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There used to be a time when something called perfection had existed for him and he would strive very hard to attain that “something”. But every attempt at it had only disappointed him and caused misery in his heart, over and over again, stacking upon it.
Going around gnashing his teeth for not getting what he so desperately wanted, and holding onto pride — one that is fueled by ego, he would deflect every chance at a mirthful life that came toward him.
The nature of perfection is such that it is unattainable, or at least that was how it looked like to him at the time. You know he did cling on to persistence, but perhaps with the wrong things.
Floccinaucinihilipilification had become his hobby, darting upon himself and this act had devoured him in ways he had never imagined. The consequences had mercilessly pierced deep into his soul. Such was the depth of his hurting. An utter failure is what he saw of himself and for as strong and gritty a persona he used to carry, it all dimmed down with his hope slowly evaporating.
He had taken every effort by then to climb this ladder — one whose end could not be met as if it extended exponentially with each pull of his continuously blemishing existence. It was simply unfathomable. Everything he did had turned out to be nothing but unpleasant and when the last bar of hope was blinking, he felt as though he was done for.
But.. how could a man who withstood all of this, give up?
How could this be.. the end?
When the impact had finally left the brim of his eternal stubbornness, a moment of flabbergastation had phased in, not the one that usually occurs. It was different this time.
He stayed down in retrospect, revisiting the journey that led him all the way here. In a spark, for the first time, he allowed the idea of imperfection to seep into the deconstructed realm of his thoughts.
For the first time, he let the flaws overtake.
He realized a truth that changed the world for him and with it, he found a new path — one that isn’t perfect but one that will bring him both joy and contentment.
With all the might that was left in him, he destroyed his cantankerous self and by impossibly doing so, he enabled himself to see visibly, think thoughtfully and act righteously.
And you know what? He did give up. Yes, he gave up on the self that couldn’t get a grasp of what perfection is and that was his defeat — a defeat that pronounced jubilation.
© 2018 xFaheemZ