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Fauntleroy and Flossy – Americanistan Pie

Updated on May 17, 2017

Fauntleroy listened to the camouflage phone pressed to his ear.

“Crash the market. Then we can move in with monies stashed in our accounts in the Netherlands. Once we own enough of the shares of GM we can turn it into the finest manufacturer of Russian T-14 Armata tanks in the world. That will save us so much on shipping them there. We will first clear out the Los Angeles area; it seems our Russian refugees want to live where it is warm. Your exiles will not like our Russian winters. No one likes our Russian winters. You will provide the free labor to tear down the slums of East Los Angeles. All the towns with Laguna in it belong to the Party. Our summer homes will be there. We want all the streets, quaint, like in the 1950’s when, as you put it American was great.” Putt-Baby paused. “Are you listening?”

“I’m listening. Your Party elite want the beaches in California? Do you want them stocked with California girls?”

“Het! We will supply our own from the Baltic States. We also want the billboards to begin appearing on the highways and Freeways, “Russia is our Friend” things will go much easier if we start the indoctrination prior to the transition period. Faunt? Are you there?”

“What? Yes. We…” he stopped, reached over and pressed the red button on his desk. The butler entered with an iced Coke.

“When will all the removal of the unwanted races be complete? Why you allowed them into your Christian nation is a mystery to us. We have never tolerated diversity of any kind. Even the peasants were unpleasant. We want to get started building our Kremlin in the West as soon as possible.”

“Yes,” Putt-Baby.

“Oh, your request to tear down the White House and build a hotel has been granted. You may begin as soon as the population of Los Angeles is moved into the desert of Southern Arizona.”

Putt-Baby put his hand over his mouthpiece while someone asked him if Fauntleroy was taking notes.

“Do you have your instructions?”

Fauntleroy held out his hand to Pet Peeve who handed him the list.

“Crash the market. Take over GM; Build the Laguna cities into 1950’s prop locations. Move the population of Los Angeles to Southern Arizona. Put up your billboards. That’s about it. Then I can build my multi-story building on the White House location. Speed the exodus of the races, almost forgot that.”

The intercom voice interrupted. “Sir, there is a row of F.B.I. vehicles at the front gate.”

Fauntleroy picked up the white phone, “Get me Fawn Hall.”

First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Disclaimer


This is a work of fiction. This work is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. Any resemblance to the deAmericanizing of America is purely intentional.

‘Budgets’ they scream, as their sponsors rake in record profits year after year from the graft and greed. ‘Budgets’ they scream as their stock shares soar from excess profits taken from long engrained unprincipled business practices to their advantage of the system. ‘Budgets’ they scream as they remove food from the mouths of the poor, frail and disabled.

Recent quotes:

“Nobody dies from lack of health care.”

“Bring back the system of charity to cover the medical expenses of the poor.”

“I am the Senator. You are a citizen. You need to be quiet.”

“You say you pay for me to do this. Bullc..p. I pay for myself. I paid enough taxes before I got there [Congress] and continue to through my company to pay my own salary. This is a service. No one here pays me to go.”



I read today a comment that paraphrasing, said, ‘Why do the liberals want to stop the president from making America Great again. See, they stand in his way and the DOW drops. They stand in his way and the dollar goes lower. Why don’t the liberals get out of the way, once the corporations don’t have to deal with regulations the whole country will be successful.’

There is a reason for those regulations. The easiest are clean air and clean water. There are things more important than corporate profit.

American Pie

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    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 5 days ago from Jeffersonville PA

      I virtually ran to this because I 'knew' some American Pie was waiting at the end.

      This is one song that makes me stop in my tracks - today I realize I've been listening to this song for 45-years and I love it more than ever.

      Now what have you done with the photo of the woman whose face is worth (at least) a thousand words?

      Your muse is on a tear... a 'multi-nicher' (brand new word...you get the drift)

      Have a lovely day. Hugs, mar

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 5 days ago from South Africa

      Go figure!

      The new political slogan in SA is 'radical economic transformation'. All of a sudden it sounds very applicable to the USA :)

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 5 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello mar - Yes, American Pie is a natural for this piece. Thanks for pointing out that I had forgotten the lady with the flag. How careless of me. I am writing these pieces in one setting, so it gets a little hectic.

      Has it really been forty-five years? It seems like just yesterday this blasted from the car radio.

      It is cold here in SoCal today. I need my muse to give me something good to write about.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 5 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Martie - Someone or some country is behind a global attack on everything we have been lead to believe. Just like the 'Arab Spring' where whole regions rose up at the same time and were put down by strongmen regimes. It is happening here, it is happening in SA. Germany and England are dealing with it. There is a backlash against progress. We must not yield to a return to the dark ages mentality.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 5 days ago from North America

      It Can't Happen Here...it can't happen here...it is happening here (Это происходит здесь), Sinclair.

      "We come in peace" (blast, blast, blast) - Martian in "Mars Attacks."

      "Even the peasants were unpleasant." ...OR... "Native people don't deserve the land just because they were born there." (Ayn Rand, Russian defector to the far right wing. Where's a good uprising when you need it?

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 5 days ago from Massachusetts, USA

      ‘Why do the liberals want to stop the president from making America Great again. See, they stand in his way and the DOW drops. They stand in his way and the dollar goes lower. Why don’t the liberals get out of the way, once the corporations don’t have to deal with regulations the whole country will be successful." When I read stupid comments like this, I just cringe.

      I used to be a Republican before changing to Independent. (This isn't the Party I grew up with many years ago; it became too irresponsible and uncaring for me.) It appears that most of the GOP are now playing Pontius Pilot, leaving the ramifications of the White House ignorance and infamy to fate. We knew going in that they would take the heat for Trump's ingrained narcissism and chaos when he took over the Oval Office as he threatens the very institutions and programs that protect our democracy, ethics and what makes America great. (His followers are either too uninformed and/or uncaring to understand what is happening.) Many of the GOP wanted to ride his coattails for reforms on the tax code, Obamacare, and deregulation in the financial services and fossil fuel industries. The cost to them is high; it appears that a number of them are behaving like prostitutes -- the price tag being a dismal loss of character. Some will face comeuppance in 2018. And well they should.

      McLean's song is a classic and perfect for this great installment, Mike.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 4 days ago from Texas

      Mike, I am borrowing Genna's nick name for the majority of the GOP 'Pontius Pilot' I guess the Greedy Old P$!#k$ have not heard that Hillary in not in the WH, the way the keep invoking her name to kick her while she is down.

      I hope you can understand what I am trying to say.

      I love American Pie!

      Blessings always.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 4 days ago from Queensland Australia

      I love the title of this, Mike. Also, American Pie has always been one of my favourite songs so thanks for sharing. Another song which would be appropriate for one of the Fauntleroy and Flossy episodes is "American Idiot," by Green Day.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 4 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Patty – You pose a good question. “We come in piece” )blast, blast, blast is priceless. Mankind has spent its history conquering and being conquered. Maybe that is all we know. The losing position in new to Americans. But it seems that is where we are because divided we are weaker.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 4 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna – My siblings are Republicans, for the life of me, I don’t know why. The accolades are well polished. The actions are something else entirely. There is no pretense as to who pulls the strings. From the distance I keep, it appears money has won and labor has lost. There are examples all over this country of how little the moneyed class disregards the working class. It was the major corporations that moved jobs to China, nothing was stolen, it was taken away from from the American working class and given for pennies on the dollar to the workers in China and that went on for decades.

      There does not seem to be a crack in the resolve of the followers of today's leadership. A billionaire is going to make things better for them, because we all know our benefactors have always been billionaires.

      Thank you.

      Remember last week when we were minutes away from a confrontation with N. Korea. Bread and Circus' are on the menu.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 4 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Shy – It amazes me what the turtle-backs in Congress will put up with if a republican does it. All those people would be on the edge of a stroke if a democrat had advertised their children’s products or put brochures on government web pages advertising their resorts. They would be catatonic if multiple members of their staff were in constant contact with Russians.

      If reality sets in, as it looks like is, many republicans and their family members are going to spend some time in Federal prison. I wonder if that is enough.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 4 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello John – Thank you. The title was one of thos that came near sleep, I sat up and wrote it down, not wanting to lose it. American Pie is a classic. I will have to go and look up “American Idiot," by Green Day.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 4 days ago from Queensland Australia

      Mike, American Idiot was written during George W Bush's term in office, but I think it still fits the present situation.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 3 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello John - That song hurt my ears.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 8 hours ago from Riga, Latvia

      And I was singing bye bye Ms American Pie while driving my Chevy etc. I think my homeland the good ole' U.S.A. is on one wild roller coaster ride.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 6 hours ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Gypsy - I agree the U.S. government is behaving like a coke head on a rampage. The U.S. will survive this, because, one by one, people are waking up to just how unbalanced the leader of the free world is behaving. Thanks for your visit.

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