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“ I AM “




They say you know when it's coming. A glimpse into the " what if ". I can feel the difference in my spirit, the intimacy with which it breathes next to my heart. I can see beyond what I'm supposed too. Beyond words, wisdom and purpose.

Insight such as this cannot come without a cost?? It shows you the lock; places the key in hand, asks " are you ready Chris ?" Do I dare turn and hear the click, click , click of the tumblers?

I stand on the threshold knowing once I step past there is no turning back, this road has no turnarounds, no rest stops, no reprieve. One companion on this trip, one gentle cold touch, it's mouth binded from voicing the truths..

I weep for I am scared, unsure and unsteady. As I step on to that ethereal road, my companion hugs me and tells me too look, to see my life, my eyes cloud and I fall. I see my ups, my downs, I relive all the wonderful things I experienced; the love I've shared; the love I helped create,

I see my children, I meet their souls before they enter the realm of flesh, they hug and console me, they say, " don't worry daddy we see you and we will always remember you, we love you!"

I see the sadness I've sown, the tears that fell because of my insensitivity, my anger, my confusion. I see me for the first time. My true self, all doubts and insecurities ripped away.

I see my true spirit, my true image. I am beautiful, made in his image how can I not be. I question my companion, I ask " how can this be true? How can I believe? "

" it's simple Chris, as a child of the universe, you are made exquisite in every way. Your are created with the beauty of the stars, shining as a light into the darkness. You are created with all the wonders of life itself, you are created with peace and unyielding love. You are everything you can see, you are the universe! "

I still don't understand, clinging to the physical, my journey only begins as a single step, a step now into the divine. My companion promises me I will see, one day. And as I awake and look down at the path that lays before me, as it flutters in and out of existence, I hope I can walk steady, I hope I'm remembered, I hope.....

Chris Rowe.

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