Absolutely Irrational

Updated on December 27, 2017


Dr. Ariel Rivera was working on the young black woman and she felt a pull in her heart. Suddenly she was overwhelmed by the scent of dread emanating from the body. It wasn't a physical smell, but a smell nevertheless.

“What was going through your mind while facing death,” she whispered. “Violence must have driven up your adrenaline. Was that enough to stave off death?”

The body was dark but shiny. It had a glossy film, almost a milky covering that gave the black skin that shine.

“Did you scream for help?” The doctor continued. “I'm sure your soul still feels the hurt. I know your ghost must be angry and confused. Wondering why you were left to die. No one came to your rescue, which made the pain feel more pronounced. I'm sure of it.”

Having a conversation with the dead instead of just completing the autopsy was happening more often for the doctor. She did find it relaxing and unnerving.

The young dead black woman from the city projects was beaten and then raped. Her mother worked several jobs to pay the bills and save for her only daughter's college. Living in the housing projects was the only way to save extra money. She worked for her daughter's future because she had none of her own. When the doctor's assistant told her the back-story of Abby Jenkins, and her mother, that really crushed the doctor's heart.

She paused and then realized she was holding the dead girl's hand. She released it slowly and tapped it three times for no apparent reason at all.

Helping someone when they are being attacked or even after the fact must be considered absolutely irrational. That's what the doctor kept thinking when she looked at the naked body. A young person who would never see another minute go by and her last hours were brutal.

Her mother taking on more shifts so that she could save for the funeral. She hasn't seen her daughter's body yet because she just had to work. To bury someone isn't free.

The doctor wasn't sure about a lot of things, but she was so sure about Abby's mother. A dedicated hard working woman who contracted AIDS from her drug addict boyfriend, but still didn't stop living to create a future for her daughter. A future stolen right from under her.

When she got the news about her daughter she crumbled to the floor, but only for a few moments. She got up and thought about a perfect burial. She had to work until everything was paid off, regardless, of the circumstances. She would cry much later.

She would work hard even if misery and dread dominated her thoughts every waking minute and nightmares when she slept.

There was no plausible explanation for why Abby's mother who has AIDS could be as strong as she was for her daughter. Living was a cruel joke, but the strength had to be given to her by God. It had to because there was no other reason behind the explanation. It just had to be God.

© 2017 Frank Atanacio

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    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 7 days ago from Shelton

      thanks again Nikki bless you

    • nikkikhan10 profile image

      Nikki Khan 7 days ago from London

      Of course only God can give such strength to bear and heal your wounds up.

      And God does His work very well as we normally feel less pain with the passage of time.

      And yes time is a great healer too.

      An amazing dead body's note and mother's grief over death of her future dreams.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 4 weeks ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Savvy..:)

    • savvydating profile image

      Yves 4 weeks ago

      When I think of all the hard working women out there who work like dogs with no thanks and no reprieve, it makes me feel very sad. I've witnessed this truth. Indeed, life can be so unfair. You captured the pain of this reality perfectly and eloquently. So beautifully written, Frank. Your work is profoundly good. Thank you for being a part of Hubpages. You make us better people.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 5 weeks ago from Shelton

      thank you for visiting and it's good seeing you again Richard

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 5 weeks ago from West Virginia

      Oh Frank, I truly miss reading your stories. You capture all the important details and emotions, keeping me hooked until the very end. A rare talent.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 5 weeks ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Pegcole..:)

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 6 weeks ago from Dallas, Texas

      You skillfully drew me in with your words and evoked sympathy for the grieving, hardworking mother along with the daughter. The empathy from the doctor was palpable as she worked on the deceased and talked to her. Nicely done.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 6 weeks ago from Shelton

      Shyron, thank you so much for the comment!

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 6 weeks ago from Texas

      Frank, I feel for Abby and even more for her wonderful mother who has lost everything. You are a fantastic writer.

      Blessings always

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 7 weeks ago from Shelton

      thank you MsDora and a happy new year to you and your family Frank

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 7 weeks ago from The Caribbean

      What a wonderful tribute to all the mothers like Abby's who determine to beat the odds for their children's sake! Tribute to God too, whom you recognize as the Source of their Strength. This is so real.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 7 weeks ago from Shelton

      Thank you Cynthia and you take good care

    • Cyndi10 profile image

      Cynthia B Turner 7 weeks ago from Georgia

      Brilliant, as is your style. Take good care! Cyndi

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 7 weeks ago from Shelton

      I know clive me neither..:(

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 7 weeks ago from Jamaica

      Not getting notifications! Great one.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 7 weeks ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Nell Rose

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 7 weeks ago from England

      Your stories always make me think. In this you made that poor girl so human and sad, and of course there was the irony of the situation too, another great take on a sad subject.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 7 weeks ago from Shelton

      LOL, I'm Laughing Missy, with that Buck it up babe.. remark you made ... cool.. I can hear my characters saying it

    • Missy Smith profile image

      Missy Smith 7 weeks ago from Florida

      I can always relate to every character you put in your story; The doctor, because if I was in a job like that, I would be talking to them too. I think about the same things she does when I see similar stories in the news, or if I'm watching a crime show re-enacted. My mind can't help but drift to what the victim must have gone through or was thinking as her/his life was being taken.

      Furthermore, I feel the poor mother's pain. The pain of struggling alone, doing your best, along with all the bad luck life has promised. I get her. It makes you stronger. It sadly becomes a - buck it up babe, you have no choice scenario. It is God as well. Because, in some circumstances the invisible one is all you have to turn to for comfort. If God isn't real, and we won't know until we get there, but if he isn't, at least we have the promise of him to cling to when needed.

      Your stories are always sad. Not only for the losses, but for the reality into the world you capture that we live within today.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 7 weeks ago from Shelton

      thank you for always showing up Flourish...

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      How sad. Some lives are filled with more questions than answers. You captured the simultaneous resolve and despair perfectly.

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