report

You've Got a Message "Re: Pressing Matter"

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Disclaimer

All mistakes are intentional, even those that are not.

Understand at your own discretion.


Dedicated to Maja Dežulović

Spoiler Alert # Zero

Source

This Is Neither

This is neither a poem nor an essay

It’s an invitation for a conversation,

A mental piece

It’s a coffee table open letter

Compulsory for every guest to read

It’s a Facebook status that spilled over

Into a messy hub-bituation fallout


It’s a speech with a screech

A patch with a scratch

Neither polished nor thought over

Well, maybe a little

Well... I just could not help myself


Source

Strategic Positioning

I’m placing this magnificent mental peace

In the mental health section

Because only mental health challenged

Aka mental health lack thereoves

Can get away with non-standard (read creative) formats


Intentional Is

Intentional is lack of punctuation

When we talk, we don’t “see” punctuation

Capitalization or whatnot

And we do just fine, don’t we?


Intentionals Are

Intentional are blocks of speech

I chose to write as I speak

Not in full sentences or paragraphs

But in packets of five to seven words

Heavy on unnecessary repetition

The way spoken language works


These days

Overwhelmed by progress

and chocking on information pollution

We no longer read

We scan instead

So, I dare say

That my way of writing

Is not up to date

It is up to the future

Me being far ahead of the progress and all


Source

Whiling Away

While attention span decreased

Amount of writing increased

We write more than we read

Because let’s face it

Writing is more addictive than reading


Spoiler Alert #1: It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This

Text is subject to update without notice

As I was writing this piece

I lost focus

So you can stop reading now

If you managed to get this far, that is

Which I seriously doubt


If You Can Think

If you can think of any other disclaimers

Necessary and otherwise, please let me know

In the Communication Lounge

aka Comments Section


If you don’t read this magnificent opus,

You miss a spectacular opportunity

To meet an exceptionally unique person

Wallowing in her sparkling non-senselessness

In other words, you won’t miss much


Facebook: Mystery Woman, Mystery Talk

Who is this lady?

I don't know. I took the picture, Maja wrote the text.

Maja:

Why is this lady sitting alone? Were you with her and then got up to take the photo? Or was she sitting across from you? Maybe the person she sat with got up just before this moment. If she's alone, why? Work break? Some time before picking up the kids from school?

You don't have to answer. I'm playing guessing games at your photos. It's kind of fun!

Photo Tripping #1

Dear reader, if you read this Mental Piece, you are better off looking away
Dear reader, if you read this Mental Piece, you are better off looking away | Source

Maja. Moreover:

Moreover, why is she sitting by the wall? And facing it? It's like she doesn't want to be seen! Why is she hiding?

Maybe she's like the woman from Gone Girl! Maybe she's pretending to be dead, or worse yet, maybe she killed someone? Was that kitchen the scene of the crime, just the part of the room that was unaffected? So, if we had a panoramic view of the kitchen, we'd see that there was in fact blood and perhaps even a body lying on the floor... :O

This story is getting interesting!

The Wheels of Forrrr-cebooking

Facebook

Facebook

Like toilet paper

Keeps rolling, rolling, rolling

Turning, turning, turning

Yearning, yearning, yearning

Oh, no, it’s a song

It has nothing to do with anything

Just post it on Facebook and move on

Nobody cares.

Moving on,


Just like

Just like any social media

Facebook is a Palace of Insanity

Where the Madness party goes on 24/7

Year in and year out

“Hello. My name is...

“Who is this?”


According to Facebook, I am and I do Mostly This

 I find the word "Dasein" especially endearing.
I find the word "Dasein" especially endearing. | Source

I am your friend and my name is Facebook

Yet I could never manage

A conversation with Facebook

No matter how many times it tried

“What’s on your mind?” asks Facebook

“Hell if I know”, says I

“How are you feeling?” continues Facebook

“What do you care?” says I

“We care about you,” insists Facebook

“Really? Why?”


Never Have I Been to Either Japan Or Brazil

But Facebook

But Facebook is wonderful say other people

It allows me to have 6,000 friends

Without Facebook I would have never ever ever

Share , talk or post

Or get lost in time

By watching an infinite roll of videos

Which I can easily do without

Or having conversations

Which I can easily do without

Lengthy pointless infuriating conversations

With people I don’t know


I am no different

Just like many other people

I am glad that Facebook exists

Just like many other people

I was hurt and wounded

By doing stupid things on it

Just like many other people

I thought that Facebook was a waste of time


It Can Happen to You

No Matter

No matter how much I might regret

Saying things I wished I didn’t say

Or losing things I wished I had saved

No matter how much I hate or love

Magnificent Graffiti on my wall

The wheel keeps turning, turning,

My wall keeps rolling, rolling,

And I keep yearning, yearning

To get it all back

Why on earth?


My son tells me, “You keep EVERYTHING”

Implying that I am a hoarder

Which I am not

I only keep things of value

What has value to me?


What Has Value to Me?

Memories, memories, memories...

Social media changed the way we communicate

Writing is faster

Thinking is slower

Remembering is impossible

Writing became verbose and repetitive

We don’t remember what we said

When, where, why, to whom

And most importantly

Why?

Source

Social Alert #3: Things Spin out of Control

Who has time, patience and wits

To keep track of all what’s been said

On social media?

Honestly?

RATS!


There were experiments on rats

Their brains were wired in a way

That by pressing a button

They experienced a climatic pleasure

They kept pressing the button

They did not eat, they did not sleep

They did not do anything else

They kept pressing the button

Until dropping dead from exhaustion


We thought or were told

Wait, where did I read this?

That, ha-ha-ha, rats died from pleasure


Well, they did not

They were not driven by pleasure

Rats became slaves of repetition

Were they to discontinue their pressing frenzy

They would experience withdrawal

And we all know how well it goes

But that’s rats, right?

It's Not What I Am Talking About

See? I Got Addicted to This Song

We Are, Ha-Ha-Ha

We are no different

The nature of addiction is the same for all

We keep pressing buttons

Soon enough there is no pleasure

We crave repetition

We keep pressing buttons

Driving ourselves to insanity

Into the ground

And dying from exhaustion

Sounds familiar?

Ha-ha-ha

Not funny, not funny at all


Source

Typing, Typing, Typing

So, we get addicted to pressing buttons

Aka typing, writing, communicating

Everywhere with everyone

We keep writing, writing, writing

Endlessly repeating ourselves

Pages keep rolling, rolling, rolling...

Disappearing in the digital maze

Yet we keep pressing buttons, keys

Contributing to digital communicative pollution

Turning ourselves

into the Generation “I cannot take it anymore” zombies

While the speed of this Informational Madness picks up


Is It Any Surprise That You Are Crazy and I Am Out of My Mind?

Even When I Lose I'm Winning

We keep pressing buttons

Saying the same thing

Over and over and over

Again and again and again

While forgetting why are we doing it?

We lose, lose, lose...

And I hate losing my stuff

I hate thinking that what I have written

I have written in vain

By creating more and more

We lose more and more


My Dear What's Your Name?

Or So I Thought

Until one day Facebook asked me

Do you remember that five years ago today

You met such and such person?

No, I don’t, but thank you for reminding me

That I have to remove him from my Friends List

I get a reminder and an opportunity

To delete, to clean up the “so many years ago created mess”

Yet I rarely do

I always hesitate

Hesitation means indecision

Indecision means ambivalence

No, it doesn’t

Wrong word,

Who cares?

Moving on,

Indecision leads to inaction

And so it stays

Because it will disappear soon enough


Your Nemesis

Or So I Thought - Refrain

Until I realized that

Facebook is keeping tabs

It remembers everything


And if I wish to see my memories (I do)

I can

Only as a string of todays

One year ago today

Two years ago today

All the way

to my very first year on Facebook

Today


At first I was simply curious,

Then often embarrassed,

Grateful that I could save things

I wished I had saved back then

Euphoric that I could delete things

I wished I had never posted in the first place

Well, little by little

More or less consistently

I began dating myself on Facebook


Donde Estas Yolanda?

Take a Hint

Where are you, where are you, Yolanda?

What happened, what happened, Yolanda?

I have looked for you, Yolanda,

And you are not there


Intermission

I am still addicted to button-pressure

But now I spend too much time on

Cleaning up what should not float

In the Triple Double You


My speech is getting slurry

My vision is getting blurry


This is the point

(There is no point here)


Special Alert # "I Lost Track"

My time is up

And off I go

And when I go

I go off


How is this relevant?

How is anything at all relevant?

End of transmission and

Over to you, my Mystery

Reader


For Those Who Fell Asleep

"Todo pasara, Maria".

Everything will pass.

Such is life. Such is life

I concur

Time to Wake Up

© 2016 kallini2010

Comments 17 comments

MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 weeks ago from South Africa

Well, this is the modern way of saying exactly what, we believe it was King Solomon, said some time BC - and I have done this and that, and at the end everything has come to nothing. The entire history of mankind is a repetition, or shall I rather say a rehearsal of being alive. What is, was, and will be again....

Interesting experiment on rats. Human behavior, animal behavior, the behavior of every existing object, even the things that are no longer alive, but still in a state of existence, are truly fascinating.

But oh, at the end of the day it all comes to nothing, as I will no longer be able to see, hear, smell, taste, or tick whatever makes me tick.

BTW, Facebook does satisfy needs I happen to have even before Facebook (and Hubpages, for that matter) came into existence.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 weeks ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Dear Martie:

Thank you for your comment. I don't know how this piece reads.

I started writing one thing, ended up veering in three different directions, stayed with this one, wrote five drafts, lost my point and still decided to publish and open the floor for discussion.

I was not making case for or against Facebook, I'm not sure if it is clear. But then again, we go at such speed that nothing is ever clear.

I'm glad to have all that wonderful options, Facebook included, but I also feel that by going so fast we end up doing too much for too little. So, I'd like to clean up "my house", my records and such. In all those years I "pressed too many buttons" - I don't want to delete it all, but I cannot keep it all. So, I have to make decisions which buttons to press.

Facebook gives an option of accessing "memories" which is wonderful. Keeping track and saving stuff on FB is not easy. HP is much more "copy-and-paste" friendly.

I hate, hate, hate losing my work and would be upset if one day HP will announce "Sorry, folks, the party is over. Pack up your stuff and go."

There were cases in my life like

"this web-site is no longer accessible, irrevocably";

"this hard drive is fried permanently with all your pictures for a few years."

Yes, we should take precautions, save our work in three different places, be selective and ruthless with all the junk before we get buried under it.

Maybe digital photography is the best analogy:

yes, it is so much easier to take pictures now;

but pictures became more vulnerable in a sense that storage devices are going to last only so long and no one, even professional photographers, cannot keep up with it

and, the ease of taking images created so many of them that it is so hard to delete and clean up and be efficient. It's sheer insanity.

Maybe at some point we will adjust, people are known for that, but right now, I feel that we are all at this Madness Party.

While other people are well and functional, I am drunk and incapacitated lying under some remote table in the corner of the room. Still typing. But I will get better. [I'm joking]

Cheers,

BTW, by the end of the day as you say, you may cease to exist by all that stuff resulting from you pressing so many buttons will remain and so you will live as long as it is being saved, kept and read.


Joanna Pilatowicz profile image

Joanna Pilatowicz 4 weeks ago from Germany

Wow! I could sing that.... ;)

Please help me to frame it better. In dance it is so easy to say at certain point: you are not dancing, YOU ARE DANCE...

so how would that sound with writing... as I have a feeling writing for you is the most natural thing on earth.... You are THIS..... (writing)


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 weeks ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Dear Joanna:

Thank you for your comment. I'm glad you liked my article. As far as framing goes, I'm afraid it doesn't go very far. I've been soul-searching in earnest for years and I have found the answer: "There is no such thing". However, in order to accept this answer, one has to go through multiple stages of searching. No one would torment himself looking for things if he did not believe they were missing or lost in the first place. But if a soul had a permanent core why is it so hard to find?

Life is so much easier than we tend to think and I know that it is easy to learn. Why do we keep insisting on learning Newton's laws in school rather than self-understanding, communication and art? If I was an educator, I would have revolutionized the whole system. (Well, there is one definition for me - people tend to think that I am a teacher. I'm not, but I can live with the definition. Maybe I should have been one).

Just as music and dance, life if fluid and so are people, and there is nothing more futile than trying to pinpoint a fluid. It can be contained here and there, but it will invariably take the shape of the container.

So, coming back to framing -

- I think you have said it - maybe not so much as "I am a singer, a dancer and a writer", but maybe an entertaining mirror in which everyone sees his own reflection.

You see singing and dancing because you are a dancer, so am I. I'm not a professional dancer and never was trained in any meaningful or consistent way, but I'm a natural. I know that dancing is ultimately about joy, not technique. I would say that everyone can and should dance (& sing).

People say that I am an entertainer, a philosopher, an interpreter of absolute, a comedienne and what not.

I would call myself a dancing Socrates with a paint brush. In short, an artist!

Thank you again for reading

and have a joyful day!


Joanna Pilatowicz profile image

Joanna Pilatowicz 4 weeks ago from Germany

Oh dear! I can totally relate to you on so many levels. That all would make us converse probably for hours!

I had no idea you are a dancer too and so many things! You are ALL and extraordinary creative... Such impression you give me from your writing. And that is only writing. I could only imagine the rest! Great!

I wish I could change the world, make more differences for artists and in education... I even started a project, but it is very challenging business... But well... being an artist is not something you can choose...

Like being a shaman, it is a call... ;)

All best to you!!!

(wish to see your other work, hmmm ;)


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 weeks ago from Toronto, Canada Author

I believe everyone can be and should be an artist (I may put a slightly different meaning to the word). All people are creative, but most of them are unaware of it and in complete denial.

- Oh, I have two left feet!

- No, you don't. Which you can plainly see because you are not blind either.

- Oh, but I cannot sing. Oh, but I cannot this and that...

All comes down to culture and nurture (not so much nature). Creativity is apparently a discipline (like philosophy) and people have Master Degrees in it. And the person who taught this course was the most boring (I'm exaggerating) person ever.

If he can teach creativity... But I think in the near future, it would become a necessity. We cannot continue moving forward doing senseless things. You know there is a difference how one will move if there are rules and when there are not. With rules, a person feels entitled to the right of way, without rules one would navigate on his own. (My theory of movement)

As far as calls go - I don't know - some people have aptitudes, passions (the word "passion" comes from the word "suffering" and goes on to become "a patient") and magnificent obsessions (speaking of addictions).

Maybe it all comes down to the whole situation and all contributing factors. But if one feels that he has a call and follows it - it sounds like a perfect match.

I don't have a call, I have the whole telephone company! No, maybe it's all about music - one plays one instrument and others conduct the whole thing. Orchestrate, choreograph - I must be in the creative mood today!


Joanna Pilatowicz profile image

Joanna Pilatowicz 4 weeks ago from Germany

Exactly! That is all so complex.... and so easy...

People kids from nature are creative then they loose parts of self, get blocked, forced to be robots in society and don't even have own thoughts.

I am afraid people who run the world will always need others to work for them. Maybe we don't have apparent slavery but hidden slavery we do. Well... none of us can change that. For example I think for a human being to sit in a office for 8 to 16 hours is deadly, making you stupid and killing your creativity, your potential... But if I say it, I will get this weird look and question: Joanna, but we have to make money, then how?

And all this money thing... is a tool to keep you in line...

I am a teacher and I didn't want to ;) I love to work with adults and totally not with kids. Primary schools here facing some problems, which is too big topic to write about more but basically... it is not possible to apply your idea of teaching (though me too, I loved Summerhill schools ideas, where kids decides, are encouraged).

Here... you enter chaos and nobody hears you. You have to punish in order to be respected. And some cultures don't respect woman a teacher. So you have extra work to do... I love to teach in dance schools and I hate to teach in public schools....

Haha.. so funny with this call... yeah... wording... I like how you play with words. You inspire me! Thank you!

Hmmm passion... always to me was deep wanting, but you are so right... it comes from suffering

I m gonna look for you.... ;)


Majadez profile image

Majadez 4 weeks ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

I was a rollercoaster junkie. I once rode them all day long... Now I'm also addicted to that song!

This is brilliant Svetlana! Thank you for dedicating it to me.

I have read through it twice and watched all the videos. Going through it has felt like viewing a series of quick flashbacks into our conversations and things that I have thought and felt. I don't know how to begin to give an adequate response. Give me a day or two to collate my thoughts and emotions into words.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 weeks ago from Toronto, Canada Author

I'm glad you liked it, Maja.

You can take as much time as you need. I feel that sometimes (often, always) I give myself a word "don't do this again, don't say too much, don't get carried away, don't type too much, don't have conversations on Facebook because it is so hard to preserve them before they get "rolled away") and yet, I did just that.

On the other hand, I tell myself, "do this, respond to this, call this one and that one" and yet I don't.

It's funny when you have something to say, you will. So, when you feel the need to say it, please do, if not, this Comments Lounge is always open.

I'm thinking how I can continue - either this theme or creativity and education, because our new friend Joanna seems to share our thoughts. We all live in different countries, but share the same ideas because they are universal and simply are common sense.

We, "the sick people", are not an aberration, we are the norm, being attentive and sensitive gives us an edge.

So, let your creative mind take it at your own speed or pace.

Did I ever tell you that creativity and procrastination sleep in the same bed?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 weeks ago from TEXAS

I must return and really read it after the election. It's to look forward to for then! Hugs.


Majadez profile image

Majadez 4 weeks ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

Hi Svetlana.

It has been a crazy couple of days!

Yesterday Trump won the US presidency, but other things happened...

I got to see the house of my ancestors, where my grandfather was born. It was a strange feeling - walking around an old house and feeling so connected to it. It is a four-storey stone building, mostly still the original construction. There is just a new roof and there was electricity added throughout the house, but no indoor plumbing in the original house. I also got to see portraits of my great-greats... I recognised them from some of my own, but don't know exactly who is who. I think my great-grandparents and their parents. I will ask. My uncle sold the house a few years back and the new owner showed it to us when he learnt that it's my ancestral home. The wonderful thing is that I get to pick books from there and he offered to give me the portraits since they are of no significance to him... Anyway, I'm rambling on. I can't adequately describe it, but it's a beautiful house. It was like a small adventure exploring it yesterday, like stepping into the lives of people from the 18th and 19th centuries... Luke described the house as "heavy with history". I wonder what those people might have thought of their descendant walking through the house 200-300 years later! Probably not at all what they expected...

In other news, there were flash floods in Johannesburg. Roads and vehicles were ruined, and people died. The beauty of it is that people worked together to save each other from drowning. These floods aren't common, but each year the heavy rainfall and hail gets worse. It's climate change. It's happening now.

All of this reminded me of your comments on the election. I read them, but chose to reply here in order to use this platform as you intended, and avoid losing myself in countless posts on Facebook. Yes, people are upset about President Trump, but there are bigger issues that need to be addressed. The world is changing now and we need to work together to survive! It's not important what Trump or anyone else says. Mother Nature does not follow the rules of legislation or government policy. Hopefully, the silver lining will be that we will become more connected to her and each other. But first we need to recognise what is really important to us.

Tell me... Why do creativity and procrastination sleep in the same bed? :)


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 3 weeks ago from Toronto, Canada Author

My dearest Maja:

1. Yes, the whole idea behind this article which I found so hard to push out was to create a space for conversation. I realized that HubPages could not compete with Facebook in its immediacy, but once we feel that the conversation is being sucked into the black hole that is WWW (which I called Triple Double You), I find HubPages lounge to be a much better option.

2. Others could participate, too. Funny, that this simple task made me publish two articles instead of one and work on yet another.

3. So, coming to the points that you made. “Rich in history” – I think you need time to sink into it. Maybe “deep in history”? That sounds to me like a unique experience. Your great-greats would have never guessed how and what and when and who... Neither can you even imagine? Though you can speculate, which means think, yet comes from the word “to see”.

4. You have an advantage of writing your life for your successors, even though you would be the first one to benefit from it and the one who would benefit from it the most (awkward, but I don’t know how to edit it).

5. I envy your experience – how do you feel about it now? What are the plans for that house? Having old books seems like finding a treasure. Do you wish to document the way the house looks now. What I mean to take pictures?

6. This might look clinically insane – the way I am writing – point by point, but I find it more manageable.

7. I also decided to split the response in a few posts.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 3 weeks ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Trumpiness and Trumpets:

I agree with you that people care about what happens in their homes and their backyards. Trump & Company and the whole election – the more I think about it – it was a huge show, people laughed, people are still laughing, people will continue laughing. The show goes on. It’s only a distraction from the real problems.

Laughing too much and not noticing that the election is a comedy show – I see it as a huge problem. It’s like a ridiculous ad – you scoff, you curse, you laugh – but in the end, it stays in your head. It’s the one that gets talked about. But, of course, to me, when we have a power outage – is much bigger problem on a scale of things that I care about.

Remember how I proclaimed the Great Dependence Day – I live on the top 20th floor and I depend on the elevators. The day when both of them did not work was not pleasant. Especially, that I had to go all the way up the staircase in complete darkness with my 74 year old mother – it was not funny. Plus we did not have power, therefore we did not have water – therefore we had no toilets privilege. It’s a chain reaction – and Trump Show compared to our immediate problems is nothing.

I do care, but I am trying to make a point that we “start moving and thinking” when things break down completely. I believe the turning point in caring about climate change would be when it becomes too costly to deal with all the damage from floods and destructions. We have to think about personal agendas. What is Trump’s or Hillary’s personal agenda? Taking care of people? Right.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 3 weeks ago from Toronto, Canada Author

The most interesting point for you and me and all people (artists in the making)

What I noticed you and I share – being oversensitive to mindless repetition, repetition mindless and senseless. So, we can fire up our engines by curiosity, but when the curiosity is satisfied we lose steam and self-esteem.

That’s why being able to function while learning seems the best cure for both of us. Curiosity and engagement. We both respond well to impulses, but not so much in a situation like “I’ll do it later”, because “later” these things have no need to be done.

Here I am losing my point completely – so I really have to sleep on it, but I’ve already written a lot for both us to ponder on.

Are we original thinkers? Or just unconventional?


Majadez profile image

Majadez 3 weeks ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

Svetlana, I feel like you've read me like a book!

I haven't yet read your second post so I'll read it first, then comment.

The numbers are useful because they help us keep track of points and replies in the conversation. I'll apply them when I respond.


Majadez profile image

Majadez 3 weeks ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

1. I think immediacy is not a necessity. We can procrastinate about our messages/responses better that way.

2. I love that this has inspired you to write more. I'm loving taking this adventure of words, music and pictures with you.

3. I like "deep in history". That is what it feels like. The more I find out, the deeper I sink into it. The other day a friend of ours visited and he said that the past should be left in the past, because you may discover good things, but you can discover family skeletons too. I disagreed. I love learning more about my family's history. I don't mind skeletons, because I don't really think that they are "mine", if that can be said. It's like discovering a story, which is richer and has a deeper meaning because I am a part of it. In a sense, I am part of the end of the story (so far).

Also, those skeletons have helped me in the past. They helped me understand that this soul affliction I suffer from is partially genetic. It helped my father recognise behaviour in me that he'd seen in his aunt, who suffered from the same affliction, therefore he acted quickly. My grandfather's youngest brother also died as a result of the disease (also because that is what happened to my dad's aunt, his sister). There is a portrait of him in the house. It was always stuffed and hidden at the back of wardrobes, never hung up because of the shame of what he did. He was even kept a secret from some of the children in the house. This year I decided to hang up his portrait. Because he is an important part of the family because of what he suffered, and how it has helped better the understanding of those who followed.

4. I've sometimes thought about writing to/for my successors. But when I think that this house is full of old postcards, letters, shop ledgers, and other family documents that I've never read although I'm so interested in my family's history, then I think it's pointless. Maybe I'll get to them one day. I guess what I write might one day be useful or amusing to someone. But I like what you say, it doesn't matter. It's for me now. What happens later just adds to benefits and makes it potentially more meaningful.

5. Right now the owner of the house is just preserving it and using it for storage. It will take a lot of money to restore or renovate it so he explained that it's a project that he'll leave for later, or maybe even for his children. He put a new roof on it. As long as it remains dry, with the windows shutting out the elements, it will be preserved in its current timeless state (I don't think the inside has been touched much in the last 50 years).

6. This is not insane at all. It is a way of organising our conversations for better navigation. The next points I'll use for your other questions under 5.

7. How do I feel about it now?

Ever since I saw the house, I want to go back. I just want to be there and walk through it at my own pace, feeling the family/familiar air and the way those people lived. It sounds a bit "woo-hoo-hoo" (weird/crazy/insane) so I don't know exactly how to ask the owner to go back. But luckily I won't have to. Luke is helping him move stuff out the house so I'll go then, and I will return for the portraits, and look through the books. I feel like discovering my family history has been like living in a detective novel. It's so much more intriguing because I actually have no idea what happens next, I just go with the flow and live it... Hmm, perhaps I should write about it!

8. Will I take pictures?

Yes Svetlana, I will be taking lots and lost of pictures!

9. I think Mr. T (oh how he is very different from the Mr. T!) has taken way too much of my attention so I'm diverting that energy. It is difficult for me to imagine you having to walk up and down from the 20th floor! I once lived in an old building with a friend, there was no elevator and she was on the top floor. I remember we'd sometimes arrive at the apartment door out of breath from the climb. We lived on the third floor! It is hard to imagine your "climb", but I can, and I can sympathise.

10. "What I noticed you and I share... need to be done."

I laughed when I read this. Three reasons. Firstly, it is so accurate. Secondly, I didn't think of it myself. Thirdly, your powers of observation are hauntingly accurate.

I think we are both original thinkers and unconventional.


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kallini2010 3 weeks ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Now, Maja, this is a short note, but I know you'll get a kick out of it.

1. This hub aka Lounge aka "You Two Get a Room" was moved to a Letterpile - the last thing I would have expected. Actually, I did not think about vertical sites at all - I am more of a spiral kind of person.

2. When you talk about "not writing to your successors" - of course, you cannot write like "My dear successors, whomever you might be and whatever language you might speak..."

It doesn't work like that. What I meant by "writing for them" - ultimately you write for yourself and that's what matters.

Back when I felt much better (no, actually, I didn't, but it was in my previous life), when Daniel was little, I used to cook different recipes and it was hard for me to keep track what I've done and how was it -

easy to make

worth repeating

what book and what page

Sounds familiar? I hated the mess and losing track, so I created a file - Recipe Index in Excel. Recently Daniel, now 13, discovers the file - neatly printed out and put into plastic folders. He was amazed, he was laughing at my comments - it would not occur to me, that such a trivial thing would make such an impact.

So, yes, "the heritage" can be overwhelming, but you cannot imagine how many "useless" things I have thrown out and how much I regret it. These things, no matter how useless, are irreplaceable.

I keep stuff until I am 100% sure I won't regret throwing out. And I get mad if anyone throws away my stuff - like my love letters - you know it was no one's right to get rid of them. Not because I am in love with those who wrote them, but because they were mine and I would rather have kept them.

And that's why every time I have an inclination to throw away writing that I should be ashamed of, I keep it (for myself) as a reminder not to get into such state ever again.

It's all a matter of organization.

So, basically, I got to my point again - we have to find the way how to manage our stuff, conversations included.

I can imagine myself in that old house seeing old books!

Of course, I will get to respond to your comment properly.

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    kallini2010 profile image

    kallini2010454 Followers
    36 Articles

    Degreed as an engineer, turned to Buddhism to find peace, studied psychology to dissect the mind, and studio trained in Tango.


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