'Jimagain' is back!
...like a bad dream. Confusing dialogue, dangling participles, convoluted thinking, inane and profuse verbiage! What a waste of effort!
My grammar is minimal, deplorable, maybe even criminal, but I'm more concerned about what I say than how I say it. Content is my main pursuit when I write... Maybe I should be charged with something like, 'assault with a deadly adjective'.
I don't know anyone less qualified to write about writing...than me!
So why try?
It all starts with a lofty idea and grandiose aspirations. You're seeing interviews and book tours floating in your head ...you rush to jot down a few notes, then after a lot of effort and countless rewrites, when you can't stand to type another letter ..the masterpeice is finished!
I gaze admiringly at my creation! Then, delusions of literary granduer fade to frustration. That's about the time I realize it's a piece of crap...but it's my crap. I wrote that crap!
Sigh! If only I had talent!
Hey, if you think I can't write, you should hear me sing!
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Delusions of a wanna-be writer!
I had conjured up imaginary scenes of me cranking out literary masterpieces at home while my supportive apprentice writing dog lay sprawled across the floor.
Reality: Cletus, my neurotic Great Dane, is propped up against my desk in the way, whenever I attempt to write. He thinks my full-time job is to dote on him! Did I mention I can't write? That's ok. He can't type!
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Jim Henderson is currently employed as an apprentice pooper-scooper for the elephants at an unnamed zoo to protect the dignity of the afore-entioned elephants, who wish to remain anonymous.
While collecting large piles of steamy elephant manure, Jim pretends to be a writer. He enjoys writing and has had several articles published in various on-line publications, none of which will admit to doing so. The editors of each publication were promptly fired when their mistake was discovered.