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Corona Boos (Covid Fiction)

'I write because there is a voice within me that will not be still' Sylvia Plath

corona-boos

Ainsley Wood

Is it just me or are men acting kind of thirsty during this pandemic?

Random dudes trying to give out their number at stores, gas stations ...

Do men think that women are more hard up?

I don't know. But I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel when I'm in the Walmart with a hoodie, baseball cap pulled down over my messy hair, sleep pants and fluffy slides on ... I'm basically looking tore up from the floor up in terms of being out in public. Yet, here comes this dude trying to holler. What do I do with that?

My first mind is to think he's some kind of lunatic with cataracts. But then, the more he talks, the more his charming words start to permeate. I mean, I'm a woman of a certain age who still lives at home with my parents, older sister and a bunch of discarded grandkids. So to be reminded that someone still finds me attractive ... It's a beautiful thing. You know?

As he talked, I forgot that my 15 year old niece, Afton, was in the SUV outside. But she was cool, probably switching back and forth between radio stations and scrolling through her phone; waiting for me to bring her a Soap Opera Digest, Teen Vogue and J-14 to thumb through. In the meantime, I twirled a stray lock of my hair around my index finger and slid a bare foot in and out of my right shoe ... He was really starting to get to me.

This was when the world was shutting down -- allegedly -- for two weeks. Back when you weren't sure whether or not to be concerned, a little put out or grateful for a reprieve from your daily grind.

At this point I wasn't even wearing a mask, though my mom was one of those people hoarding sanitizer, wipes and toilet paper. Let's just be truthful. Partly because of her perceived threat of Armageddon, but also inspired by that TLC show, Extreme Couponing. Either way, if the world fell down around us, we wouldn't be hurting for food or sanitary options ... Facts.

Like I said, I live with my folks.

I work ... But, I don't work-work ... I mean, I don't really consider blogging and doing surveys for money and prizes as work. Plus, being the techie that I am, I also get paid to run the whole media operation at my dad's church. CDs, DVDs, social media, radio broadcast ... Yeah, I'm that chick. All that and a bag of chips.

I do what I do for my dad's burgeoning ministry with the greatest of ease, then I retreat back into my bedroom, turn on some Smooth Jazz and boot up the computer for my own, personal proclivities. And that was my life. And I was fine with that. Happy. Content. Satisfied. Now here comes this Gomer/Goober Pyle trying to throw a monkey wrench in my plans by looking good, smelling good, walking that walk, talking that talk ... My Lord today ... Whew!

corona-boos

Damarion Jacobson

I could see it in her eyes ...

Corona Boos? I don't have a Corona Boo.. Might be nice.

Ainsley Wood ...

Ainsley Wood what?

Just what would Ainsley do? Hmmm ... That's all I could think of as I stood there between the magazine and DVD aisles attempting to woo her. And as far as I could tell, it was working. Veteran "mack daddy" that I am.

How much would I have to woo her to have the opportunity to loosen that thick drawstring and release those sleep pants? Dag. I was so aroused by her standing there like she was dressed for bed. Besides the baseball cap and probably the hoodie. Or did she toss the cap and sleep in the hoodie? Or was there a tank top underneath? Or was she topless underneath? Oh my gosh. Did she even have any underwear on beneath those pants? Ok, it was starting to get hot.

"Are you okay?" she asked, no doubt noticing my discomfort.

"Just wishing that we could cut out the middle man and jump from strangers to friends and lovers ... Shoot. We could even skip the whole friends thing. I'm just saying."

This type of response could turn some women off, but thankfully, in Ainsley's case, it made her blush. Which told me we were on the same page. And that made me so, so happy.

The burning question on the table: What did I have to do to speed this process up? Because to be plain and simple, simple and plain ... I was as horny as a toad. Please excuse my French, but facts are facts.

"So ... Miss Ainsley ... What are you doing after you leave here?"

"Um ... My niece is in the car ... Take her home ... Maybe do some work on the computer ... But nothing pressing."

"Oh yeah? Word? So maybe I can convince you .... after you drop off your niece .... I'm assuming she's old enough to be by herself ... Or is she someone you have to babysit"

"Oh no. She's old enough. Way old enough."

"Cool. So maybe you can drop her off and then come and hang out with me right after? I was just about to buy some movies to watch. Maybe pick up some food ..."

I was lying.

I came in to pick up some bread and milk after spending the night with this chick I met at the arcade. And then was going to try to line up another appointment with this other chick who worked nights and would be on her way home soon. But squash that. If Ainsley would come back to the flat, I'd forget about that other broad.

"Pick up some food?"

"Yeah. There's a restaurant near my place that serves breakfast 24/7. I could order us up some skillets or Omelets or pancakes or whatever and we can chill and watch some movies. I mean what movies do you like?" I asked, taking her gently by the hand and smiling to myself as it got all clammy ... I had her. She was into me.

I told her to pick 4 movies and as we walked towards the front of the store to pay for them, I let her take them possession of them. Which would be taking a chance if she decided not to meet up with me. But I had a good feeling about young Miss Wood. So I gambled on her.

I asked her for her phone and called her "Bay" when I did, pretending like I didn't notice her blushing. And as she blushed, I typed my information into her cell phone and asked her what she wanted me to order for her and how long would she be.

"Well, I gotta' change and ..."

"Naw Baby," I said, taking her face in my hands and looking her straight in the eyes. "Don't make me wait for no foolishness like that. You look perfect just the way you are. You don't need to do nothing different. Just come as you are. You feel me? And if you want, I can wait until you get there. I think I have a menu at the house."

I wasn't sure if I did. But I'd go to the restaurant and get one to bring back to the apartment if I needed to.

"Um ... Okay? I can maybe wait and see the menu?"

The unsure tone of her voice turned me on. The way she was going along with whatever I suggested. Then I sealed the agreement with that patented frontal lobe kiss. And I could feel that she thought that I was going to kiss her on the lips. Which her eyes said was too soon. But then those same eyes looked disappointed when I didn't follow through.

Be that as it may .... Within two hours, Ainsley was barefoot in my apartment and I was unloosening that thick drawstring ... And no ... She did not have on any underwear ... And when the shutdown extended past two weeks, we spent the next few months DVDing and chilling.

© 2022 LaZeric Freeman

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