Nazmun loves writing and watching movie and reading books. Now she wants to take a break and write for Hubpages.
When the sun shines on my face, I look at it with soft eyes. One more day of life begins. One more day without you. I can't believe you left me. I remember that one era ago. When I first saw you. That was the spring season. My favorite season. Flowers and bees in the trees. The fragrance of flowers in the air. Birds were playing in the sky. The leaves of the dried tree are blowing in the wind. I was admitted in the tenth class of the school. You're new too. When I got off the rickshaw, my eyes fell on you. There was not a smile on your face. Clear scars on the cheeks. Black spots under the eyes. You look so tired. You want to rest but you can't. She was coming to school slowly slowly. I don't know what happened to me. I feel like my time has stopped. I think you are more beautiful than spring. My eyes did not move from your tired look. In fact, I could not even look back. You go straight to school with a serious attitude.
Didn't even look back and forth once. I also follow you unknowingly. Like you're a magnet and I'm iron. The first thing people say is that first sight love is not true love. I thought these are lies.
It's been 12 years since you left the world. You have left me in a huge sea of pain. I can't find any shores. How do I save myself? Your death casts a shadow over me.
Ah if I could get you back. Then I would take great care of you. I would take care of you with these two hands. I would not hurt at all. You should feel safe with me, Moon.
Today is January 29. I first fell in love with someone 12 years ago. I imagined myself in the middle of the sky. I thought I was the happiest person. Her name is Moon. The girl is the best beauty to me. To others she may be nothing. She was a girl who never talked to anyone. Didn't want to come to school but was very good at studies. She wanted to study while sitting at home. Moon did not tolerate human contact at all. That is why Moon has had to endure many insults. She was called autistic. I thought maybe everyone calls her autistic in order to anger her. but later I found out she was actually autistic.
I was waiting for Moon at the school function. She didn't know I was waiting for her. She never came to any function. Whether she knew it or not, I liked waiting for her. That is why today, 12 years after her death, I did not get married. I will not. Never. I love her. It is not possible for me to get married. May we meet in Paradise InshaAllah. Will Moon recognize me? She doesn't know me in particular. I never got her attention. Never said - Moon I love you.
At school I was Moon's senior. She changes schools every year. Moon was admitted as a ninth grade student this year.
Friends would go out in between classes. I used to talk about various issues. I used to look at the ninth class classroom again and again. The day the moon came, my heart would be full of happiness. There is another kind of peace in seeing her. Her eyes seemed to a ocean. There were always tears in the magical eyes as if she would cry now. There is a permanent scar on the corner of the eye. Probably hit by glass. How could this girl be sitting alone!
As a senior, I can talk to her, can't I? Still did not dare.
I looked helpless every day. My chest started to ache. Every day I could see the scars on Moon's face. Those spots were new spots. Moon was not good at sports. But our rogue sports teacher continues to hit Moon one by one with a scale in front of everyone. Surprisingly Moon didn't feel anything. There were no tears in her eyes. Moon didn't even utter a word. I was very angry. Moon was being hitting in front of me. I couldn't do anything!
I hit the wall one by one and injured my own hand. There was blood on my hands. Yet my anger did not subside. I had a fight with our sports teacher. No one knew why. There was no opportunity to ask. I was kicked out from the school. Later I heard that Moon had a high fever. Admitted to the hospital. I left everything and went to Moon. Although Moon did not say anything in front of everyone that day, inside she was burnt with humiliation. I know Moon's family is not happy about it. I know very well that they used to oppress Moon inhumanely. Moon did not get any love in life?
I will give her love. I will love her the rest of my life. But Moon never recovered. She left me, she left this world. I did not cry when I got the news. I didn't cry. I just feel a big stone on my chest. I can't get it down. I want to keep this stone in the memory of Moon forever. I will love Moon forever. She is dead. It's good. My Moon is free from all troubles.
I know very well what a joy it is to hold on to her memories.
A regret remains. I could never tell Moon what was on my mind. I never got her attention. Couldn't sit next to her. I could not hear the words of sorrow stored in her chest. But I am grateful to Moon for giving me the most beautiful spring.
© 2022 Nazmun Nahar