After Professor Dan had resigned from his job at Funga University in Funga District of the Republic of Funga and started preparing to embark on his political career, his brother, Captain Charles, convened a meeting with his best friend, Bombastic, together with six other politicians to lay out a plan to cripple the professor's political plans.
"Lady and gentlemen, you are aware that I have gone to a great deal of trouble to convince my brother to resign from his job while at the same time undermining him by buying you, his campaign agents, out of his camp. I brought you here because you are his trusted agents and because you have insider information on the best way to sabotage his political plans. It is now my pleasure to give each one of you an assignment for Dan's political downfall. Mr. Bombastic, you are the chief strategist." Said Captain Charles."
"Don't preach to the converted, sir. Now focus on those six political amateurs. I will take notes." Said Bombastic.
"Good! Let's get started. Rebecca, you are going to be the chief controller." Said Charles.
"What does that mean?" Asked Rebecca.
"Your job is to manage, direct, administer, supervise and steer Dan's campaign in the wrong direction. Make sure that you control what he eats, what he says and when he says it, and where he sleeps; in other words, try to limit his movements and his progress the best you can." Said Charles.
"Why do you want us to betray our candidate, who is also your brother? You are the one who convinced him to resign from his job. Now, you are planning to undercut his political career! I just don't get this! You are the worst Judas of our time."
"What do you mean?"
"He betrayed Jesus and hanged himself."
"I love myself and I love Jesus, so I won't hang myself. My number one goal is to be a congressman in five years by all means necessary."
"I'm not yet convinced that you love Jesus."
"I'm finished with you and your Jesus, I have to move on. Daniel, your responsibility is to confuse and disrupt."
"By engendering overt threats to Dan such as the threat of leaving his camp and joining his opponent's camp if he didn't heed your advice."
"Then how do I confuse him?"
"Try to leak information to news reporters about whatever goes on in his living room and in his bedroom. Don't accept his point of view. Also, try to encourage him to engage in destructive behaviors such as publicly insulting his opponent in order to label him temperamentally unfit and dangerously unqualified to lead."
"That is not confusing. That is character assassination."
"You are hired to derail Dan's political campaign not to be my spiritual adviser."
"Okay, I get it!"
"You had better get it; otherwise, you are about to get fired. Next, Adam, you will work hand in hand with Daniel and your responsibility is to encourage Dan to engage in verbal exchanges that demean and belittle his opponents. This will damage Dan's reputation, credibility, and character. That is our number one goal."
"That is character damage!"
"Don't get obsessed with that term. Believe me, I have been in politics for over thirty years, and what I have discovered is that the truth doesn't work, lies do."
"I still believe that the truth will set us free."
"I am not a saint; saints are found in heaven."
"Those traitorous actions you are advocating for might damage my reputation and make it difficult for me to win my district counselor seat. I am not sure I was cut out to engage myself in politics of character destruction." Said Adam.
"I called for an interview and you passed the interview with flying colors; so, stop moralizing. We need your village to follow our plan."
"If you give me my facilitation, I mean my money, I'm ready to go."
"Jacob, your job is to deplete Dan's financial resources."
"How do I do that? I'm not his financial controller!"
"Now I know you people are really not politicians. But don't worry, that's why I'm here. I am here to induct you into the house of political propaganda."
"That is brainwashing!" Said Jacob.
"There you go again! Jacob, I want you to pretend that you are the best politician in your village and that in order for Dan to win an election, he has to go through you. And since you are also running for district councilor position in your village, whatever contribution he makes at any function or fundraiser you should skillfully split it in half without his knowledge. And in the end, he will find out that his campaign is running out of funds because he is funding your campaign and his."
"Why do you want us to fight your brother for you?You need to work with your brother on your future political plans."
"I don't work for my brother, I work for myself and my family."
"Thank you for reminding me."
"Ethan, your responsibility will be to carry out a smear campaign against Dan to achieve several objectives: to undermine his credibility; to call into question his reputation; and to blackmail his character. I want you to covertly engage in efforts to enervate his message and diminish his trustworthiness while making him unbelievable."
"That is the first worst smear campaign anybody can launch against a brother. Where do I start?"
"Start by making rumors, distortions, half-truth, gossips and outright machinations. I know what you will be doing lacks proper foundation; I know that a good number of people will believe you before he gets a chance to debunk your lies; I also know that my brother doesn't have the time and the resources to deflate your lies."
"All these gossips and distortions; are they really necessary?"
"They are necessary. They will damage his sunny personality that is engaging; deflate his inherent features that attract public support; disrupt the good organization of his campaign; discombobulate his state of mind that denotes calmness amidst challenging situations; disorient his high level thinking that utilizes appropriately limited resources at his disposal; and divide and rule his unique campaign team."
"I didn't know that crooked politicians within one's camp can be his or her worst nightmare than his or her real political opponents."
"You know our goal. All you need is to masquerade as his political strategists when you are guiding him in directions that truncate his popularity while keeping him under wrap waiting for the right time for me to run for the same office."
"I get it!"
"Let's move on. Daniel, your job will be to misrepresent Dan."
"How do I do it?"
"You will make false statements that call into question his character; you will make pledges and promises on his behalf that you know are not achievable in order to label him a liar when he does not fulfill those promises. Remember, we are not interested in his winning the election."
"So you are driven by your ulterior motives?"
"How many times do I have to explain myself?"
"You need to watch out! Your fraudulent and negligent misrepresentation of your brother's campaign might land you in jail." Said, Daniel.
"I am the law." Said Charles.
"Once I get my facilitation, I will get down to business."
"Ben, your strategy is to divide and rule. You need to make an effort to divide his campaign team by making him suspicious of his people in whom he trusts in order to make his team weaker and vulnerable to defeat."
"So, you are asking me to secretly plant seeds of hatred and divisionism within his camp to prevent his agents from making strong alliances with him?" Asked Ben.
"Exactly! In addition, you need to secretly bribe his supporters and agents with gifts and favors to divert their attention from carrying out his campaign plans effectively."
"I don't think that is a quality of a good leader."
"Politicians are a different brand of leaders. Telling the truth is not compulsory."
"Then I just don't understand politicians. How do you secretly foster distrust among your real brother's agents and staffers for political self-interest?"
"I want to know your decision, are you in, or you are out?"
"I am on board and ready to go."
"You are welcome!"
"Lady and gentlemen, you are now dismissed. But don't forget, tomorrow is Professor Dan's first day on the campaign trail. So, let's work together to make his campaign an absolute disaster." Said Charles.
After the meeting had adjourned and everybody had dispersed, Bombastic called Professor Dan to leak Captain Charles' political plan.
"Professor Dan, we've just concluded a very important meeting with Captain Charles."
"About what?" Asked Dan.
"About undermining your campaign. Here are the details: Rebecca will control you; Daniel will smear campaign you; Jacob will blackmail you; Ethan will misrepresent you; Adam will deplete your financial resources; and Ben will divide and rule your campaign team--not exactly in that order. I hope you get what I'm saying."
"Thank you for alarming me! Won't Charles be angry at you for betraying his trust?"
"Charles and I are in the business of betraying each other and everyone else. He betrayed you, I betrayed him. Besides, I follow the money trail. That's how I earn a living. Trust has never been in my vocabulary ever since I became a politician."
"I just can't believe this!"
"You have to believe it. Remember, when you see the people whose names I have relayed to you, ran as fast you can. It is now getting late, see you on the campaign trail tomorrow."