Time never stays the same, though you struggle as much as you can to make it beautiful and happening.
Besides, she is still thankful to Allah for setting her faith and life this way! People are suffering way more than she is, so she has no regrets from her life. At every step of life, situations taught her new lessons. Hardships, depressions, regrets and all those stuffs that are breaking her apart will stay besides her. Still after the sufferings, she still wears a smile on her face to her her inner scars. she has the courage to make bad days into the good ones but she is tired now! she is tired of explaining people and giving proofs.
4 years from now she was totally broken. her parents brought her back to life. she was doing fine, she met few good people made of love that brought light to her life. She was doing good till now thinking her life is complete and happy. She wondered no more bad days are going to come now. But as the bad time didn't stay before, how could good time stay? Yes! that's the rule of life.
She is all grown up, with a beautiful face and lovely mind carrying smile all the time. She is learning to stay happy but the child in her is fading away. She has more responsibilities now. She was shocked by the attitude of people that was only based on give and take. They only she thought are the true ones are not understanding her. Leaving her apart, not talking, ignoring and hating. She is loosing everyone she loves, She is being hated because her lifestyle is not acceptable by those loved ones, now!
She is dying inside, she is not able to figure out who to make happy and how to make them happy? She never demanded thinking the close ones understand but expectations hurt. She was standing on an edge where her jokes were not taken as jokes anymore, where she was afraid to speak not knowing what will hurt others. But she wants to speak, needs to take things back to normal.
She wants to speak that ho much it hurts when both of the parents are sick at the same time. She wants to speak that how much it hurts when she has to work twice more than the work she used to do. She wants to explain that how much it hurts when your friends don't consider you no more theirs, She wants to explain that how much it hurts when she cannot find the ones who used to understand her unsaid. She wants to tell how much it hurts daily when she has to struggle to bring things back to normal. But she couldn't tell because she can't find the way back.
She figured out that words are getting more worthy than feelings. But she has no courage to give explanations, she is tired of making everyone come back. Now she has lost her battle of keeping relations together. This girl is not able to do this anymore.She is totally broken. She cannot express. She is tangled between what to set; Her busy life or her close ones? She is no more for what she was before. Still she is trying to be happy because she knows how to hide the scars and make them feel like blossoms on her smile.
A girl who couldn't express!
© 2018 Rabbia Javaid