Skip to main content

Flash, Flash Fiction: Who's the Real Ruler?

MizBejabbers has been a professional writer/editor for all of her adult life. Before that, she was just a little girl storyteller.


The Jester Was Late

Queen Esmerelda barked, “Where is Griswold?” “I summoned him a long time ago!” Her ladies in waiting shuddered. Nobody kept Her Majesty waiting. Nobody! She had ordered subjects beheaded for keeping her waiting for shorter periods than this. Griswold was only a court jester, one of several. “Off with his head” probably would be her next command.

The tardy, soon-to-be-late, court jester finally bowed to the queen, to whom a minute equaled an hour. Esmerelda had felt the need of someone to cheer her up, and now she really was upset. Griswold was in trouble.

The Jester Was in Deep Doodoo

“Begging your majesty’s pardon,” Griswold apologized to the scowling face.

“You have kept me waiting, your Sorry Lateship. What is your lame excuse to keep me from having you beheaded?”

Knowing that no excuse would be believed by Her Majesty, the truth tumbled from his mouth. “My deepest apologies, Your Majesty. I usually try to serve Your Majesty from my heart with my deepest feelings of high esteem for you. But my arse said to my heart, ‘today I am in charge, and you will serve the queen when I say so.’ My arse just now relieved my heart to answer your summons, Your Majesty. I was in the loo with the flux.”

The horrified court emitted a collective gasp. Then complete silence. After a pregnant pause the queen exploded in laughter until tears streamed down her cheeks. Finished with her unladylike guffaw, she said to Griswold, “That is the most amusing thing anyone has ever dared say to me. From this moment, I command you to be my personal jester. Now proceed to entertain me some more.”

My Husband Was a Stand In for My Muse on This One

For some reason, my muse decided to take a vacation this summer. You know my muse, the one who looks like Johnny Depp and talks like Keith Richards? I guess it was so inspired by Pirates of the Caribbean reruns that it decided to go on a cruise without me. But to make a long story short, one day my husband, Larry, remarked about the old joke the brain only thinks it controls the body. With instant inspiration for a fiction, I kicked into high gear without the presence of my muse. I certainly hope that he is enjoying himself on that cruise without me.

I guess I could have made this little story into a longer flash fiction by adding more descriptive details, but why bother? When the message is self-contained like this one, to add more description just drags it out, which can lead to boredom.

Somehow I just can’t hit the HP requirement of 1150 words on this story, so it probably will never see a niche site, but that’s all right. My vacationing muse will return soon. I hope he’s feeling refreshed and ready to go, because I’d like to get back to my writing. But I’m just a little bit jealous that he didn't invite me to go with him. I do hope he brings me back one of those pretty little shell necklaces.

But for now, I'll just throw in one of those nonsensical videos and a silly poll that HP likes so much, so ENJOY!

Addition: My Mom Also Inspired This Tale

I was in such a rush to get this published and move on to something else that I forgot one of the main reasons that I wrote this tale of honesty. My mom deserves credit for this with an anecdote of her own of what happened to her one day in the third grade. I think she used it as a teaching tool to teach me.

She said that the teacher told the class that she was leaving the room for a few minutes and instructed them not to talk while she was gone. She wanted to return to a quite room. Mom said that, of course, almost all of the students took advantage of her absence and the room began to buzz. She was one of the talkers.

Upon returning to the noisy room, the teacher singled out the students one by one, asking them if they talked. If they denied it and she knew that they did they were punished. Likewise if the student admitted talking and started making excuses for his or her disobedience, the student was punished. Finally she came to my mom, little Mildred. "Mildred, she asked, "were you talking?"

Mom admitted that she was, and the teacher asked her why was she talking.

Mom said she couldn't think of an excuse and knew she would be punished anyway even if she did, so she replied, "Because I wanted to."

She said the teacher was so flustered at her honest answer that she said, "well, all right, just don't do it again. Unlike the other kids, mom didn't receive any punishment. However, she said that excuse only worked one time. Later on, if another student tried the same answer, the wise teacher didn't accept it as an excuse.

My Silly Little Poll

© 2018 Doris James MizBejabbers

Related Articles