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Everyone Has a Touch of Klutz

I have been writing poetry, fiction and short stories for many years and have completed a book of poems. I also enjoy comedy writing.


Bang, Bullocks, Rattle, Click and a Clang

That's me stumbling down the steps fracturing my hand

"Geez, he is such a klutz," A young lady whispered

As I begun to stumble over a stationary skateboard

Oh my god, I am such a klutz, I tripped on my left foot an landed on a coup

Then ordered egg sandwich and knocked out the waiters soup

My friends designed a T-Shirt for me and printed on it mishap

I am simply a walking accident, a human trap

I dunno, every time my pals come around they where hard hats

Maybe it's because on the head of Bill I nearly dropped a building block

It missed his crown just by a couple inches but hit is shoulder

Now each time he comes around he is padded like a sofa

Geez. I am such a klutz.

My girlfriend left because she said I kept spilling wine on her dresses. She thinks I am nuts.

My supervisor at work moved me from the central area and put me in an office by myself

Keeps on telling me that in here I will only be a danger to myself

Maybe it was because I tried to shred my coffee mug and deleted the files for everyone else.

And mistakenly added hot pepper sauce to the fruit punch and gave everyone a fire instead of a quench

So how are you doing, are you a walking accident like me?

Or do you have that klutz hidden deep? But hey, if you want to let it out, I can design the key.

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