Everyone Has a Touch of Klutz

Updated on June 5, 2017
clivewilliams profile image

I have been writing poetry, fiction and short stories for many years and have completed a book of poems. I also enjoy comedy writing.

Bang, Bullocks, Rattle, Click and a Clang

That's me stumbling down the steps fracturing my hand

"Geez, he is such a klutz," A young lady whispered

As I begun to stumble over a stationary skateboard

Oh my god, I am such a klutz, I tripped on my left foot an landed on a coup

Then ordered egg sandwich and knocked out the waiters soup

My friends designed a T-Shirt for me and printed on it mishap

I am simply a walking accident, a human trap

I dunno, every time my pals come around they where hard hats

Maybe it's because on the head of Bill I nearly dropped a building block

It missed his crown just by a couple inches but hit is shoulder

Now each time he comes around he is padded like a sofa

Geez. I am such a klutz.

My girlfriend left because she said I kept spilling wine on her dresses. She thinks I am nuts.

My supervisor at work moved me from the central area and put me in an office by myself

Keeps on telling me that in here I will only be a danger to myself

Maybe it was because I tried to shred my coffee mug and deleted the files for everyone else.

And mistakenly added hot pepper sauce to the fruit punch and gave everyone a fire instead of a quench

So how are you doing, are you a walking accident like me?

Or do you have that klutz hidden deep? But hey, if you want to let it out, I can design the key.


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    • profile image


      20 months ago

      Clive, yes, the rats too. You should see them knock over my lamp and CDs when they're lose in the house. Cheers.

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      20 months ago from Jamaica

      GalaxyRat...come on now..not the rats too..LOL

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      20 months ago from Jamaica

      @ruby...that is funny ruby. It even sounds like a short story could be made there.

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      20 months ago from Jamaica

      Billy....you better stay far from those beauties....then again isn't your wife one...Well then Klutz you are!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      20 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I'm not much of a klutz unless I'm around a beautiful woman. Then look out!!!!!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      20 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Clive, I think everyone is a klutz at times. Once a friend's father died and I went to the funeral home to give my support. The home had a foot scraper to wipe your feet on, well this was back when we wore spike heels, I got my spike in one of the little holes. I started to walk and noticed I was dragging the scraper inside. The funeral director had to come and remove my shoe to release it. I got tickled and couldn't stop laughing. When I looked at my friend's father, I lol again, needless to say I made a scene that I will never forget. I liked your poem!!!

    • profile image


      20 months ago

      Klutz here... I drop everything, but I always manage to catch them. Except the expensive stuff. Even my rats are klutzi. They drop stuff like food and knock over everything.

      Us klutzi are one of a kind.... LOL.

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      20 months ago from Jamaica

      Hey John, Maybe you need that hard hat...lol

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      20 months ago from Jamaica

      LOL@Eric...come now eric, don't put the klutz on your dear wife and sis....

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      20 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Funny, Clive. I am always walking into things or standing up under them, bumping my head, even though I am not that tall. My wife on the other hand is always dropping stuff and I am following after picking th up. So, yeah we are klutzes or klutziness as Eric informed.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Yahoo!! A Clive Special.

      My wife and my big sister are Klutzi (I think that is the plural;-)

      Sometimes it is scary. Here is the wicked part, with a Klutz you are afraid to help them lest you are to blame.


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