        Patty Inglish MS 

        6 months ago from USA and Asgardia, the First Space Nation

        I'm happy so many people in my state voted, with results of Democrats and Republicans more evenly represented in government here. However, I still think it evil that our new governor plans to further cut Medicare, Medicaid, and if he can - Social Security Disability and Retirement. Under Reagan, Several of my patients died because of these reductions. Today, at a few years older than Obama, I have not only no living family left, but no face-to-face friends left because of exorbitant healthcare costs ---

        For example, the last friend finally had insurance under Obamacare and was doing better with her harsh chronic conditions. After she was forced onto Medicare at age 65, she lived only another year, because healthcare was once again severely limited. She died one month before she would have received her first Social Security check.

        Fortunately, my church now offers free and low-cost healthcare of most kinds five days a week at our huge community center. That's one answer to the problem.

      • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR

        mckbirdbks 

        6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

        Hello Peg - You are right. Voting is the answer. Have a good day. I am hanging out in the kitchen today with a paint brush.

      • PegCole17 profile image

        Peg Cole 

        6 months ago from Northeast of Dallas, Texas

        Voting is the answer. The people will speak. Interesting that both sides consider the other side as "evil." Divided we fall. I can only hope that some of those willing to incite violence against the other side will be voted out. There's no need for hatred.

      • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR

        mckbirdbks 

        6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

        Or perhaps, Hello Verlie.

      • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR

        mckbirdbks 

        6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

        Hallo Verlie - Lucky that you can watch from the sideline. Many of us are in the trenches on the front lines. The entire country has been embarrassed by the frantic politics of a mad magician pulling policy from a decades old playbook. Tuesday we have a chance to slam the book closed. Thanks for the visit.

      • snakeslane profile image

        Verlie Burroughs 

        6 months ago from Canada

        Dear Mike, I read this earlier today, and couldn't leave a comment (I had to clear my browser cache go figure). So my brilliant comment is sadly forgotten. I'm just really happy to see this on the eve of dismissed. Timely write. I will be watching from the sidelines.

      • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

        Patty Inglish MS 

        6 months ago from USA and Asgardia, the First Space Nation

        I hope the same thing, Mike!

      • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR

        mckbirdbks 

        6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

        Hello Patti - I might have to close the walls in, turn off the tv/internet news and wait in the bunker. This is so important. I hope enough people took the wake up call and can exercise their rights as citizens.

      • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

        Patty Inglish MS 

        6 months ago from USA and Asgardia, the First Space Nation

        Crikey! - This article is so true it hurts.

        So happy I voted two weeks ago and that our county voting HQ has been packed with early voters open-to-close for a month.

        I don't think I can stand to watch the political coverage on TV/internet tomorrow, but Thank God that we can vote evil out of every level of government in America - there are some demons in my area that must go, not to mention inside the Beltway.

        November 6, I'm just going to think about Jerry Lewis and the other good people answering the phones to help people in the Call Center in the Sky. Thanks for that one!

      • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR

        mckbirdbks 

        6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

        Hi Paula - A spiritual retreat. You are so smart. I wish I had thought of that. Enjoy your time disconnected from the world. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Fauntleroy and Flossy are not for everyone.

      • fpherj48 profile image

        Paula 

        6 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

        Hi Mike....I see you're keeping Fauntleroy & Flossy alive and not-so-well. The photo of Gilligan & gang is funny! I had no idea Robert Mueller has such a hot body! I loved that program as a kid...my favorites being Thurstan & "Lovey!"

        Tomorrow after voting, I'm on my way to an annual spiritual retreat. No phones or for that matter, any electronic devices whatsoever! Egad! I won't know any verdicts until I get back on Thursday! Can't imagine anything more wonderful I could do for my well-being.

        Thanks so much for the tune from Neil! Also, appreciate your help & advice which I followed by changing my PW....:) Peace, Paula

      • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR

        mckbirdbks 

        6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

        Hello Mar - The peoples voice will tell us were we are and who we are. Fauntleroy is likely on cocaine today. Self medication.

      • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR

        mckbirdbks 

        6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

        Hello Bill - We are going to see if the people still have a voice in this country. We will know in a couple of days if this country is still worth fighting for.

      • marcoujor profile image

        Maria Jordan 

        6 months ago from Jeffersonville PA

        Come one - come all... tomorrow is the day where the people speak.

        I'm also praying that Americans speak with their voters' voice, instead of hand-wringing after the fact. The time is now.

      • billybuc profile image

        Bill Holland 

        6 months ago from Olympia, WA

        If there is truly a God, it all changes tomorrow. I'm crossing my fingers and praying like crazy.

      working

      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, letterpile.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://letterpile.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

      Show Details
      Necessary
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Features
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Marketing
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Statistics
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
      ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)