A Day Alone Sitting On A Park Bench Proves To Be Enlightening. - Flash Fiction A Challenge Issued By DZYMsLizzy

Updated on November 11, 2019
always exploring profile image

I am finding that flash fiction is really fun to write, hopefully you will enjoy my story.

Analisa sat alone on the park bench, the scow on her face as dark as the gathering thunderclouds.

When it began to rain, she didn't move. Where could she go? Blindness had been a thorn in her side since birth.

Her father, Thomas promised to return in a few minutes, and it had been well over an hour. Supposedly, he went to the corner to purchase a newspaper. He'd been acting strange and nervous lately.

As she sat waiting her thoughts returned to her mother who left soon after her birth, telling her father Thomas, " I can't deal with a blind child. "

Analisa's father had raised her with help from a dear lady Anne who'd answered an ad in the newspaper. Tom noticed her kindness immediately and welcomed her with opened arms.

The school where Analisa attended Monday through Friday.

Analisa spent Monday through Friday at a school for the blind, learning to cope and take care of personal needs.

She is now eighteen and living at home. She remained seated on the park bench until she recognized a familiar voice. It was Anne. She told her that she had just received a phone call from the local hospital informing her of her father's admission earlier. It seems he was struck by a speeding car and was unconscious until a few minutes ago. He was not seriously injured. He had the hospital call Anne to tell her where to find Analisa.

When Analisa and Anne returned home, Anne told her that she had a surprise for her. It seems she and Thomas had fallen in love over the years and were waiting for the right time to tell her. Analisa took a deep breath and smiling threw happy tears told her that she too had good news. " I've been seeing flickering light all week and it's getting more frequent and lasting longer, I didn't want to mention it in case it wouldn't last, but this is a day of extraordinary news, and let's promise never to hold back anything out of fear ever again! "

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    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      9 days ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Lori, so happy you liked my story. Thank you for a sweet comment....

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 

      9 days ago from Pacific Northwest

      What a lovely story. I felt sad that her mom left because she was blind but God took care of her well.

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      10 days ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Cam. I really didn't know how this story was going to end when I started to write it. I thought of her father giving up and leaving like her mother did, but my heart took over. Funny how that happens. So glad you liked this version. Thank you.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 

      10 days ago from Kettering, Ohio through January, 2020

      Thank you for the happy ending this morning, Ruby. I was afraid for Analisa's father for a moment. Good story.

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      12 days ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Nikki, you are so generous with your comments. Glad you enjoyed. Thank you.

    • nikkikhan10 profile image

      Nikki Khan 

      13 days ago from London

      You did it very well Ruby. You are a talented writer, I must say. I liked the flow of the story how it went. Brilliant dear. Blessings.

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Thank you Devika, so glad you liked this piece.

    • profile image

      Devika Primic 

      2 weeks ago

      Hi Ruby you are talented and followed through to perfection on this title.

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      So happy that you like my piece from your challenge. I'm ready for another one from you.

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 

      2 weeks ago from Oakley, CA

      Well done! Brava! Thanks so much for participating. ;-)

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Manatita. It is comments like yours that encourage me to dig deeper. Thank you so much. Welcome back!

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      2 weeks ago from london

      Your writing is deeper in a more inclusive sense. You are bringing in the senses to make it flow more and to be impactful, engaging. A rare talent. Excellent job, Ruby. proud of you!

      I also love the line given by DZYMsLizzy. One can do so much with this! Wonderful!!

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello William, Your comment put a smile on my face. Thank you.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 

      2 weeks ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Good stuff, Ruby. You can say so much in a few words. that's a special talent!

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Genna, I feel so blessed having you comment on my writing. Thank you so much. Hugs.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 

      2 weeks ago from Massachusetts, USA

      A beautiful story, Ruby. It reflects your giving and gentle heart that is a privilege for all of us to know. And you write flash fiction so well!

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Shannon, I'm so glad you told me about the typo. I fixed it. And please believe that I am in no way offended. I went over this piece twice before hitting post and still missed it. I really don't know if we will have many kids out trick or treating, it's going to be in the 30's. I went to town today and bought candy just in case. Thank you for the nice comment. I love writing short fiction..

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      2 weeks ago from Texas

      You have a knack for short and sweet stories, Ruby. They're an uplifting treat to read on this cold day. Speaking of cold, do you expect many trick-or-treaters tonight? My friends and family in IL are not too happy about the forecast up there!

      I'd tell you this in a private email, but I don't think I have your email address anymore. You have one typo that I saw. Instead of 'through' you typed 'threw'. I hate it when no one points out typos to me, so I hope I haven't offended you. And if it makes you feel any better, I had a couple of them in the Mark Chesnutt interview article that someone was nice enough to point out to me to fix sooner rather than later. Whew! LOL

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Paula. So happy that you liked my story. Your comment encourages me more than I can express. I hope more Hubbers take up the challenge, HINT HINT Thank you..

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Thank you Ven, so glad you liked my story.

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 

      2 weeks ago from Hyderabad, India

      Very interesting and beautiful story. You narrated it awesomely.

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Mar. I love challenges. I was thinking of Ray's son Terry who is deaf. He signs and has a video on one of his TV'S. When you call him he has a person sign what you say, then he answers back with sign language and the person tells you what he says. It's really remarkable. We have many blessings to be thankful for, and one of them is you. Thanks for always being there for me. Lots of hugs and love

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      2 weeks ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Ruby girl...You've got what it takes to write fascinating tales. Whether Flash or Poetry or articles of human interest! Wonderful job as always! You took the challenge and you SHINE!...Cheers, Paula

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 

      2 weeks ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Your slant to this writing challenge is both hopeful and heartwarming, dear Ruby.

      Beautiful, like you. Love, mar

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Thank you so much Doris. It was a pleasure reading your comment.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      Doris James MizBejabbers 

      3 weeks ago from Beautiful South

      Beautiful story, Ruby, and a fantastic happy ending that was a total surprise. It was a genuine pleasure to read.

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      3 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Go for it Hari. I'll be watching for it!!!!

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      3 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Shauna, I had a blast writing this, I'm so glad you liked it. thank you.

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      3 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Bill, me thinks your comment is sweet and encouraging. Thank you.

    • shprd74 profile image

      Hari Prasad S 

      3 weeks ago from Bangalore

      Sure i have to. The thought had been tickling me since few months. Must do it now that you are encouraging. :-)

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      3 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Hari, writing short fiction is so much fun. Why don't you try it? You will find the challenge in the forum. Thank you.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      3 weeks ago from Central Florida

      Ruby, I'm so glad you turned Liz's challenge into a hub. I love the ending of this one and did not see it coming! I think good fiction stories don't give away the ending, but take the reader by surprise.

      You did just that.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      3 weeks ago from Olympia, WA

      Me thinks flash fiction is a talent you have. The proof is right here in the pudding. :)

    • shprd74 profile image

      Hari Prasad S 

      3 weeks ago from Bangalore

      Ruby, I liked the flow and the beautiful short story. Very well presented. Loved this happy and emotional story.

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      3 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Thank you Pamela. So glad you liked my story.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      3 weeks ago from Sunny Florida

      Ruby, I think you definitely rose to the challenge. This is a very good flash fiction story.

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      3 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Clive, Good things happen to good people, or so it's supposed to be. Good to see you, and thanks...

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 

      3 weeks ago from Jamaica

      great. She will see again. love conquers all.

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      3 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Oh Eric, a time without hope is a lonely place to be, I know because I've been there, but thankful we no longer are without hope. Peace and healing my friend.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      3 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      It was a place far from home. I was so lonely. I was young. I sat on a park bench over looking the Seine and was near crying. I was blind to hope.

      Thank you for this reminder.

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