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Elves, Faerys, Dwarves, Trolls and the Thunder Gods


Once there was a great celebration thrown by Rurl, the Elf King of the Slavs who became bored with his daily routines. He decided to invite Naye, queen of the faerys, who he secretly had a crush on, so he sent messengers to invite the faerys, but Queen Naye decided to invite Burh, king of the dwarfs, who she admired. King Burh, in turn, invited his friend, Mo-Mo the head of the trolls. The celebration was held in King Rurl's sacred glen of Candea, with its giant oak's, plush green grasses and a clear blue lake beneath an enchanted waterfall. Elves, faerys, dwarves and trolls came from near and far streaming into the glen. King Rurl, Queen Naye, King Burh, and Mo-Mo sat upon a high grassy knoll observing the festivities, where the music was lively, the food was plenty and the elfin mead flowed freely, causing drunken elves, faerys, dwarves, and trolls to mingle amongst each other. Elves played pranks upon the dimwitted trolls while the dwarves chased the faerys and frolicked in the lake and lush grasses.

Upon the knoll, the kings and Queen Naye discussed various events between their cups of mead, suddenly a small rain cloud drifted above lightly showering the knoll, King Rurl raised is glass, "Thank you great Perun for watering my glen."

Queen Naye chimed. “Oh no, thanks should go to Taranis."

King Burl stood and with his low voice said, “We should thank Thor, for there is no better."

Thus, they debated on who the best Thunder God was, but when they had no answer at the end of four days they decided to invite the Gods of Thunder to a contest with the prize being a magnificent thunderbolt, bright silver with embedded streaks of blue, yellow, red and green gems. Crafted by the dwarves, enchanted by the elves and sprinkled with magical faery dust, the bolt would streak through the sky displaying brilliant colors and thunder so deafening that it would echo for days.

The contest took place upon Mount Valdanya, upon the plateau sat the judges, King Rural was dressed in a forest green tunic with a black cape, next to him, Queen Naye, her long brown hair touched her wings at the shoulders, her red cape billowed atop her iridescent dress, next to her sat King Burl, dressed in dark gray throughout with sparkles of silver, and next to him Mo-Mo, his dirty blonde hair trailing off his tan tunic.

Perun was the first to arrive, he came within a black cloud swirling embedded with lightning and claps of thunder, he touched down lightly and his black cape unfurled revealing his mighty sword. His black hair tasseled in the wind and his dark eyes glowed. His low voice rumbled, "Bring on your challenge for I am the only true Thunder God."

A few minutes later, the wind swirled, grayish clouds streaked across the sky with rumbles of thunder and from the clouds descended Taranis with his solar wheel in hand. He stood in front of the judges and stroked his brown beard, "No challenge is too great for me, for I rule the sky."

Minutes later an icy wind blew across the plateau, funnel clouds appeared, thunder rumbled and lightning shot across the sky as Thor descended carrying his hammer Mjollnir, "I accept your challenge for I am the only Thunder God." All the judges bowed, King Rurl stood, “We are honored that you have accepted our challenge. There will be three events, one of the best lighting, second, thunder and third a drinking contest on which of you can drink the most mead within three days. Do you agree to these terms?" Perun raised his sword, “I will take your challenge.”

Taranis raised his solar wheel, lightning shot across the sky, “I agree.”

Thor raised his hammer, "I too agree, but I want to see the thunderbolt."

King Burh clapped his hands and four trolls appeared carrying four large quivers of thunderbolts, taking out a bolt King Burh walked past each contestant, the bolt shined brilliant silver with auras of blue, yellow, red and green. Upon the god's satisfaction, the contest began.

Perun was first, he threw his cape over his shoulder; he gripped the hilt of his sword and raised the huge sword above his head, then plunged it deep into the rock. Heavy streams of lighting shot out in every direction, crackling energy surged through the ground and brightness lit the sky. Perun looked at the judges, "I am the god of lighting."

Taranis stepped forward shaking his head, "I was not impressed." He placed his solar wheel on its edge and spun it, like a coin on a tabletop, lighting danced from the clouds in snake-like patterns. Picking up the wheel, he threw it across the sky like a discus causing the snake-like lightning to explode with bolts going in every direction giving the appearance of brilliant stars.

The judges looked in awe as Thor took his place, his blond hair swayed in the wind and his blue eyes flashed as he raised Mjollnir and bounced it off the ground propelling it high into the sky where it stayed suspended casting out bolts of lightning that appeared to bounce erratic from cloud to cloud and mountain top. Then the mighty hammer plummeted, embedding in the ground a single bolt of lightning shot into the clouds producing a clap of thunder signaling the start of the second event. Thor tapped the hammer numerous times lightly upon the ground. Thunder echoed in small intervals then grew louder, then softer, then loud again before it broke into crackling thunder. Thor smile at the judges, "I am the God of Thunder."

Taranis took his solar wheel, suspending it in the air he spun it end over end. Thunder whispered soft in the distance and grew louder as lighting kept pace, louder and louder the thunder sounded, then with a brilliant light, a giant clap of thunder echo across the sky. Taranis grabbed his wheel and faced the judges, "I am the maker of thunder."

Perun bowed to the judges, threw back his cloak and pierced his mighty sword into the rock and rocked it side to side like a pendulum. Thunder arose in drum beats. The sword was then spun like a top; the drum beats remained with rhythmic thunder in between, sounds crescendo and blended into a bellowing roar of thunder. The sword stopped and Perun raised it above his head. "No one is greater with thunder than I."

The judges uncapped their ears and whispered among themselves and then, Mo-Mo stood and clapped his hands. Three trolls appeared each with a huge goblet and placed them on the judge's table as Mo-Mo said, "These goblets are filled with the finest elfin mead and their refill is never ending, come sit and drink while we go and discuss our decision." And with that, the judges arose and disappeared. So, the three great Thunder Gods sat, drank mead, told stories and agreed that the mead was the finest they've had and laughed.

Three days later, Queen Naye reappeared along with three trolls who placed the quivers of thunderbolts on the table. "Oh great gods," she said, "We’ve decided that you are all great and equal. Therefore, each of you may have the thunderbolts. We also want to thank you for the light show that you provided for our celebration," pointing down to the glen below. Then with a raise of her hand she and the trolls were gone. The Gods drank some more and then took out the bolts for inspection, upon which, the bolts dissolved into a pile of metal ore. "What magic is this?" boomed Perun, holding the metal dust in his hand, “We’ve been fooled," knocking over his goblet, the mead spilled over the plateau turning into rain falling upon the thousands of elves, faerys, dwarves, and trolls who scrambled for shelter laughing and drunk. Many stumbled out of the glen amidst the downpour while others basked within its showers.

On the plateau, the gods watched the spectacle. "I should have known never to trust an elf," said Perun.

"Or a faery," said Taranis,

"Dwarves and trolls will follow anyone" chimed Thor.

They sat back, picked up their goblets, drank and laughed at their being tricked. Their laughter turned into rolling thunder and sparks of lightning filled the skies from their metal bracelets beating on the table. It lasted for four days before it stopped.

Hence, one should never trust mischievous elves, faerys, dwarves, and trolls. Just ask the Thunder Gods.


  • Taranis | Celtic deity |
    (Celtic: “Thunderer”), powerful Celtic deity that was one of three mentioned by the Roman poet Lucan in the 1st century ad; the other two were Esus (“Lord”) and Teutates (“God...
  • Perun | Slavic deity |
    The thunder god of the ancient pagan Slavs, a fructifier, purifier, and overseer of right and order. His actions are perceived by the senses: seen in the thunderbolt, heard in...
  • Thor - Ancient History Encyclopedia
    Thor was one of the most important and famous gods in Norse mythology. He was the son of Odin and Fyorgyn, the earth goddess. Thor was considered the storm-weather...

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