Fauntleroy and Flossy – It Was the Night before Dismissed
It Was the Night before DismissedAnd all though the HouseRepublicans were packingno time to delouse
They carefully foldedtheir thoughts and prayersand tucked them awayin their dungeons downstairs
They took what they could;they knew people forgetAnd they were secretly gladto escape Mueller’s dragnet
Bring up the lights
Fauntleroy had just returned from a rally, his first meeting of the day started at 3 p.m.
Around him sat his remaining trusted advisors. He began, “I suppose you are wondering why I called this meeting. Well, I am going to tell you, I got off the phone an hour ago with Cambridge Animosity. They told me in two States our voting machines that are programmed to switch every third vote for a Democrat to the republican candidate have been found out.” He paused, “We might have a Beto in the Senate,” he raised his voice, “a Beto.” He looked around trying to remember the good old days when Conherway and Banshee attended the meetings.
VP Vader spoke up. “I predict we hold the House and gain many Senate seats.” He put his hands together in prayer. A female staffer walked in with diet soft drinks and cheesy puff on a tray for Fauntleroy. VP Vader lowered his eyes, not wanting to lose his virginity.
Fauntleroy snapped his fingers, “You, I have forgotten your name, what do you think?”
“You put me in charge of putting children in cages. I can report there are more children in cages under your administration than any time since World War II. You sir will make this the great country it once was. Maybe it will be even greater than ever before. After all Flossy racked up a $95,000 for one night stay in a Cairo hotel. The cash back offer on her Maggot credit card travel points will pay for her next trip.”
The red phone in his right pocket rang. He reached for it, the screen indicated low battery. “Yes… yes.” The rest of the room could hear a voice at the other end of the line, “we’re melting.” The phone went silent.
“I don’t understand,” Fauntleroy began. “We told them, just yesterday, that we all stood behind their preexisting conditions. We even told the democrats. We told them guns don’t kill people, and we're always quick to offer thoughts and prayers after each massacre.”
“Conherway,” he called. There was no answer. “Banshee, where are you?” Again there was no answer.
The camouflage phone in is sock rang. Fauntleroy grabbed it, “Putt-Baby how is winter going there in that Godforsaken country of yours. I was just down in Miami, thinking of you. Once we get these midterms behind us, we can begin to rebuild Moscow next to Miami, you will be so happy here.” He listened to the voice for what seemed like hours. “Resistance, they are just people in the streets, practically homeless. We have the voting machine manufacturers in our pocket. We have polling places located in cow pastures in those diseased areas where people think they can help other people. We have our message. What do you think of our new slogan, “A body slam is as good as a vote?”
The phone on the table in front of Fauntleroy rang, “Yeah.” The voice on the line was Model T’s.
“Listen, everything is ready. Flossy has secured passage for Grasshopper, Mini-T, Red B., and I on Marine One. If things get too bad, we will hop a flight to Gomorrah-Logo and then down to Honduras. Joorel thinks in a few years we may be able to join a caravan and slip back into the country.”
The group heard a crisp knock at the door, then it opened and a four star general walked in. “Sir, we have the situation room ready. We will all watch the election results there. Here is the pen you asked for, encase you want to write an executive order overriding the election results.”
Fade the lights, Disclaimer:
Fauntleroy and Flossy is not for everyone. In fourteen states, they have been determined to be a preexisting condition and not covered under any medical plan. Voting is a prescription available to those enlightened enough to let your wishes be known.
Contact your physician immediately if a Texas senator wins reelection as bleeding from eyes can occur. And remember kids, as Smoky says; only you can prevent ‘Bold Faced Liars.”
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
The rats were all snuggledin their best friends wife’s bedKnowing the morning lightwould confirm their careers deadIn the voting linesthe democrats chatteredKnowing that voting this timewas all that matteredThe votes they kept tally;all day and all night.Happy Election to all,keep up the good fight.