I remember the smell of the sweet summer rain as if the scent lingers in the warm atmosphere. How we played carelessly under the heavy clouds as the rainwater sprinkled in our faces. We chase each other tirelessly, splashing the pooled water on the roads. Yet our laughter was soon replaced with cries as your grandma spanks you on the way home, and there comes my mom with her mighty slipper ready to spank me as well for playing in the rain. The next day, we were both sick and sniffing so hard while eating the warm porridge your grandma prepared. We were sick but it was cozy. At that moment, we were happy, we were fearless, we were carefree.
I remember the sweet summer rain in the month of May. The sound was like a melody as the rain pours from the rooftop. The rain was heavy yet it brings about a homey vibe. We were lying under the little house we built out of sheets and blankets, enjoying the rain from inside pretending our house was real. It felt comfortable with you. At that moment, it felt real.
I remember that one heavy rain. We were fifeen and crazy. We were playing under the showering rain as we head home from school. You splashed me with pooled water from the road just like how you used to, and I chase you down the dirt road to splash you with muddy water in return. Our laughter was even louder than the rain. But then you stopped running, and then you stood still, and so I stopped. You walked towards me with that crazy grin in your face, and then you held my hands, and so I froze. Your eyes were staring deep into my soul and a chill went down my spine. I swallowed as you got closer. I closed my eyes, as you kissed my lips, so gentle, so soft, as though I was walking on cloud nine. I didn't know I loved you then.
Your kiss was as warm as the summer rain. I get the feeling as if raindrops pour on my face down my stomach and things don't make sense. But after that, I didn't know how to approach you, and neither did you. It got awkward between us. And at that moment, I thought we stopped being friends. And I watch us grow apart.
It was prom night and I gathered all my courage to confess. It was our last year of senior high and probably my last chance to ask you out. I was confidently anxoius to even face you, much more talk to you. What if you'd reject me, what if what happened between us wasn't really much of a deal, what if things really have changed. And all the what ifs punched my weak little heart when you confessed first in front of all the people in the room to the girl whose hair so auburn and could strangle me from ten meters distance. I went home, eyes raining.
Here comes college and it's time to bid goodbye. We had a really good talk , for the first time in that year. You said you're going to college with your girlfriend, and it pricks a little. Realizing that I might not see you again in a few years pricks a little more. It was drizzling when I left town, but inside me, it felt like storm. Part of me regrets not talking to you after that kiss under the rain, but mostly the part where I wasn't able to tell you how I really felt about you. At that moment, I felt weak. Only moments have passed from that goodbye, I missed you already as though decades have gone by.
Real life hits like hell, and we totally drifted apart. It finally sank in that it was over. I let go, like how the clouds let go of the rain in a downpour. A lot of things have changed, the world seemed to move so fast. Everyone and everything seems to have moved on far away from where things have began. I pursued my career in architecture and went on with my life, with all my memories with you closed down in a box inside my heart. I tried to live happy and made the most of what life can offer. I loved, I kissed, it hurts, I cried, I broke down, I drank, I party, I travelled, I forgot. At times I felt high and times when I felt empty. I haven't thought of you in a pretty long time, but I heard you became a doctor. In a very long distance and at random times, know there's someone out here being proud of you for what you have become.
I rode the train going back home. I can't help to go down memory lane and think of family and friends, and most especially you. I'm sorry I wasn't there when your grandma died, I'm sorry we weren't there for each other on hard times, and I'm sorry that we aren't the best of friends this long years. Life rained heavy I got drowned. But here I am, going home on a holiday.
I didn't tell my mom I was coming over for Christmas, and so I wasn't expecting anyone to pick me up at the station. It began to rain in the dead of night but luckily I grabbed a cab which stopped right in front of me. I was about to open the door when a hand touched my wrist. I looked up and saw a man so strikingly familiar and my heart stopped. It was you, smiling at me with great pleasure. We rode together going home. My heart leaps as I sit beside the man I've been chasing my whole life.
This holiday was exquisite. I felt young again, I felt alive. I missed my mom, our friends, and this whole place. And most especially I loved the part where we kept in touch since that day at the station. We became friends again, no more tension, no more awkward and painful feelings. We tried to catch up with each other's lives as though we were trying to get to know each other just yet. I relished the moments. I didn't know I love you still.
It was new year's eve and I gathered all my courage to confess. The count down started. Ten. Nine. Eight. I didn't care anymore about what ifs. Fuck what ifs. Seven. Six. Five. I grabbed your hand and called your name but my voice was drowned from the noise. Four. Three. Two. You hushed me and we just stare at each other for a second but it felt like everything froze, the world seemed to stop from spinning so fast. One. You kissed my lips, so soft, so gentle. I was electrified, it was raining fireflies, and things don't make sense. This time I kissed you back, and my heart was bursting with exultation. You whispered in my ear, "I'm sorry for all the missed trains. I'm never 'gonna let you slip again, my love."
It's crazy all the twist and turns, yet in the most unexpected moments, we found our way home..back in each other's arms.