------------ Aromat the Farten Hound -------
Whenever I could, I told my kids a story when I put them to bed. The elder son was very easy, I could re-tell the story of the three little pigs, The big bad Wolf. Any old story and my older son was happy
The younger son was a different kettle of fish. . . "I HEARD THAT ONE! " he would say. or even worse at the end of the hard told story complete with gesticulations and the best voice imitations I could manage . . . He would merely say "HMMMPP".
I set out to find a story that he could not have heard. A story that he could not 'hhhmmmpph' . . .
I created 'Aromat the Farten Hound', a story for little boys that like rude things, secrets and words like 'poo' and 'fart' because for some little boys these words were the funniest thing in story land and stories without them were simply not worth listening to.
I set out to find a story that he could not have heard. A story that he could not 'hhhmmmpph' . . .
I created 'Aromat the Farten Hound', a story for little boys that like rude things, secrets and words like 'poo' and 'fart' because for some little boys these words were the funniest thing in storyland.
stories without them were simply not worth listening to.
------------ Introducing Aromat -----------
There are many different breeds of dog. There are small’ tiny dogs like Chihuahuas. There are big dogs like Great Danes,
There are Clever dogs like Collie dogs (Lassie), and silly fluffy useless dogs.
The strangest and weirdest and most wonderful dog breed in the whole wide world is the Farten Hound. Farten Hounds were very much like other dog breeds except for four things.
The 1st thing was that Farten Hounds could not Poo. Whenever Aromat ate anything, he simply got bigger. If he ate a meat pie, Aromat simply grew bigger by about the size of a meat pie. There was no limit,
The 2nd thing was even more unusual, and this was that all Farten Hounds have special Scent glands, It was quite easy for Aromat to use the scent gland in his bum to make any fart smell like anything he wanted. He could fart with the smell of roses, or steak and kidney pie, or rotten onions, absolutely anything he wanted.
The 3rd thing- The cleverest thing, was that Farten Hounds also have special Colour Glands, this meant that when they farted they could do it in any colour they liked. It could be an enormous big plume of red, or even a Grey smoke coloured fart. Aromat could fart bright blue - or if he concentrated very hard, he could even fart yellow and green stripes.
The 4th thing What was the most fantastic thing of all was that Aromat could fart in tune. He could fart like a trumpet, even play different songs. He could even fart the sound of a bird chirping in a tree. There were some people that said If you could make a sound with your voice or a musical instrument or even with a stick banging on a drum. Aromat could imitate it.
Aromat was walking home on a Saturday morning and because it was one of the most delightful smelling buildings in town decided to walk home via the sausage factory.
As Aromat approach the factory, he noticed a large truck parked outside the factory doors. This was unusual as the factory never usually made sausages on the weekend.
It looked like Some thieves were stealing the sausages.
Sausages were one of the most sacred things to most dog breeds. The problem was that most dogs are powerless to act upon or stop such a horrible crime.
Aromat was still quite small as he had been playing 'fireworks' with the children that play in the park on a Saturday morning by creating the "fart and flash' display for the kids, this had shrunk Aromat quite a lot.
------ Best sausage eater in the world -------
The first thing Aromat needed to do was to get very big. Because being very small was not going to be very good in this situation.
The back doors of the truck were open, and the truck had been partly loaded with sausages. So getting big enough was not going to be very hard to do.
It is a funny thing, but if you are very small, eating a whole sausage is quite a big task, but if you get bigger, each sausage seems smaller.
As Aromat grew larger he found himself gulping down six, and even a dozen sausages at a time.
Aromat sometimes thought that he was the best sausage eater in the whole world.
"It is the size of an elephant and it’s growling"
Three men appeared at the factory door, pushing another load of sausages toward the truck. Aromat showed himself and growled fiercely.
“Holy Pancakes” shouted one of the men when he saw Aromat. “There is an animal out here the size of an elephant and it’s growling at me”. . .
The three men rushed back inside the factory, and Aromat could hear the sound of the bolts being slid across doors and the locks clicking.
‘Very good’ thought Aromat. He had got the thieves locked up.
Aromat decided that the Fire Brigade, the Police and the Ambulance were about the right amount of help he needed, and he knew exactly how to get them quickly.
Aromat instantly started a colossal fart in dark, dense smoke colour. He included in his fart the sound of a fire engine siren.
As the final touch, Aromat farted the most horrible Children's screaming sounds.
"Oh my goodness" one woman was heard to shout "There are children in there."
The Woman was pointing toward the sausage factory with all the smoke and all the screaming noises. There was a fast gathering crowd. The real fire Engine, the Ambulance and the Police turned up in a few minutes. The factory manager also turned up. He wanted to see if the workers doing some overtime were safe. One policeman looked into the truck “It is Empty” he said, “not a sausage in there” and shut the doors.
Aromat decided that everything was quite safe now and continued on his way home. The Police and the Firemen had everything under control.
Aromat was extremely proud that he had saved all the sausages.
So proud, Aromat had saved the Sausages
. . . . . . . . . . Aromat and the Rodeo . . . . . . . . . .
It was expected to be the biggest rodeo in the whole Country. The Cowboy in charge of the rodeo had advertised in all the newspaper that the feature Bull was the roughest, toughest bull in the whole wide world. Everyone was expecting a spectacular event, and the crowds were coming to town in droves.
The features bulls name was 'Devil Shadow.'
The head cowboy told all the bull riders that they would probably not even be allowed near Devil Shadow. They probably would not even be allowed into the bull ring unless they were wearing a parachute because Devil Shadow bucked so hard they would undoubtedly need a parachute to help them land safely.
All the cowboys merely said ‘Yeah, Yeah, Yeah’ and just rolled their eyes and laughed until their heads nearly fell off.
It was just horribly bad luck that the truck crashed while it was driving Devil Shadow to the town where the Rodeo was being held.
Devil Shadow was very upset about the accident. He had fallen out of the truck and had landed on his head. The back doors of the truck fell off. Devil Shadow was angrily stamping his feet and throwing a tantrum like a little calf.
Eventually, Devil was taken to the nearest hospital with a very sore head.The doctor even had to put a bandage on it.
Devil Shadow shook his head angrily and totally refused to go to the Rodeo.
"A Bull cannot refuse to go to the rodeo!" Shouted the head cowboy."Well" said Devil Shadows Owner "He Just did".
The Head cowboy shouted "I have 10.000 people arriving at the Rodeo Grounds on Saturday morning. If I do not have a thousand kilograms of rough, tough, snorting, kicking and Bucking Hell on hoofs" . . .
The rest of what he said was too horrible to repeat. And he even used words that only the very old people knew how to spell, and nobody really understood what these words really meant
Aromat looked at his paws and looked at himself.
Cats have claws that they can move in and out. "Horrible scratching creatures," thought Aromat.
Aromat was thinking that hoofs were just the same as having empty tin cans on each of your paws.
Bulls have four legs and Dogs - have four legs.
Bulls have tails - Dogs have tails.
The truth of the matter was that the biggest difference between a bull and a dog was the size. Bulls were big - Dogs were small.
The other truth of the matter was that a few hamburger stalls selling lots and lots of mince-meat and sausages could easily solve that problem.
Getting bigger was easy for a Farten Hound.
It was quite lucky for Aromat that the Rodeo was in town for the whole week because everybody eats hamburgers and sausage rolls and hot dogs at the rodeo grounds.
The butcher shop was already making up the orders for all the clubs that had hamburger stalls. There was certainly not going to be any shortage of tasty food.
Aromat remembered the words the head Cowboy had said. The words that were too horrible to repeat.
"I have to save the Rodeo," thought Aromat. "I need more size. I need to be as big as A huge Bull.
And he knew exactly how to do it as he had already seen at least one very tasty looking hamburger stall.
"That is not a Bull" shouted the Head cowboy.
"What is it then" shouted the owner of Devil Shadow."That is "not Devil Shadow" "Yes it is"
This was one of those arguments where one person says 'it is' and the other person says "no, it is not'. Then the first person says "yes 'it is'. The other person says "no, it is not" again. It was one of those arguments where you need somebody else to decide.
"Call the Vet" shouted the head cowboy. "I have never seen a Bull that can sit on the grass and lick its own bum like that."
"Get the Vet here, and we shall soon find out if that is a Bull".
Aromat, quite like the vet and gently picked him up by the neck so that his feet dangled. Then Aromat placed him on the dirt at the front of the gate where the bull runs out.
Aromat placed his paw on the chest of the vet, and the vet saw the tin cans on his paws.
Aromat licked the vet full on the face, and Aromat's tongue seemed like it was the size of a huge warm soggy, slippery, slimy wet blanket.
"WELL!" Shouted the Head Cowboy. "IS IT A BULL?"Aromat stopped licking and showed the vet his teeth. . . Then he made a very soft gentle "play with me " type growl.
"YES! " shouted the vet "IT IS WHATEVER YOU WANT IT TO BE"
"We want it to be a bull," said the owner of Devil Shadow.
"IT IS A BULL" shouted the vet with tears running down his face - "Let me go home now. Please".Then Aromat placed him on the dirt at the front of the gate where the bulls run out.
"IT IS A BULL" shouted the vet with tears running down his face - "Let me go home now. Please".
The Crowd at the Rodeo was the angriest Crowd that was ever seen at any rodeo ever. "A rodeo without hamburgers was stupid" somebody shouted.
The head cowboy was crying, tears ran down his face, and he kept saying silly things like "I want my Mummy" and he kept looking in all the most ridiculous places and saying "Where did all the food go?"
The Crowd became a lot happier when the feature bull (Aromat) Bucked the Champion rider 6 meters into the air and right over the safety rail. He bucked one rider so high that we had to use this picture because the rider landed four web pages away. It was excellent.
The Rodeo Bull was the roughest, toughest Bull ever. but sometimes he was as gentle as a pussy cat paying with a Kitten
The Crowd screamed out DEVIL SHADOW - DEVIL SHADOW - DEVIL SHADOW
When the wild Bull (Aromat) caught the Rodeo rider in his mouth while the rider was still in mid-air and then saved him from crashing into some concrete steps, the CROWD WENT WILD.
Aromat placed him gently on the ground
It was the most fantastic thing ever to happen at a Rodeo.
The crowd screamed out DEVIL SHADOW - DEVIL SHADOW - DEVIL SHADOW. Everybody cheered and waved, and the whole crowd threw cowboy hats into the air.
Even the head cowboy and the vet wore holding hands and dancing and shouting. "DEVIL SHADOW The greatest Bull there ever was"
Aromat was very pleased that he had saved the rodeo.
But, it was time to go so Aromat simply farted the prettiest fart and shrunk from the size of a bull back to the size of a puppy.
It looked like the bull just disappeared into a puff of smoke.
But it was not a puff of smoke; it was just a very pretty fart.
Just like Magic, The Bull was gone.
There was only a small puppy in the Bull ring.
. . . . . . More Aromat stories coming soon . . . .
The River Rescue
The lovely wedding
© 2020 Pat Davis
John Hansen from Gondwana Land on May 08, 2020:
Very good, Pat. I am sure your son loved this story, as would other boys. Aromat the Farten Hound is a fun character. The artwork is great.