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Darkness and Death Surround Me (Prose & Poetry)

Updated on February 3, 2017
Missy Smith profile image

Missy is a unique writer who enjoys inviting her readers into her thoughts through her poetry and other topics of discussion.  

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My Poetry Themes

Sadness, darkness, love, and life, seem to be my common themes for my poems. In the last poem, I wrote was about complete and fulfilling love, and I thought I would write my next article with a totally different theme. I thought I would write an article instead of a poem. However, thoughts of life seem to block my view from writing informational pieces, and I seem stuck with my common themes in poetry.

Darkness and death are the theme of this poem. In this poem, I attempt to explain how my life has been for me through childhood up until now. I think you will see that it tells the story of that undying part of me that I am. No matter if I’m in love, or even have happy days, I always drift back to my dark place that through the years has become my best friend in an odd way.

I do think today that I have rallied out of it a great bit, but it will unfailingly remain a big part of me. I will always have days of dire need to leave, to rest, to stop fighting. Yes, that is a dark way to look at life. Nevertheless, it was my way of life for so long that it is pointless to ignore that about myself. I have always had this invisible bubble around me that has outcast me and made me different. I tend not to fight that fact anymore. Poetry has become my way to deal with it, and to actually love myself for all the darkness that comes with being Missy.

Source

I Am Dark

My days are dark

no matter how

bright the sun

shines through my

window.


And I walk in the

Path of others as

they secretly judge

with innuendos.


It’s been this way

for me all my life

pretending not to

notice I’m always

the outcast.


It’s made it hard

for me to be happy

I’m stuck in this place

of continuance and

drabness.


I try diligently to carry

on, but death is such

an alluring song.


It sings all the words

I relate to, a play list

of songs that most

misfits flip repeat

to.


Sway, sway, to the

monotone rhythm

of my life, as I walk

through the valley of

my human plight.


Why is it some days

I hear death beckoning

my name; come, come,

come with me, it's

peaceful here, I will

set you free.

Source

I Am Death

A long, a long, oh such

a long time ago, I was

a shy little girl, in

her own dark world.


Why can’t I speak out

I’d scream from inside?

I’m really confused, can

I not just die…


cry, cry, but on the

inside I weep, because

nobody cares, I’m not

even seen.


Bullies surround in

all different forms;

they are little; they

are big; some claim

to be reborn.


Darkness cast its

Spell on me long

ago, I travel through

a portal with no real

tomorrow.


The only place this

struggle shall seize,

is in the depths

of a fire that's

cremating me.


When I’m ash, and

flesh no more. The

hard truth is I’ll leave

as I came; a sad mess

of no remains.

Source

© 2015 Missy Smith

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    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 5 months ago from Florida

      Hey Shyron, I do my best to write in a way that some readers will relate to what I am saying. I'm glad you found something in this piece that you could identify with. Thanks so much for reading this piece. :)

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 5 months ago from Texas

      Missy, this made me so sad, you could have been speaking of me, but although I do not fear to die I do not wish to do so.

      I love your poetry, which is amazing.

      Blessings and hugs my friend and I care.

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 19 months ago from Florida

      That makes me happy, agusfanani. Thank you for stopping by and reading my thoughts. :)

    • agusfanani profile image

      agusfanani 19 months ago from Indonesia

      Beautiful poems and I've learned some positive lessons from them.

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 21 months ago from Florida

      See Billy, we will become great friends here. You just expressed with words the way I feel as well. I am so blessed to have found you along with some other wonderful people here. I'm very excited to have you all as friends! :)

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      Bill Holland 21 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I was talking to my wife last night about my writing, and I told her I seem to have an affinity for the "dark side" in much of my writings. It's not that I'm depressed, but I have visited the darkness all too often when I was younger, and I understand it so well. Today life is good, but I never want to forget where I came from. To deny the darkness, for me, is silly. It partially led me to this good place in my life. :) I hope that makes sense.

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 21 months ago from Florida

      So nice of you to take the time to read these poems annasmom. Yes, I love that I am a part of the misfit world. Finding hubpages was really a great thing for me, I found a lot of people I relate to here. I hope you do come back by and read some more of my work. Thank You!

    • annasmom profile image

      annasmom 21 months ago

      We have all been there to some degree. Writing is a good release..and I am glad that it is the way you choose to express these thoughts. Please continue to write, and know that you are a member of a much larger club of misfits than you can possibly imagine! I will be back and read some more of your work.

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 21 months ago from Florida

      Thank you Zouhair. Please come back often. I hope you do. :)

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      Zouhair FATTAH 21 months ago

      wow that's a lot of drama, i love that. keep going u've a beautiful way to express urself :) way to go

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      Missy Smith 21 months ago from Florida

      Well, that just made me smile aviannovice. I too think I've gotten better with age and everyone else has faded quite noticeably. Thanks for all your encouraging words. :)

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      Deb Hirt 21 months ago from Stillwater, OK

      I was once an outcast, dear Missy. The funny thing is now, that for all those folks that made fun of me, they are now finding that their youth and good looks faded, and I got better with age. I became the fine wine, and the vinegar is now remembering what once was. Embrace who you are, and you will rise above all those things that pulled you down. Accept and like who you are and what you have become, and you will be led on a path of discovery. Never believe what others tell you, as you know yourself better than they do. Friends are always there for you, through thick and thin, and we all need encouragement now and again. There is strength in baring your heart and soul, for admiration comes through what we learn from the school of hard knocks. I commend you for your courage and bravery.

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      Oh, thank you. I will go read it now. :)

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      Hari Prasad S 22 months ago from Bangalore

      Very heartfelt writing missy. i dedicate my latest poem for you missy.

      https://hubpages.com/literature/Secret-revealed

      - hari

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      Thanks as always Gypsy. :)

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      Gypsy Rose Lee 22 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      Dark poetry but also deeply moving.

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      Thank you Faith. I'm not sure if it's bravery, or if it's just all I've ever known. It's who I am and a part of me. My life has seen more downs than ups, and I don't know how to write my emotions without the darkness. I don't frown on it anymore, or wish I was someone else. Like I've explained in my other comments, it has taught me to be thankful, and it has taught me to be humble and treat others as I would have wanted to be treated. That's not a bad thing. I truly believe God gives me these struggles for a reason. I'm alright with all of it now. There is beauty in darkness. All darkness and people with this aura are not bad, I'm certainly not evil, just a bit misunderstood.

      https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1938978002...

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      Faith Reaper 22 months ago from southern USA

      Dear Missy,

      You are a brave soul to bear all here through your dramatic poetry. What really hits hard for me is when you mention your childhood. My childhood was not all sunny either as I had to grow up fast seeing my dad suffer from the horrors of war and such. I did not realize at the time but many families were suffering too, and I always thought we were so different.

      It is through these dark trials in life that we truly become so strong to face almost anything that this sometimes brutal life has to throw at us for sure.

      I agree with the others that there is beauty in your darkness. God loves us right where we are and He certainly understands us like no other.

      I wish I were brave as you to write as you do, which I know is freeing. One time when I was going through much physical pain after surgery, in the middle of the night I wrote a poem, Wretched Me ...and it was so horrid. Thankfully, one of my good friends here on HP, who no longer writes here, happen to see it and was the first to comment. She said it was so very dark, but a good poem. I reread it, and unpublished it, as I thought at the time those who read me are not ready for that dark side of "Faith Reaper".

      I love your black and white photos as they add much to the overall effect of your dramatic poetry.

      Peace and blessings always

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      Very nice words that you have written here to me Venkatachari M, and I appreciate them so much.

      My children are very special to me, and of course, they see the bright side of life through me, not the dark. Although, I'm sure they know mommy is sad sometimes.

      Thank you for stopping by to read my poems and for the gracious comment. :)

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 22 months ago from Hyderabad, India

      Very much touching to the heart. I appreciate your ability to put in words all your feelings so openly and realistically appealing to your readers. Expressing openly gives much relief and lightens the soul and mind. It is a good way of getting rid of depression. You will get some satisfaction that you are able to share your feelings with others.

      I wish you get through your life with fresh hopes and joy. Engaging with children is also a great way of diverting your attention from dark moments and feelings. Wish you all the best and my hearty blessings.

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      That is a beautiful way to see it Surabhi. I like that you said taking those dark themes out with the mighty pen. It is, in fact, what I do. So, I am pleased to know you get that.

      You are also special and beautiful Surabhi. Thank you for your lovely comment. :)

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      Thank you fpherj48. You see and feel exactly what I want people who read my poem to see and feel. I spent a lot of my life with bottled up emotions, but through the years have found some kind of bravery to set them free with my written words. I'm glad you support me for this. And I'm so happy this poem touched you. Hugs and Peace to you as well. :)

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      Surabhi Kaura 22 months ago

      Hi Missy,

      First of all, I want to tell you that you are beautiful. Second, it's good that you took those dark themes out with that mighty pen and relaxed your heart. It's a good relaxation exercise of mind too. It touched me.

      Last but not the least, you have a humble soul and I want you to know that and feel that. You are special :) It would be a cherry on top to read something which gives you positive vibes. I look forward to it. Stay happy. Stay blessed that you have two wonderful children.

      Life is like an elevator... sometimes it goes up and sometimes down. Never let the darkness embrace you. You are made to reside in Light. Much love and hugs! Smile :)

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 22 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Missy, This vision of your tormented soul is breathtaking. I applaud your openness and honesty. The true raw emotions we all have within are all too often pushed aside. We fear them, but we must not.

      You have truly found the secret to embracing every part of yourself, despite the darkness. All of our experiences matter. All of them create the being we are at this moment. To ignore any part of this, is to ignore an integral part of our spirit.

      This poetry has touched me deeply. I appreciate this gift, Missy. Sending you hugs to share and peace to hold. Paula

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      Yes, word55, for the most part my poems have darker themes. However, I have written about my children, and I've written about being in love. I'm going to give myself a few days and try to find my bright light to write another poem in a happier tone. :)

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      True Dana. Poetry has helped me through some darker days. Thank you!

    • word55 profile image

      Word 22 months ago from Chicago

      Hi Missy, I'm going to ask you today to remember something really good about yourself to write about. It can be something really good that happened for you. You can turn any despair into something positive. Your poems may be dark but I know you can pull out some bright ones too. You can write about the brightness of your children, when you were 1st in love, when you excelled in school, when you won something and etc. I must admit, I would love to see the brighter side of the darkness at this point.

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      Dana Tate 22 months ago from LOS ANGELES

      Hi Missy. Unfortunately we all have those days when we feel tired. It doesn't have to be a reason melancholy will creep in our souls like a thief in the night. The wonderful thing about being a poet is- we can express those feelings, therefore, purging and releasing those thoughts when others cannot. The ability to write my inner thoughts are my medicine because it helps me to identify my struggles and healing can begin. Jodah was correct you are not a lone but a woman of strength and a survivor. Despite of everything you are still standing and others will know they will be too.

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      Yes, swalia, meditation is great. I hope I find a way to incorporate more time to do so in my life. Thank you!

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      I love the reference to the Phoenix Manatita. I also like that you said beauty in darkness. There is no way that I can forget my world of shadows and darkness. I admit I have prayed and tried hard to leave the dark side at times. But then, something happened. I found my special bond with God, and he explained to me why he chose to carry me through life this way. It's hard to explain. I feel I'm somehow light through darkness, but he doesn't want me to abandon my shadows. He wants me to be the light to the other shadows to show them they are not alone. I guess in the way that Jodah said, my honesty will help others who feel as I do realize that they are not alone in the world. (shadows)

      It is hard. I struggle with that lure of death, but I think I am supposed to. I think it's God's way of making me stronger. After all, being so lost here has shown me the real purpose of being a person. Being a child of God here on Earth, has shown me how to see beauty in everything. Differences are beauty. Nature is living. Everything has it's purpose. There are so many lost here, who think they know happiness, but they are more lost than I. I admit I get sad more often than others, but that sadness brings me to understand at the end of the day when I lay down to say my prayers.

      Now, the Phoenix reference you made was just perfect. I loved it! I will be that Phoenix one day. I will rise from my ashes, and that's when he will have set me free from my duties here on earth. He made you a guide through light Manatita; he just chose me to guide through the shadows. However, like everything, there is a purpose for that. :)

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 22 months ago from london

      An incredible epitome of beauty in darkness, Missy. Excellent!!

      Still, I am not asking you to praise the Chasms of the Night. Rather, I would have you dance to the rays of golden lanterns; soar like an eagle through the gates of Freedom. The Phoenix rises and burns its way through the portals of Paradise, and I would rather that we enter together in welcome at those gates.

      Packages come to us in life like dumbbells, and weigh us down, and karma coils, like a snake. Still, with great and earnest zeal, my message is like that of the Sage, that Grace is always the last word, and that there is nothing that cannot be conquered with an adamantine will and indomitable Spirit.

      Let us rise, together, you and I ...go beyond the realm of Shadows, to an Effulgence which dances, with the Light of myriad stupors of the Soul. Hari Om!

    • swalia profile image

      Shaloo Walia 22 months ago

      It seems as if you have poured your heart out in this one. A dark poem but beautiful!

      There was a time when I experienced similar emotions but meditation helped me a lot. Try it!

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      What can I say Jodah, I like to express all sides of myself, and this is a big part of my life. I would like to bring around some happy times. However, I usually just write my inner thoughts, and mostly they're dark. I don't know if that is unfortunate or not anymore, I'm just used to my dark side now.

      I do like Edgar Allan Poe. I mean I admire poets who are dark like him the most, because I feel such a kindred spirit with them. Again, I'm not sure that is a good thing, but I'm definitely going to take that as a compliment. The above poem of his I relate to on so many levels obviously.

      Thank you for appreciating my writing and loving me for it. I truly don't know how to be anything but brave and open with my thoughts at this point in my life, so I'm pleased to know someone appreciates that about me.

      I'll do my best to write a happy poem next time. But....I can't make any promises. lol...;)

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      John Hansen 22 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Wow Missy. These are dark poems, but what I like is that you put your whole soul and feelings out there naked and exposed for all to see. This takes great courage and I am sure your wonderful poetry will help others who go through the same anguish to realise they are not alone.

      I am glad you are now able to express your feelings at Hub Pages and that you are comfortable enough with your friends here to share these feelings. I too often feel the need to visit the darker side in my poetry, but try to counter that by making the next thing I write uplifting. When you have these dark feelings you just have to force yourself to push them aside and find something that makes you happy to take their place..no matter how hard that may be. You are a female version of Edgar Allan Poe :) and I love you. Great hub and poetry, nice photos of you too, especially the last one. Keep the hubs coming.. Looking forward to a happy one.